Elena's pov:
I opened the door and when my father saw a bloody, bruised, pale, barely breathing boy in Nate's arms, he quickly helped him in and took him to the room where he treated his patients.. When my mother saw him she gasped and asked me what happened when father took him away.. I knew she was really fond of him. She knew he was a good person with a good heart. She even said that she was 'happy with the people I get involved with' she was pretty pissed the first time matt came home, that was also the last time. I hadn't ever told her what went on in his house. How he was abused, both mentally and physically.. Stefan didn't want me to.. Whenever he was home he tried his best to hide any bruises he had visible, but some always stayed open to the eyes and mother saw them.. She used to ask about them at first, he used to lie, come up with an excuse, obviously.. He didn't want anyone to know, he didn't want to burden anyone with the truth. But mother wasn't dumb.. She knew. I saw it in her eyes. Sadness whenever she saw him. He didn't want anyone to pity him, mostly because he thought he deserved everything he got.. I remember having to explain to him that the amount of torture that happened to him was not something normal, something needed to be done.. He felt like he was just getting what he was due.. I kept telling him that he was wrong.. The cruelty he received was not justified.. And that he wasn't deserving of it.. He half heartedly believed my words and kept trying to oppose me and saying that it's normal for him to get beaten.. To be brought down in his own house, by his own father, someone who was supposed to take care of him, nurture him, love him, but instead was doing this. Mother actually was so concerned about the amount of food he was eating that she used to pack him some food before he left, probably thinking that he doesn't even get enough food in his house. Once she hugged him goodbye and he started crying.. He felt so touched by a gesture one might think was so small.. Meant so much to him that he was utterly unable to control his feelings. He had bowed his head down, unable to look anyone in the eyes, ashamed that he had let himself cry in front of us.. I remember taking his face in my hands and hugging him. Letting him cry into the crook of my neck freely. I told mother everything I knew and by the end of it tears were freely rolling down her face and she was holding her hand on her mouth to stop herself from gasping. I hadn't been able to stop my tears ever since I saw him like that.. I don't know what I'm going to do without him.. Why hasn't father cured him yet? What's happening.. Why is it taking so much time?! I try go to the the room when j see nate come out of it.. Tears in his own eyes , he furiously wipes them away when he sees me. "WHAT HAPPENED?! IS HE OKAY?! WHAT DID FATHER SAY??" I ask a thousand questions all at once and he swallows hard before starting to answer. " He has lost a lot of blood- it- " He pauses and squeezes his eyes shut for a moment before continuing, " Your father says he's not sure if he will be able to save him" "NO- NO YOU'RE LYING THAT'S NOT- THAT CAN'T BE TRUE- HE CAN'T DIE?!?" "HE WON'T DIE JUST-" "NO NO NO-" I start freaking out and he stops me. "ELENA STOP-" he knows my name.. Stefan must have told him about me.. "Your father is going to get more blood- it won't take long- it's going to be okay. " He says calmly and I myself begin to calm down when I hear that. "Can I -" I ask him if I could go inside and see him and he understands and nods.. I go in to see him lying there, skin pale white, just as the covers over him.. A blood bag pumping blood into him, a tube attatched to his wrist. The blood bag was almost empty.. Father needs to come back soon.. I sit beside him grabbing a chair and hold his good hand in mine. "Stefan.. Just please don't leave me.. I- I can't do this without you- I know you think the world will be a better place to live in if you're gone and all that bullshit but you're wrong.. My world will be all black and white- I can't lose you- I'm sorry for whatever happened between us but- I don't know if I can live without you, stef- I love you- please don't leave me-" I can't stop crying and I'm speaking to him as if he can hear me.. A second or two later, he stirs, I gasp, hopefully. "E-elena? " He's confused. "How- how am I here- no- please I can't be Alive- I was supposed to dead- please elena- you-" "Calm down stef. Don't stress- just calm down- " I say, with happy yet scared tears in my eyes, at least he's alive, but is be well? God please let him be well. As if on que, father walks in and takes over with his supplies. He asks me to get out as he sees stefan panic, unable to believe that he's still alive. That all of his efforts trying to die went all to waste.. I see him and my heart clenches because he's SO SO ruined.. "E-elena-" He's scared. He's scared and he's calling out to me because I'm the only person he knows out here.. God he looks like a frightened little child. He's shivering and looking around trying to make sense of where he is. He has never seen this room. Nor has he seen my father. I'm the only known face and it's like there's no ground beneath him and he wants to hold onto something. He wants me to stay. Father looks at me when he calls my name, and finally makes the realisation that this beaten boy with slit wrists is my best friend. He nods, telling me it's okay to stay and I go to his other side and sit beside him, holding his hand. He's crying.. Quietly.. So much. He looks like he's breaking down and he can do nothing to stop it. Father looks at him pitifully and continues his work. He winces in pain whenever father touches his hand. I think he has made the realisation that he's not dead, he's alive, this is not all some sort of hallucination, because earlier he was panicking, he was lost.. But now there's a look of acceptance on his face , but also, a look of defeat, of hopelessness, of despair. My heart breaks even more, if that's possible, when I see him like this. Father puts another blanket on him because he can see that Stefan is cold and trembling.. One would think he'd start to dose off because he looks so tired.. But he doesn't.. He's wide awake. Tears keep streaming down his face and he coughs a bit and I notice how cold his body is. I start rubbing his arms with both of mine and he looks at me as if saying, "why are you doing this. Please stop. Don't help me " When father is satisfied with his condition and sure that he is stable, he starts taking care of the bleeding of his head. He wraps a band aid around his head and cleans all the blood on his neck, trickling down the forehead to the ear. When he's done with it he gently turns him around, to lay him on his stomach, his shirt's back is bloody and father understands why.. He was starting to attend to his ribs first but saw that laying on his back like this was causing Stefan a lot of pain as he kept wincing and fisting the sheets , a feeble attempt , squeezing his eyes shut because of the pain.. He even was trying to turn but didn't have enough energy so when father saw him get consumed by pain, lolling his head around as if that will help, he started on his back first. Stefan's body was limp and father turned him around easily. That's how weak he was. I started running fingers through his hair, not caring if father thinks it's inappropriate, which I'm certain he won't. He is a good, practical person. When father lifts his shirt I gasp when I see the whip marks. It looks so bad that it actually makes me feel sick and I cover my eyes but Stefan sees that and looks away ashamed. Why is he ashamed?! He didn't do any of this. He didn't deserve any of this. If Anyone should be ashamed, it's his father. I remove my hand from my face and hold his in them. He looks so broken, but I see the way he's looking at me.. It is like he's asking me for help, like he doesn't know what to do now and I'm the only one who can help him. There's so much pain in his eyes and I see that he's getting tired as he starts breathing heavily when father is cleaning his wounds and he grits his teeth so that he won't make a sound. As father goes on he starts looking at me for help.. This clearly is hurting him a lot, more so because he has no strength left in him. He's gasping and writhing in pain and finally somehow gains enough strength to softly say " please.." To me.. "Father- can you- please be gentle- it's hurting him.. " "I'm sorry elena but I need to clean the wounds because otherwise he'll get an infection. He already has temperature and it would get really serious if something happens because he doesn't have enough strength right now. " He says and I bite my lip to stop myself from crying because he looks wrecked and none of it is his fault. It's ours. We did this to him. His father hated him from the moment he was born, I left him for popularity, and the only one who stuck by him through all of it, his brother, was now gone. I knew he blamed himself for all of it. That's just what Stefan does. He thinks it's "unfair to blame someone for doing this to him when he deserves all of it " He doesn't know how much he's worth. How much he means to me. When father is done he turns him on his back again to take a look at his ribs because he's clearly having trouble breathing and is trying to squirm again and again, also the shoe marks on his shirt sure tell us that he has been brutally kicked over and over again. When his back touches the sheet he whimpers and closes his eyes. Father checks him up and tells me that he has some bruised ribs and that some pain killers and ice packs will help him. He leaves the room when he's done. Clearly trying to give me some time to talk to him. Stefan's sweating now.. His cold body now too hot for normal.. He has temperature. But what's concerning me even more right now, is his emotional state. I'm sure he'll be okay physically, but he's so broken inside.. Is it too late now? Can he be fixed? No- he doesn't need fixing.. He just needs love. He keeps looking at me because he's ashamed of himself for doing this. He once told me he wished he was dead and I literally had to council him that he matters.. He promised he won't ever think like that again.. He did though. He was sorry. I could see it in him that he still didn't want to be here but also hated to break his promise and my trust. "Stefan why did you do it? " I said in the calmest tone I could, not to give him the impression that i was mad at him, believe me, I was, but I was more sad. "I- i-" He started stuttering and panicking.. He couldn't even look at me in the eye.. He was trying to sit up but didn't have enough energy so I helped him and he gritted his teeth.. I caressed his cheek with my hand.. He wasn't crying anymore, but his face was moist with the trails of tears. "Please tell me stef.. I just want to help.. " "You can't help me.. You shouldn't help me.. " "Stefan you're- you're not a burden- please just tell me- i-i could've lost you today- please don't ever- why? " "I- Damon- " He started explaining. By the end of it he was shaking and crying, gasping for breath. I hugged him tight and ran my fingers through his hair.. Something I knew always calmed him down.. I see his breathing get relaxed.. Now I know why he did this.. Damon was his rock and even the possibility of his death, especially when he went for Stefan, really made him lose his mind and pushed him over the edge. "He's okay stef. I'm positive. And- and none of it is your fault- please- don't beat yourself up- you don't deserve it. " "But I do 'lena.. " He looked in my eyes. "All I have ever done is inflict pain upon others.. I don't get to live after that! " I put my finger on his lips. "Do you realise how much pain it gave me to see you bleeding yourself to death, barely breathing ? Because that's much more than all the troubles you've ever caused me, combined ? Hell- you never caused me troubles. You made my life better- you- my life's NOTHING without you- how could you even think like that. Everything that has happened is something you could not have been able to control?!please don't blame yourself- Stef.. Please.. You're worth everything.. You deserve happiness.. You deserve love.. " Our foreheads were touching.. I could feel his breath on my face, just as he could feel mine.. "I'm sorry.. " "Don't be- just- never again-.. Always stay with me-" He nodded, kissing my forehead.. His lips were so soft on my skin.. He held my face in his hands.. The feeling of the lingering touch of his lips still on my forehead.. I was breathing heavily.. All of a sudden I felt him come closer to me and I didn't budge, in fact i leaned in.. Our lips brushed and i have never felt something like this before.. But this wasn't enough.. I craved for more.. His hands went to my waist as I came closer to him with my hand on his face and I leaned in again, kissing him.. We pulled away when we were both out of breath and our noses still brushed against each other's as I giggled, thinking about how much I wanted to do this since.. forever and when he saw me he laughed too, there's the boy I knew, the boy I loved. Love. He wraps his arm around me and I bury my neck in his chest. "I'm so sorry-" "It's okay stef- it's just- " "I know.. I- please don't leave me.. " He said, barely in a whisper. "I won't. Ever. " I felt a tear on my shirt as I felt his hand come up to his face, probably to wipe it away.. I see his breathing get laboured.. The whole time I was with him today, I noticed that he was having a lot of breathing issues.. I just it was only because he was in the rain for so long and has gotten sick or something because the other possibility I don't dare think of.. He's getting tired so I ask him to lay down and leave the room, smiling to myself. Stefan and elena. My face heats up just at the thought of it. It's all going to be alright now, I'm going to help him, we'll be together and it's all good. Just then I see father gesturing me to come to him.. I go there thinking it might be something about Stefan.. It was.. But not quite what I thought..
Stefan's pov:
God everything hurts. My throat feels so dry and I'm unable to breath for some reason.. I would kill to have a cigarette right now. I try to take deep breaths and turn to the side, that does help me but not much. God what happened.. I know lately I run out of breath a lot lately.. But this hurts even more.. My lungs hurt.. It feels like they're on fire.. I can hear this low wheezing sound.. What is happening to me.. I cough and that hurts my ribs. My back feels like someone has literally skinned me alive, well, he sort of did. My head feels heavy and My wrists hurt but I can't complain because that's what I did.. I can't believe I did that.. It was selfish and- damon would be so disappointed. I don't know what I was thinking.. I don't know if I'm happy I'm still alive.. But it feels good to know someone is.. Elena.. We kissed.. It didn't feel foreign, for some reason.. It felt like that was where I belonged, if felt like that was supposed to happen.. Meant to be.. My throat feels dry and I want to get water but it doesn't seem to be anywhere near me.. I get up and it takes me time but I make it to the living room where I start hearing noises and I stop.. Mr gilbert and elena are talking about me.. I know it's wrong to listen but.. I can't help it.. "That boy right there is trouble elena! Why don't you get it?! He slit his wrists. He has bruises all over his body and I'm sure he smokes. His lungs were creating the sound that no 15 year olds' can make! He's not good for you! " "how can you even say that?!? You barely know him!! No- you DON'T know him! And he doesn't smoke!" " I DON'T WANT YOU TALKING TO HIM ANYMORE , WHAT WERE YOU THINKING? GOING AROUND KISSING PEOPLE LIKE HIM ! HE'LL RUIN YOUR LIFE ELENA! " "What-" I tried to supress a cough. I had to leave.. I can't stay here anymore.. I feel so weak.. Her father's right- I'll ruin her life- how did I let this happen?! I swore I'll be away from her- God I don't want to leave but her father is right.. Whatever his father said stung a lot.. I didt ask to get beaten, I didn't ask to be bruised.. He thought I was a bad person because of my condition and somewhere deep down I know he's right.. There are tears in my eyes and I can't understand why she trusts me so much.. I do smoke- hell I'll smoke now.. I quietly get out of the window without making a sound. I don't know where I'm going.. But I know what her father said was right.
Author's note: well that happened. They finally kissed ;) also mr. Gilbert just wants good things for his daughter and Stefan does seem like a messed up boy to him. Damon's going to be in the next chapter oop- stelena is obviously going to fix things sooner or later but for now :'( I hope y'all liked it!! Lmk if the new title is better than the old one. Have a great day and ly ❤
