You Are Muted

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Messenger

[ Catania Cailean Artienda ]

January 1, 2020 | 12:00 AM

Bryle Clayton Zalameza:
Happiest birthday, Cailean!

It's been four months and a half. But it still you, Cai. I still fucking love you :(

I don't know if you still feel the same... or are you still waiting for me?

I find it funny. Your birthday is the same date as new year. Your birthday represent a new start and another chapter to your life

I've been through much this year and all I can say is thank you. Thank you for making me realize that I'm worth something. That each morning I wake up to look in the mirror and smile, because I know at least I am worth it to someone

At being, I didn't know how to love my self, I didn't know how to appreciate my own worth, they always say that don't go into something if you can't love yourself. And suddenly you came, you are the reason why I started to love and appreciate myself

You gave me strength and happiness when no one else did. I don't have a lot of self confidence, yet you motivated me to believe and trust myself, because mo matter happens. I know that you always have my back

You changed me Cailean. I can't imagine the past months wihout you. Staying here feels exhausting. It's feel so cold, lonely, alone

I miss your bubbly and humorous personality, your long warm 'bear hugs', holding your hands inside the pocket of my hoodie, kissing your forehead... I miss everything about you

I just feel bad that I can't be there in your special day to celebrate your birthday with me :( but you know I wish nothing but pure and genuine happiness to you

You deserve to be happy Cailean. There are times that I am doubting myself if do I reay deserve you? You're too much for me and I understand if you can't wait any longer for me to go back there

But I'll still keep on fighting. I will hold on as long as I can. Kahit bumitaw ka na, kakapit pa rin ako :)

Happiest birthday, Cailean

Please be happy