Handshakes of a Lifetime - Chapter 8

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Soulmate AU / OT7 x reader / Namjoon x reader Jin x reader Jungkook x  reader & Jimin x reader focused but all the guys have their  ~moments

YAY new update! This took a while, mainly because I  was feeling ahem sad, and I didn't want my mood to "taint" the story. I  would have a hundred percent made my characters suffer with me lol.  Anyways enjoy the spiraling. There's also a cute date. :)

Warnings:  ANGST, brief mention of suicide, mention of dying, lots of PTSD,  drinking, fingering, handjob, a quickie, sex, and more sex lol, is it  cheating idk y/n is figuring things out and the guys ain't making it  easy for her :')

They thought you had both died.

It's  late. You stretch out on the living room couch. They did not want to  leave you alone, and you didn't want to be left alone in your cold  foreign apartment, so here you are wrapped up in blankets inside their  dorm instead.

Namjoon sits on the far corner of the couch, under a  lamp, reading a book. In the otherwise dark apartment, the glow that  illuminates him from above reminds you of the spotlights he stands under  performing for thousands of fans. But right now his only audience is  you, and he doesn't look like his intimidating onstage persona, he looks  warm and inviting, bare skinned and ordinary and just himself, just  Namjoon. You poke his side with your toes and he looks up from his book.

"I can't sleep," you whisper.

"Do you want me to make you some hot tea?"

"No,  I-" you want to ask him for a hug, you want to be comforted by him, but  you can only swallow down your desires as you stare back into his  inquisitive eyes. Why can't the words leave you?

Namjoon  searches your face for an answer, he notices the way your eyes glass  over, and he sets his book down and scoots closer to you. "Do you want  me to-" he motions at you, hesitantly pulling on your covers.

You  close your eyes and nod your head, hoping he'll just come to you. When  he finally settles beside you, you welcome the heat, almost too much  under the layers of blankets, but you don't mind. You wiggle your way  into his arms.

Now that Namjoon surrounds you, you breathe in  deeply, letting his scent comfort you, he wraps his arms tighter around  you as you mull over the last couple of hours.

Namjoon  gasps for breath, body heaving. He tries to calm himself, stop his body  from shaking, stop his head from pounding. He tries to make sense of  everything he just experienced. Taking in his surroundings, he turns to  you. You lay crumpled to the ground, faring no better than him, face  scrunched up in a pain as you cough and breathe air into your lungs. You  grip his hand like a vice and he squeezes back in return.

"Y/n?"  You look up at him when he says your name. The way you stare at him  would have knocked him off his feet if he wasn't already on the ground.  He feels every doubt, uncertainty, and vulnerability peel away from him  as you stare at each other unaware of your anxious audience. Namjoon can  only see you, vulnerable and shaking, and your expression determined.

You  look straight into his soul, see him for who he is, and he sees in your  tearful eyes the words left unspoken between you, "I love you."

Your  name on his lips pulls you into action. You push yourself up from the  ground on shaky legs and launch yourself into Namjoon's arms. Your  presence makes him finally relax. You hold each other. A small laugh  escapes you as you process all the emotions flowing through you, you  can't help it, being in his arms makes you feel so happy.

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