Behind the Scene

XIV. Free Admission pt. 2

"Really?" Mads let out another sigh and fell back onto the bed. I stood in front of him, biting my nails, which was not good.

"Never?" He asked again, propping himself up on his forearms.

"Well, there was this one incident when I was thirteen, but it didn't really go well, so I am still kind of a virgin depending on how you look at it. I mean I would consider myself a virgin."

"But you wanted to have sex today? With me?"

"Like I said, I severely over and under thought the situation. I'm sorry. I didn't want to put you in this weird position, but here we are anyway."

"Yeah, here we are anyway. You know, I don't want to say that this is surprising, because in a way it's not. It kind of suits you."

Virginity suits me. Story of my life.

"Not in a bad way, of course, just...I don't fucking know what I'm saying, so feel free to stop me at any time."

"It's fine. I get it." Sort of.

Mads hadn't made direct eye contact with me for a couple of minutes and I was starting to sweat. I had this period when I was fifteen where I fantasized that when I lost my virginity I would be wearing a beautiful dress, in a candle-lit room on a king size bed, with someone I really loved. My fifteen year old self would cry at the fact that I wanted to have sex with a married guy who I used to obsess over, in a room lit with a cheap lamp, and on a twin sized bed.

I looked over to the door but I knew that wasn't an option. You came here for a reason didn't you? I had come for something, to talk, but the longer I thought about it the more stupid I felt for thinking I was just going to waltz in here and tell Mads that I was a virgin and he'd have sex with me.

"Do you want me to go?" I broke the silence, but there wasn't too much tension in the room.

"Do you want to go?" He responded immediately.

I didn't want to go but I knew that if I left I would just go to Sawyer's room and that would probably have made things even more weird. I walked slowly up to Mads who was now siting straight back up. He wrapped his arms around my waist and I let him. Say something! Do something! Do anything, don't just stand there!

Cautiously lifting Mads' head up from my abdomen I made sure to steady my breathing so he wouldn't think I was as much of a nervous wreck as I actually was. He locked eyes with mine and for a second I felt peace. Everything was quiet. I lowered my head to his and he met me half way with a soft kiss. His lips were warm and his hand pressed into the lower part of my back, soothing the tension that was there. I kissed him again, and with less aggression then when I first walked into his room I cradled his neck into my hands and lowered him slowly onto the mattress. He followed me without any hesitations or apprehension.

Straddled over his waist I could feel him growing beneath me. I could also feel my cheeks flush a bright red, but the light wasn't that bright, so It couldn't have been that noticeable. I unstraddled him so I could lay facing him but when I shifted my thighs he moaned with the pressure. I had never experienced anything like that and I felt this sensation of power flow through me. I let out a hushed giggle and lay on my side looking at Mads who was looking up at the ceiling. I nudged my head toward his and kissed his clean shaven neck. It smelled like Irish spring with a hint of tobacco, a smell that I will always love.

With my lips lingering on his neck he whispered something inaudible to me.

"Hmm?"

He lowered his eyes to mine.