Life or Death - Tommyinnit Angst

- Chapter Seven -

Thoughts are wrote like this.

TW: Idk, angst?

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Tommy's POV:

They haven't let me be alone for more than 10 minutes after what happened.. Tubbo, Ranboo, and Wilbur have been around me the most. They insist that I need therapy but I don't want to. I don't need any more people to judge me.

We haven't posted any videos or streamed in a while. The fans are getting worried and I honestly can't blame them. Usually, they get at least a few streams from each of us or maybe a video a month. I'm just hopping that they don't look too much into it or get mad.

I was in my room playing Animal Crossing when Wilbur barged in. "Get up. We have to go somewhere." "Where?" "Surprise!" He said with a smile. Weird. I closed out of the game and got dressed. I put on a red hoodie with some jeans and my sneakers.

When I got down stairs Wilbur, Ranboo, Tubbo, and Phil were all ready and chatting. "Hey Toms, you ready?" Phil asked. "Uh, yeah I guess." "Lets go then!" We all got into the car. Ranboo, Tubbo, and I were in the back and Wilbur was in the front because 'Wilbur is the oldest.'

When we got to the place I was horrified. They took me to a therapist! "What the heck!" I felt very betrayed. I thought we would be doing something fun so that I could feel more independent. "Tommy, please just try?" Phil asked me. "No! I don't want to! I don't need it, I'm doing just fine!" They all looked at me questioningly. "Please Tommy? Tubbo and I will come with you." Ranboo said. "I never said I would!" Tubbo yelled out before Ranboo elbowed him in the side. That shut him up.

"Fine." I said. Ranboo perked up and Wilbur smiled widely. "But only on one condition. I get ten minutes alone when we get home." Wilbur's smile disappeared. It seemed as if it had never been there in the first place. A figment of my imagination. The only way I knew it had been there is from the way his eyes still sparkled with hope for me. I knew he just wanted me to be happy and healthy but it was so hard. "Okay.. But we keep your door open and search your room before and after." I rolled my eyes and scoffed. They made me feel like a child. Unable to be left alone because I could be a 'danger to myself.' At least I got the ten minutes. It was better than nothing I guess.

"Let's go in." Ranboo said. I dragged my feet as we walked into the building. It was honestly quite nice looking. The waiting room had a TV that was playing some stupid generic sitcom. A table was sat in the middle of the room and stored crayons, books, magazines, and all of the normal stuff waiting rooms have for children. I could see a man on his laptop looking quite stressed and a woman talking to her daughter. I couldn't tell her age but I guessed she was a young. The girl looked anxious and was clawing at her arms. The mom had her phone in one hand and was using the other to soothe her daughter. If I looked really hard at the girls arms I could see scars that looked to be from scratch marks. I could hear her whispering to her mother as she tried to control her breathing. I don't know why but I felt as though she felt similar to me.

Ranboo lead us to a seat next to her. "Hello! My name is Ranboo, what's yours?" "U-um.. I-I'm Jamie" She searched the floor as though her life depended on it. "We are just here for my friend, what about you?" "W-well, I'm here to see Taylor." "Oh! I've heard she is very nice. I think you'll like her." "Yeah.. I've just been going through some things lately.." "I'm so sorry to hear that, I hope you feel better soon!" "T-Thank you.." She smiled up at Ranboo. They called her name and she stood up before making her way to the therapist.

We sat there for half an hour before I got called. I begged Wilbur to come but he said that I needed to do this alone. On my way to the therapist's office I saw the girl. She was sat in a yellow and orange themed room on the couch. She was talking to a woman and I could hear her briefly ranting about her life and speaking of the upsetting ideas her head had been chucking at her. Her story was indeed similar to mine. I was proud of her and I think she was too. I hoped that someday in the future everything would be okay for her.

After I finished we all stopped at McDonalds before going home. They forced me to eat a good meal. When we reached home, I booked it for my room. I kept the door open like they said. I put on music and cried. I cried for the whole ten minutes. I cried for the girl I saw. I cried for the man on his computer. I cried for the mom who looked so devastated that her baby was so sad. I cried for the people at the restaurant. I cried for my friends. I cried for my family. And most of all, I cried for me.
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921 words.