love poems.

fifty four.

i still feel the dread sometimes.
it calls to me during late nights when i toss and turn in sleep. it bubbles and festers in my veins until it's all i can feel. sometimes i'll be sitting in a parking lot and remember the loneliness that i feel.
i wonder why i feel this way. why cant i be content with my life?
is it because of the loss of love from my mother?
or the way everyone ive ever trusted has hurt me?
there are so many questions to which i don't have the answer.