Fade in to Grif, Thea and Simmons looking straight down at the hole.
Grif: Yep, that's a hole alright.
Simmons: That's what I told you!
Grif: Huh. And Sarge's body is gone.
Thea: I had hoped that Sarge would've changed his mind about this.
Simmons: Right. I think it fell through that hole in to the cavern.
Grif: Maybe he just disappeared. Dead things do that when you bury 'em. That's part of the circle of life, you know. It's a miracle when you think about it. No reason to go randomly exploring caves which may or may not contain hundreds of evil bats, that would just be interfering with God's divine plan.
Thea: You do release I'm Jewish, right?
Simmons: Okay, A, Sarge wasn't dead; B, decomposing takes months, not minutes; C, his armour would still be here; and D, shut up, you're going down there. Now.
Thea: Yeah Grif! We have to find him!
Grif: Why? What do we really need Sarge for anyway? All he ever did was yell at us a bunch and tell us we suck, we'll just split up his duties. You yell at me and I'll tell you you suck.
Thea: What do I do?
Grif: You make sure we stay alive.
Simmons: Shut up and get in the hole Grif!
Grif: You suck, Simmons. Hoho man, this new system's already workin' out great! We should have thought of this years ago.
Simmons: Grif, don't you understand that because we lost Sister, we're horribly outnumbered. We already lost Donut and Sarge, now it's five on three. The Blues are probably gearing up for an enormous attack right now. At any moment they're gonna come over that hill, guns blazing yelling "CHAAAARGE!"
Cut to the battleground that suddenly surrounds the Blues as Tex ruthlessly shoots at them
Church: RETREAT!!!
Tucker: Aaaaaaahhhh!
Caboose: Running, running, running, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.
Shawn: I'm too young to die!
Sister: Who is that?
Tucker: That's Tex.
Sister: Whoah, he's a badass.
Caboose: (hit) Ow.
Sister: He's kinda hot.
The Blues take cover behind their base.
Tucker: Tex isn't a guy, she's a girl.
Sister: Oh, sorry. She's a badass. She's kinda hot!
Shawn: Your thinking that at a time like this!
Tucker: She's actually Church's ex-girlfriend.
Sister: Oh yeah? Why aren't you guys dating any more?
Church: Are you seriously asking that question right now?
Shawn: Not now!
Caboose: Last time I was shot, I got a Purple Heart. Yeah uh I hope this time, I get a Purple Lung. You see eventually I, I hope to build an entire purple person. And we will be best friends.
Tucker: Maybe you should ask for a Purple Brain.
Caboose: You're just jealous, 'cause you have no friends.
Shawn: HA!
Tucker: Why is she shooting at us?
Church: How do I know? And why are you acting like this is unusual?
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue (Female OC) season 5
FanfictionA ship crushed on Donut! Who is this mysterious pilot, Tuckers baby has been born and is causing trouble for everyone at blue base. O'Malley is gone and Tex is still missing, Shawn's shady past comes back to huant him. What holds in store for Thea n...
