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Johnny didn't stop, however. He made a habit out of his visits to the roof and started coming there twice a day, during the lunch break and after school. Jaehyun was always there except for the lessons and Johnny sometimes wondered if he actually lived there. When he asked Taeyong, he told him he had a home but it was complicated and Johnny didn't inquire any further. He was keeping busy as he discovered that to be a class president meant more than to give the students a voice, whatever that meant. He had loads of paperwork to do and he had to meet up with other presidents quite often which was typical for schools in Canada and he was just not used to it. Every time he came to the roof it was like an actual break, not just in writing. Jaehyun didn't talk and Johnny felt peaceful, which was something he never achieved taking a rest alone. Jaehyun was like an invigorating nap before a stressful activity, he was the power bank charging people with power, and j leaned towards him like a sunflower towards the sun.
Everyone else Johnny encountered always was in a hurry, always wanted to prove something and Jaehyun just sat there and did nothing. He had nothing to prove, he had nowhere to hurry. Noone could match Jaeyhun level of quietness and he thought Taeyung was the most peaceful being alive.

He would come there during the break, would sit down, and would listen. Not to Jaehyun, not to his own thoughts, but to the murmur of the wind, to the mutterings of the city, it had a view on what it felt like the whole city of Toronto and he imagined to trace single voices and sounds back to their origin. He spent months in silence beside Jaehyun and only rarely spoke to him. Sometimes Jaehyun greeted him with a witty remark, sometimes with an open insult, but Johnny played along and never complained. He never learned what complications he had at home and could not imagine that a person like Jaehyun could have them.
They have moved in together on Taeyong's suggestion and Johnny was surprised that Jaehyun actually agreed when he asked him. It was almost a year since his first visit to the roof and it was getting hard to explain to other people what kind of relationship it was that they had, because Jaehyun was rather infamous and everyone trusted and approved of Johnny and Johnny didn't want to lose that. He was successful in his position and he had to clear Jaehyun's name every time he was mentioned. Jaehyun had a bad reputation when it came to the girls, but it was that kind of reputation that didn't scare them off, that somehow even made him appealing.
They were already living together, it was in the school dorms' quarters, and Johnny just couldn't believe what he was hearing. It was not until he had seen it for himself that had to.
It was a house party in a home of a very rich freshman, that Johnny was acquainted with personally because Chenle was a good connection, that he saw Jaehyun making out with a girl Johnny supposed to be Chenle's classmate. He had never walked in on people like that before so he was eventually embarrassed, it wasn't however why he couldn't move from the spot. There was something else besides the surprise, it was that he was completely swept away by the image, he was startled, he was deeply impressed. He couldn't decide who he wanted to be more, the girl or Jaehyun. He wanted to be both, he wanted to receive as much pleasure as she received and he wanted to give as much as Jaehyun was giving. But most importantly, it was crucial that Jaehyun be involved.

He didn't trust himself in Jaehyun's presence anymore, everytime he had bumped into him in the kitchen, saw him walk by in the halls or sat next to him on the roof he was scared of what his instincts told him to do. He was afraid that some day he might give in and listen and he knew he could only regret that.
He tried out the concept of dating, but was awfully dissatisfied. He would come back to the memory of the party asking himself when exactly it was that everything went wrong and why he was thinking of that. He was so ashamed he didn't dare telling anyone about it. Not even Taeyong. In a sense, it was what Jaehyun's favorite book was to him, it was a safe place, a parent and lover. It was an image of life as it could be, as it wasn't but could, so even in the darkest of moments he wouldn't lose hope that one day, he would finally come to experience it.
The moment had fallen to pieces as he once, sitting on the roof beside Jaehyun, decided to go for it and bent left where Jaehyun held his face. Jaehyun drew back, he was startled, he did not see it coming and had told him, in the peaceful voice that he had, that he was open to all kinds of stuff but it was, sadly, "bad timing". Johnny cheeks were burning with shame, he regretted so much he could not put it into words, he was seething, angry because he had made it clear to himself that he wouldn't do that, and disappointed because some part of him, even if a very little one, hoped that Jaehyun wouldn't mind. He didn't think of the party anymore and he easily blushed whenever his eyes crossed Jaehyun. He was avoiding him, which under given circumstances was rather hard. He wanted to drop dead every time he thought how embarrassing that was which he attempted to do. He wondered why Jaehyun refused.
But above all, he desired to know what it was that Jaehyun did that had the girls rising to cloud nine.