Do you know that "excited" feeling you get when you talk to your friends at the end of the school day and make after-school plans to get together and spend the afternoon having loads of fun? :D
Yeah me neither ._.
SO ANYWAYS
After having a heart to heart conversation with Larry (mostly one-sided because Larry doesn't really like to share his feelings), I arrived home in a very good mood and since I have nothing better to do, I shall tell you a story.
--- STORY TIME ---
Remember that evil cat?
Yeah lets just call it "lard ball" because it's a fat blob of evil...
OK so I was walking back home and lard ball was eating from his bowl on the front lawn (why expose this hideous scene to the innocent eyes of the children walking by?). It obviously thought I looked funny or something because it smirked evilly then started choking on its food.
Stumbling around and choking, it's fat head got stuck in a plant pot which rolled to the side.
Hahahaha what a dumbass
I kicked the plant pot towards the road in hopes that a truck would run over it then backtrack and then run over it again. Then, while it's wheel is over that thing, the truck will burst into flames and roll down the hill with the lard ball stuck on its wheel. It would roll 20 Km to the nearest ocean and will stop until it is at the bottom of the ocean. Then, the ground will split up and swallow the whole thing to the pits of hell.
OK so that was a bit... brutal
But I assure you that thing is not a real cat. It's a spawn of satan with badly glued-on cat fur.
It stopped choking but the cat was still rolling around, trying to get its fat head out. As I looked at the vile creature struggling, I felt this sense of sympathy because after all, it was just a poor stupid animal with the misfortune of having it's big fat head stuck in a plant pot. It could suffocate to death in the middle of the road. Imagine dying like that?
So reluctantly, I kicked the plant pot back onto the front lawn and was about to pull the pot out when I suddenly got a better idea...
"REVENGE!!!! MUHAHAHAHA HAHAHAHAHHA AHAHAHAHAHAAH---*COUGH* *COUGH* arghhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh, that was a bad idea."
"Stupid fly" *glares into empty space*
I rolled the cat all the way into Cheezy's backyard and entered the kitchen through the back door, and (with as much force as i could) I lifted the cat onto the counter. I opened the refrigerator and got out some frozen yogurt, a tray of eggs, peanut butter spread and...
OOH PIE!!!! :D
NO! Snap out of it Merpina, you're on a mission! >:-[
I took all these things out and sat the cat on the tray of eggs which i placed on the floor right in front of the opened refrigerator and spread everything else all over the cat's fat rolls.
When I was satisfied with my work, I quickly pulled out the plant pot (it's made of plastic) from the cat's head and threw it on the floor to create a loud noise then i sprinted out of the kitchen, closing the backdoor slowly, all the way to my front door. I rushed inside and laughed evilly, reminiscing over the crime I just did.
My dad walked past me with a slice of cake in hand and took a brief glance at me. Then with wide eyes he whipped his head back at me and jumped 10 feet in the air, dropping his plate on the floor in the process.
"HOLY MOTHER OF CHEESE CAKE! Derpina!!" ,dad bellowed.
"What?! I'm busy!" ,my mom yelled out from the kitchen.
"I told you not to bring home anymore hobos!! I don't care if you feel sorry for them! Just stop!!"
"What?! But I didn't bring home a hobo!!"
"Well you're not very good at hiding because OBVIOUSLY I CAN SEE TH---"
"DAD! I feel offended!!" >:O
"Oh! Heyyyyyyy Merpina, how's school?" :D
I stood there just staring at him. Maybe if I stare long enough, he'd feel guilty or something.
d =.=b d*.* b
"I swear I knew it was you, I was just joking around! How could I forget my one and only beautiful daughter? Hehe"
d =.=b do.o b
He ran away before I could glare at him some more. I then realize that I was still covered in poop, so I ran upstairs to take a shower.
Afterwards, I glued my butt to the chair in front of my laptop and planned to never ever EVER step outside my room no matter what the circumstances are and once I plan something, I always go with it......
Then my stomach decided it would be an ironic time to feel hungry ._.
Never say never right?
