cigarettes after sex

falling in love

Mark was the worst storyteller ever and his monologue ended in silence, during which every three of them were mulling over the contents Mark had just shared.

Everything had started, as was commonly the case, with a family quarrel. Mark's parents had never been the kind to grow sore from a fight. This time, however, his father was seething with incomprehensible anger, making religious references, which he would normally hold back from and, indulging his bad temper, was seen raising his hand. At this point Mark decided to illustrate his father's attachment to superstition and religion. Being a curious child, he always bombed his parents with questions, demanding explanation for natural phenomenons that often could only make any sense with deep understanding of physics. His father, however, always knew what to say, not seldom referring to Jesus' infinite wisdom, which obviously sufficed to quiet his inquisitive child. This fight was the first and, as Mark later admitted, probably the last for him to cite Jesus in an act of defense.
It was around that time that Mark started spending less time home, and if he was not (as he later admitted), busy admiring Donghyuck's musical skills,(because it was of course Donghyuck who played) he was working on his own. Hyuck and Mark were best friends. His parents, and especially his stuffy, religious father, were not informed on the musical essence of their rendezvous-vous' and from Haechan's longing looks he covertly poured on Mark (which Mark phrased as an affront to his delusive parents), deduced they were involved in some Botticelli inspired vicious activities. His mother, intolerant of his Christian reasoning, first only responded to his rant with surly looks, and after they became scheduled, started speaking back. This reincarnated sense of Christianity set her on edge, so one day she simply didn't return home from work. It was the preceding day when such took place, and that was why he was sifting the streets instead of pursuing his musical interests. He and h were meant to perform a musical piece today.

He found his mother at last in the audience, and incapable of admitting the consequences of his actions, decided to hide behind those dusty walls. Such was underlined by a streak of remorseful, self-abusive rant, that obliged Jaehyun to counteract with a series of shallow compliments, and Johnny to make a serious face. He had remained suspiciously silent and, taking silent observations concluded all Mark needed right now was a girl. The introduction of this idea induced a familiar light laugh.
"I'm serious. Once your monk sees you with a girl, he'll cool off"
Jaehyun served him a disapproving look, peripherally saw Mark developing a similar opposition to this suggestion, and noted how his face twisted.
"Rushing into a relationship shouldn't be a solution"
"Are you saying that because you're personally opposed to them or because you really find it a bad idea"
"I'm not opposed to them, I'm just not rushing it"
"Yeah, you're jumping straight into parenthood"
Jaehyun had shot a look at him, which made Johnny regret his remark. But the idea was soon put into practice. Johnny had found Mark the ideal match, which, was not a hard task, not at all. Mark already had if not as many, then even more admirers than Johnny or Jaehyun, so Johnny only had to drop hints in right circles and voilá, the whole thing was settled. Jaehyun was still against this plan, didn't hold back from clarifying it every time it was mentioned.
It was not just the concept of forced relationship that he disliked, but Johnny's approach in general. Jaehyun found something disturbing in the way Johnny forced his idea on Mark, found a resemblance to his father's ways of persuasion. It imbued him with a deeper feeling of empathy for Mark, in whom he recognized his younger self, and a definite feeling of resentment for Johnny. Generally not a talker, he shared less and less words with Johnny, nodded or hummed where he would usually preferred language, and avoided his touch.
Time that he usually spent in Johnny's company he reserved for Mark or solitude, disappearing to places only known to him, and waiting for life to sort itself out. Like it did when his father died, or when Johnny entered the roof terrace for the first time.
When he returned to the dorms, the door to Johnny's room was always closed, and he lacked the desire to check in and see if he was inside.
This whole period of time Jaehyun as though spent in a haze, groping his way around and waiting for it to clear out. He couldn't hold onto any thought, lost his appetite and had reoccurring flashbacks to his childhood that made him wake up in the middle of the night in cold sweat.

Never receiving any apology or explanation for his disappearance and after learning about the title of the mysterious girl that followed Mark everywhere like a shadow, Haechan had a very bad accident and had to be taken to the hospital. He had been cleaning up the chemistry classroom to cover up for jm as he had one of his panic attacks, dropped a glass bulb with acid and burned his slashed fingers trying to pcik them up. Mark was already acquainted with the rest of the clique and had found out about the accident from Taeyong, who encouraged him to pay him a visit, but arriving there, was declined access to his room and had to leave with a smarting recognition of guilt.
Perceiving all that, Jaehyun's agony only enhanced. He expected Mark to turn to him, seek his advice after Johnny's turned out futile, but the result was the exact opposite, Mark abandoned him for Johnny. Mark didn't recognize Johnny's role in all of this, didn't recognize his mistake. And Jaehyun didn't want to be the one to break it to him, so he stayed out of it, secluding himself in the deepest parts of the school no soul knew about.
Waiting for life to balance itself out.