My Babysitter (gxg)

Chapter Twenty-three: "take a breath"

"Wake up Dari." I groan and I hear her beautiful laugh, "come on I have to help you get your stuff together."

I sigh, "I don't want to leave you, I'm going to miss you so much." I hug her and she kisses me, "Harmony...how will I see you?"

She kisses my head, "don't worry about that, I'll see you at school right...and I'll set up dates for us...secretly, I won't let you drift apart from me Dari I love you so much."

"I love you too." I get out of bed and Harmony helps me to pack all of my things. "School and my parents are going to be a pain in my ass today."

"Watch it...your parents love you very much." she says and kisses me on my cheek.

She goes silent and I look at her curiously, "hey you look a but down, is something wrong?" I stop her from folding and we sit on the bed. She sighs and goes in thought for a while.

"I feel...bad." she says and I narrow my eyes at her, "about Lia...fuck it wouldn't be fair to her if you left or to you if you stayed." she groans into her hand.

I wrap my arms around her carefully, "let me deal with that, for right now I just want to see you and hold you close...at one point I loved Lia but what's a person suppose to do when it just isn't there anymore." I say and stand up, I wonder if she may be worried I'll leave her like I left Lia, "you don't think I'd leave you right?" she looks down.

"No...I haven't doubted you for a minute, I'm just trying to figure out if I'm worth you staying for." I kiss her and she smiles, "I'll assume that's a yes." I nod and we get my stuff to her car.

We'll need to have a serious talk soon and get to know what grounds we stand on. I really want to spend the great of my life with her, it would make me so elated. We get in and I buckle up looking over at her one last time before she starts driving.

We stop at my house and my parents look like they just arrived. I get out and my father looks over from his conversation with the neighbor. My smile widens as I run and hug him, "I missed you dad." he laughs and hugs me back tightly, I feel like crying.

"Haw are you?" he asks and I pause with a small smile.

"I think I'm actually ok, how are you dad?" I say seriously and he thinks about it too. He smiles and pats my hair like he always did.

"I think I'm actually ok too." he looks over at Harmony and she comes over to us. He shakes her hand, "thank you so much for taking care of her for us." Harmony smiles and they start chatting away.

I look around and see my mom looking at the house, "hey mom." I hug her from behind and she breathes a shaky breath of relief, "I missed you."

She turns around with tears in her eyes, "I missed you too baby." I smile and hug her again. In no way did I mean to hurt her, I loved her. Even though we have our hard times I can't hate her.

"Ms. Evans we should be leaving if we want to get to school in time," she agrees and we bid my parents goodbye after giving them my bags. "That want is bad."

"For you." she laughs, "I just had to talk to the father of the woman I slept with, whom I also teach." I try to hold my laugh but fail to.

Once we arrive at the school I kiss her one last time, "I won't be coming home this evening." she smiles though it isn't a happy smile. "I'll see you soon Harmony." she nods and I leave first.

I walk into school and Yvonne stops me, "how was your birthday Dari?" I almost forgot I didn't celebrate with them

"It was fine, at least in finally eighteen now, I can drink and drive and other stuff that could kill me." she laughs and we walk around the hall.

Molly joins us and gives me a hug, "ugh I can't believe were almost done with this bullshit." she says and Yvonne laughs.

"Yeah soon we'll all go our separate ways..." I sigh. I don't like to think about it, it's too sad leaving the people I love.

I see Lia with Tess and Greyson, "guys go on without me I need to talk to Lia." They agree and leave me to join Henry, "hey guys" they smile and greet me, "uh Lia could we talk over lunch or if dinner is better?"

She looks me over, "lunch is fine." she hand me a bag from the café near us, "it's the cheesecake muffin thing you enjoy."

I thank her and they leave, I take out the treat and have it. It's good, better than anything else at the café to be honest.

***

Lunch rolls around and I meet up with Lia at her class door, "come." She takes my hand and leads me to the indoor basketball court. "What did you want to talk about?"

I go silent for a while, "I wanted to talk about us....where we are with this 'relationship'..." she looks at me in deep though as if selecting her words as carefully as possible..

"I guess we're broken up." I look up at her, "which in some ways is fine but not in others....I knew I didn't make you as happy as I did at some point so I distanced myself which was really shifty on my part. I even did it knowing you had issues with attachment. Yet....." she has tears in her eyes and so do I, "I didn't expect you to cheat on me even after I tried to fix what I had broken. I simply loved you so much that I couldn't let go. Then I realized that you and I both deserve to be happy and I'm not who you're happy with. I felt like making you as sad as I was but in reality you deserved so much more."

So many times I'd cried over Lia, I never expected to see her crying and it tore me apart. "I'm happy that we were together, I don't regret it one bit and I'm sorry I cheated on you. I really should have just told you from the start. Instead I hurt you and I'm really sorry."

"Hey it's ok....really you deserve the world and if someone else can give that to you I wouldn't want to fuck that up." she wipes her tears and thinks for a moment, "I want you to be careful until you leave the school at least, she's a teacher and you're a student...most of all, please don't break her heart and don't let her break yours." I hug her and she hugs me back tightly.

"I never deserved you Lia." I choke on tears.

"I didn't deserve you either...we both made mistakes, just promise not to throw me away lets continue to talk." I truly never deserved her huh, she just forgave me like that. We went to get lunch and talked like normal people. She has feelings to sort and so did I but for now everything was ok.

Harmony drove me home and we continued like normal. She would plan dates and I fell more in love with her and no she did not fix my mental illness because that isn't how it works. She helped me though, some day I want to be her wife.

Hello to my lovely readers/ gaybies, for those who have read this book up till now I hope it's been enjoyable. This book really tugged at my heartstrings for the more logical parts. I want to make a epilogue but I might stop writing and crawl back into my hole but for now please take care and I love you.

Ps: I'm not good with words so yeah :) and did you know its a trope for people to get together and bam! Mental illness/trauma that had been there for years fixed...weird.