!!TW!!
please be careful reading this entry
i dont know why i cant eat anymore
it annoys me to no end
i cant eat anything without wanting to puke
i dont think i have and ED cause i could eat normally one day and not at all the next
i ate this morning and still want to throw up
im drowning
im pretending im fine but also telling my problems to people
i actually got a boyfriend
and ive told him about my past
and im super insecure and dont like people touching me and ive told him
but he wants to innocently touch me but i can barely
and i feel super bad
cause i dont want him to think its him and i cant even say 'its me not you' cause we all know what that means
i dont know what to do
he always wants to talk and i get it cause hes home alone a lot but i cant do it mentally or emotionally and i dont know how to tell him
and this anxiety makes my stomach more anxious and hurt more
i can hold down my food like it literally will not come up and i hate puke so i dont want to let myself make myself do it
im fucked up i know
i think i need more help than i originally thought
YOU ARE READING
This is all too much
Randomthis is me venting but also trying to be aesthetic so i dont cringe as hard when i reread what i used to feel like and who i used to be i hope that if you read this it might help you not feel alone or just have comfort knowing others are struggling...
