Fade in on the computer readouts inside the ship as Sheila starts waking up.
Sheila: Hello, and thank you for activating the M808- wait a minute. Where am I?
Caboose: Sheila! You're awake! I am so happy, look- we got you a new place to live. Now you are the big ship lady.
Sheila: I like it. It is so roomy. Much nicer than that stuffy old tank.
Caboose: And now... you can fly.
Sheila: Are you the pilot Caboose? Shall I run the tutorial program?
Caboose: Mmm, yeah. Uh, let's not do that right now.
Cut to the underground viewscreen the Reds are looking at
Sarge: Look they're invading our base! And we're not even there to defend it. Oh the humiliation! Men, this aggression cannot stand. We'll beat those Blues all the way back across the canyon. This is the moment we've all been training for!
Grif: Training? We haven't done any training. Wait, is sleep considered training?
Thea: No, sleeping does not count.
Sarge: Simmons, as with all our battle plans, I need you to punch Grif in the back of the head. Simmons? Simmons!
Simmons: Uh huh, yeah, I agree. Everything you say is right, Red Team's great... hooray.
Sarge: Simmons, stop watching those T.V.s.
Donut: Yeah, Simmons, give it up. There's not gonna be any more pictures of naked girls on there.
Thea: Donut, I am three seconds from hitting you.
Simmons: Shut up, you don't know that. Stop saying that. He doesn't know what he's talking about.
Thea: Your gonna get punched as well.
Sarge: Men, this won't be easy. The Blues will be totally bunkered down. At both bases, which gives them an enormous strategic advantage! But we're the Red Team.
A flag comes into view behind Sarge, and someone starts singing
Sarge: Sure, you might not be the best squad... might not be smart... or energetic, or have any skills that qualify you for duty in any other legitimately recognized military unit. However-
Donut: Where did that flag come from?
Grif: Flag, who gives a shit about the flag? How about who's singing? (Looks at Thea) Is that you?
Thea: I don't sound like a boy. And I don't even know this song.
Sarge: But with precise operations, and proper communication, we will emerge victorious! With a little luck, one of us in particular will die a horrible death! Either at the hands of the Blues, or as part of a cunning distraction by yours truly.
The singing stops
Thea: Thank god the singing stopped.
Simmons: Why don't we just take over Blue Base?
Sarge: Nonsense! At Blue Base they're much more fortified. Blue Base has turrets. Blue Base has a tank!
Simmons: Blue Base has no one in it.
Sarge: What?
Simmons: Look, see? They're all gone.
Sarge walks up to the computer and sees no one at blue base.
Sarge: Where'd they go?
Donut: They went to Red Base. That's what we've been talking about.
Grif: But which one of these caves leads to the Blue Base? I'm all turned around down here.
YOU ARE READING
Red vs blue (Female OC) season 5
FanfictionA ship crushed on Donut! Who is this mysterious pilot, Tuckers baby has been born and is causing trouble for everyone at blue base. O'Malley is gone and Tex is still missing, Shawn's shady past comes back to huant him. What holds in store for Thea n...
