The Sea of You & Me

11. Cal

Chapter Somg: Medicine- JC Stewart || Chemicals- Dean Lewis

Four years ago

Shaking.

My hands, my legs, my heart. My everythigng was shaking. I couldn't help it. The only thing I could focus on was the amount of times I continued to bounce my knee up and down.

483.

The waiting room was silent even though it was filled with everyone we all grew up with. Except the Parker's they were with Liv.

Saying their goodbyes.

But we all were pretending it wasn't a goodbye. It was easier that way. Or at least it was for me. I hated goodbyes. Especially expected ones.

She got sick last summer. A little bit after Kenny left. She's made it a lot longer than what the doctors thought she was going to. It wasn't fucking fair.

I couldn't believe this was actually happening. I couldn't think straight. Life was cruel and a lot of people, good people, got fucked in so many ways. It was foul.

526.

Kennedy tried to come home time and time again but her dad wouldn't let her. I knew Liv wanted her home more than anything but wouldn't let her either. Liam mentioned how Liv would say she was okay, but anytime we saw her you could see it in her eyes. She was withering away. She just tried to video chat when she was feeling okay, and looked at all the pictures Ken sent over. I tried to visit the Parker's anytime I was in town.

Anytime I tried to talk to Kennedy that was the one thing we couldn't talk about. She refused no matter how many times we talked. Even if we sat and just stared at eachother. I never knew what was more loud the tension or the silence. Both are away at us.

591.

Liam and I came to visit a lot more than we should have this past year. Not that we cared. It was more important to be here. We both even tried to transfer back to a college closer to home, but our parents wouldn't let us. I understood as much as I hated to admit it. I knew Liam was miserable. There was no way to even describe it.

I didn't know Kennedy was coming home. Hell I didn't know we'd all have a reunion in a hospital waiting room under these circumstances. Yet here we were.

I was upset she didn't say anything to me. Not even a quick text that she at least made it safe. But I also couldn't be mad. She didn't owe me anything. She wasn't coming home for me.

I was being selfish after all. Her sister was fucking dying and I was upset she didn't tell me she was coming home. How pathetic could I be? I might be sick. I leaned forward in my chair with a sigh.

I just wish I would have known so I could be there for her. Help out the Parkers with anything. But Kenny liked to push people away when she was hurting. Only this time it wasn't intentional. I understood that at least.

648.

Footsteps.

I looked up meeting her eyes. Her beautiful, broken eyes. No tears.

She was haunted. I could tell by the way her body slumped. Her shoulders carried that invisible world on her and it just kept getting heavier and heaveier with each passing second.  Glass shattering on her insides. If you didn't know her you'd think she was just tired, not that her whole world just collapsed.

I shot up instantly. I didn't take a step at first. But I did slowly. Until she rushed into my arms. I held her as if she might slip away. She already had been. Slowly we sank to the floor saying nothing. There wasn't anything to say.