Nowhere to hide

11. call him

as i stood there looking at mia, i couldn't even imagine where to start. i had to explain it. all of it. she is a very trustworthy person after all, plus if she's being dragged into this, she deserves to know.

i got our tea ready and put it on the table along with the pizza as i sat down, leaving mia to do the same. we then started eating and slowly, i explained my current situation. trying my best not to scare her, i also explained my story with aster and what i know of it so far. so really, not too much.

her face was expressionless. i couldn't read her no matter how much i tried.

"i'm in." she said calmly, looking at me ever so seriously.

"in- in for what mia?" i tried to pick out the words as to not seem rude.

"they came after me jocelyn. i want to help you. there's no way you're going through this alone. i cant leave you when something like this can get you killed!" she said, raising her voice with every sentence.

i could use someone as skilled as mia. she may seem soft but from what i've already seen, she can manipulate her emotions easily and that's always useful. however i can't risk it, what if someone happens to her?

"mia, you might die, you know that? i cant carry that responsibility on my shoulders. they did go for you, you had valuable information on you, but you can choose to stay completely out of this mess. i won't be mad if you ditch all of this completely and run away!" i tried my best to keep calm but i couldn't help the adrenaline taking over my body and it's reactions.

slowly, as if a little unsure, she shook her head without breaking eye contact. as i was about to say something, she starts speaking- "there's no use in running. you can't run away from things like this."

my movements halted to a stop so i could process her words. fucking hell, she's right.

oh how i wish i knew that before.

—————— next day

as i paced around my bedroom i couldn't help but try to restrict myself from even thinking of calling aster. but i had to. i had no idea how to tell my dad or how to contact my mother or what i could even do in this case, as i can no longer even go to work.

i did, however, require training. so many people were after me and after people i am close to who don't even know any of this resurfaced. it pains me to know i can't save them.

hell, i cant even save myself. everything inside me was falling apart once again as i mentally scolded myself for what i was about to do.

i pressed the call button and with immediate regret, i put my phone up to my ear. too late to back out now, jocelyn.

"morning" a raspy voice greeted me from the other side. for a second i thought i lost my voice as i choke out a 'morning' in response.

"why'd you call, love?" he question. my mind still empty, the only thing i could focus on the fact that the way he said 'love' almost made me cry out, however i held myself composed and replied with a simple "i need to talk to you", they typical.

"yeah, what's up?" i heard rustling sounds go through the speaker and cleared my throat. "i might need training for, you know, protection and all."

the less awkward i tried to sound, the more awkward i sounded while also processing whatever the fuck i was saying. did it even make sense?

"am i not all the protection you need, princess?" the pet name rolled off his tongue like it was his second nature to be saying those on the daily.

"y-you- no i mean, what i- i mean is i-" damn it.

"i was joking jocelyn, relax. why did you call me for that? i'm not your boss. i don't make those decisions for you. hell, we aren't even friends, so i can't tell if the advice i give you is decent or crap" he chucked and i realized that the only reason i called him was because he was the only person i wanted to talk to right now, merely to get it all out of my head. it almost hurts to speak because everything i say might lead to my own downfall.