Northern Lights: Bonded in Blood

Chapter 1

"Charlotte, I promise he will be just fine." Cheryl reassured me. She gently took Hayes from my arms, pulling him towards her chest. My hands followed her to his tiny back. My son's face looked at me with confusion. He made a gurgling noise and stared at me with his big blue eyes.

"Alright," I forced myself to mutter, "We will only be gone a week. I know it's not that long but I've never left him before." Cheryl smiled at me knowingly, "I know Char, I remember the first time we had to leave Heath with my parents. I cried the entire trip, I made Samuel come back two days early. He wasn't very happy with me. By the time we got home, I found out Heath didn't even really notice I was gone."

I laughed half heartedly, perhaps Hayes would be similar. He stared at me, I kissed his forehead gently and rubbed noses with him. He giggled and bopped my face with his hand. Smiling, I whispered, "Mama loves you so much baby. I will be back very soon. Grandma and grandpa will take very good care of you." Samuel stepped up behind his wife, putting his arm around her shoulder.

"Maybe he and I can do some reading while you two are gone. I've been meaning to tell him the story of Little Red Riding Hood." Samuel suggested with a grin. Cheryl and I laughed. "Don't tell him the part that he is the big bad wolf in that story. I would like to preserve his innocence for a little while." I begged.

I turned and moved towards the door, waving slowly, "Goodbye baby, mama and daddy will be back very soon." Hayes looked at me with confusion again, I moved quickly out the door, closing it behind me. I waited for a moment to see if there was going to be a meltdown. Listening at the door, I heard some sniffling but no screaming so we were all clear. I moved quickly down the hall towards the foyer where Clark and Heath were waiting for me. When I got to them I realized I had tears in my eyes.

"Come darling, let's go. The sooner we go the sooner we will be back home with our little man." Clark suggested, wrapping his arm around my waist. I nodded, I wiped the tears from my eyes and followed the men out to the side-by-side. My glasses had fogged but I needed to clean them. We hopped in and headed to the air strip.

"How long is the flight?" Clark asked. Heath glanced at him as we pulled away from the pack house, "About three hours to Saskatoon, then we board the larger plane in Saskatoon to take us to Victoria. That flight is about three and a half hours. We only have an hour layover in Saskatoon so the whole journey is about seven and half." Clark nodded. They discussed travel details, I was too distracted with missing my son to really engage. It was the first time I had left Hayes. He had never spent a night away from his parents before. I knew Cheryl and Samuel were very capable but I was uneasy.

As we flew out of Black Lake I stared down at the trees, trying to see the pack house below. Clark took my hand and kissed it lovingly, "Come back to me Char." I giggled, "Don't tease me Beta, I'm having separation anxiety."

He chuckled, rubbing my knee, "I know darling. I can feel it. My parents will be just fine with him. They took great care of Heath and I. We turned out alright." I smiled at him, yes they did.

"Plus Michael and Tabitha are there too so it's not as though he doesn't have an entire family there with him. Hayes has got to be the luckiest little boy in the entire world. He is so loved." He reminded me. Nodding, I rested my head on his shoulder, "Yes I know. I'm sure it will go away. It's just the first time. That's all."

Heath smiled at us but didn't say anything. He was reading over the various itineraries for the next week, trying to keep himself busy. Since Hayes had come along Heath was trying to distract himself from how happy his brother was. I knew as happy as he felt for Clark and myself, he was envious of our little family. I tried to be mindful of his feelings but I was so content with my son and husband, it was difficult not to be ecstatic.

In the last few months Heath had taught himself to play the guitar. He told me he'd always wanted to do something creative but with Alpha training as a young man he never made time for it. Though he wasn't particularly gifted at the instrument he was determined to become a master. The Alpha in him would not allow himself to be defeated, even if it was by an inanimate object. Sometimes we would hear Heath practicing from down the hall outside his office. His singing voice was terrible, but he kept at it, slowly improving as time passed. It was nice to see him doing something just for himself instead of for the entire pack.

The flight to Saskatoon was turbulent. By the time we landed I was sure my stomach couldn't take any more dips and dives. Our layover was uneventful. The Saskatoon airport was small, but they had a Timmies so I decided to treat myself to an ice cap. I hadn't had one in so long, the ice coffee frappe tastes like heaven. I moaned as I sipped the drink, closing my eyes to savor the flavors.

"Careful darling," Clark whispered in my ear, "I'm not going to be able to handle that moaning from you for very long."

I smiled innocently, "I have no idea what you are talking about." Clark chuckled, "Charlotte, you vixen." I kissed his cheek softly, he wrapped his arm around my shoulders.

I knew Clark had been looking forward to this conference for a while now. Our intimate time had decreased significantly since we had Hayes. It was a normal part of adjusting to being parents, your sex life slows down when the babies come. I hadn't been too bothered by it, becoming a mother had kept me very busy. Between taking care of a newborn, preparing for the conference and my duties as the pack druid I was very busy.

Clark was also busy, but I knew he felt deprived. He spent much of his day behind a desk doing paperwork for the pack now that he was officially Beta. Though he still did some training with the warriors he only spent about two days a week in the forest or on the fields. Clark was very hands on with Hayes, taking care of him in the same way I did. He was an excellent father, but I knew he would be.

However, sometimes when we went to bed at night I was exhausted. Clark would never push, he never coerced me into anything. I could feel he wanted me through our bond but for me it was hard to feel sexy after the baby. My body had changed. Not in a bad way per say, but it was different. I used to have small curves with plump breasts. I weighed about one hundred and twenty pounds. After Hayes my stomach continued to stick out and my hips were wider. Now, I weighed one hundred and seventy pounds, I was a size eighteen with larger breasts and full hips. Sometimes it felt so foreign to me, as though it wasn't my own body.

Clark would still touch me the same way he had before. Stroking my back, nestling his face in my neck, touching my hips and waist. He wanted me, I could sense it through the bond every day. I knew he found me beautiful, but I had trouble adjusting to how I had changed since Hayes. I thought about discussing it with Cheryl but I was always too shy to bring it up. My mother and I hadn't discussed it either, whenever I talked to her it was always about Hayes and how he was doing.

Sometimes I would stare at my naked body in the bathroom mirror to study the changes. I had stretch marks still on my stomach and hips. I had made a salve for them, it was working but Rose had told me that nature views stretch marks as a badge of honor so they would never completely go away. I had mixed feelings about that. My breasts had gone from C to D cups permanently, my nipples had also become larger since I was breastfeeding. The small stomach I used to have was gone now, that I had some trouble with. This new body I saw in the mirror felt like a new house rather than my old home. It was not always a welcome change.

As we boarded the plane to Victoria I realized I would be in a bedroom alone with my husband for an entire week. I suddenly became nervous. I hadn't let Clark see my naked form since before Hayes was born. I made my way to my seat with a pang of dread in my stomach. I wasn't very comfortable in this body. I knew Clark would want to have sex, I could sense he was already a bit excited. I tried but I couldn't stop the dread from sinking into my mind. Clark glanced at me, furrowing his brow. I knew he could sense how I was feeling so I shrugged in his direction, "Just a bit uneasy. It's been forever since I have been on a regular size plane."

He nodded, seeming to believe me. I was embarrassed. I didn't know how I was supposed to tell my husband I was nervous to be intimate with him because of the changes to my body. I was afraid things wouldn't feel the same, I wouldn't feel the same. What if Clark didn't want me anymore when he saw what I looked like now? What if it hurts? I closed my eyes, trying to rest. It was an uneasy flight to British Columbia.