when they call my name

ch. 7

alexandria black

-

When I was a child, I had this nightmare. It lasted a few months, reoccurring every other week. I would cry back to sleep as a soothing mechanism, but that was just a temporary solution. Over time, I had to find another solution to my midnight episode.

The devil's eyes hunting me through the deepest forests and across vast oceans. Following me into the flames from which he created. I've only ever felt the fear while I slept, but now it's seeping into real life.

What started out as a childish fear turned into something even worse.

By the time I reached my apartment complex, the clouds overhead deepen and let light rain fall through. Christian remained true to follow me back as I watch his black Audi park in the space beside mine. When we step out of our own vehicles, I attempt to lighten the situation, "Didn't know I was racing against a snail."

"Now's not the time to make jokes little angel. If you want me to chase you all you have to do is ask nicely."

My cheeks flush. The idea of running away from someone like him both frightens and excites me at the same time.

Christian doesn't speak to me after that. He just watches me as I walk through the little gate in front of the main door, which he holds open.

"Don't do that." I tell him.

"Do what?" He acts surprised.

"Be chivalrous. Acting like you care enough."

Christian's eyes seem to hold more secrets than I intended there to be. The tension in the air has thickened since our arrival. It sends an icy chill down my spine and makes me even more nervous than I was before. When his hands were touching me like it was destined.

He chuckles. "Look at you using your words like a big girl." He runs a hand through his hair as I catch a glimpse of the other tattoos he has. Barbed wire wrapped around what looks like a sword on his forearm.

I stop in my tracks to glare. "What are you talking about?"

"First it was desperate, and now chivalrous." He takes another step until he's practically leaning over me. "What's next?"

I wonder what else I will miss out on knowing about him when all of this is over.

He follows me slowly up the stairs and into my apartment. The air freshener I had set out has evaporated into the clean air, the plants I bought a month ago blooming near the sliding glass doors that lead to the balcony.

Of course, the paper plates Eddie left out on the coffee table are still sitting there directly on top of last semester's textbooks. What's going to happen when the fall semester comes around? Will Christian disappear? Will I move on? Or is nothing going to change?

"Hm, you got mail from UCLA." Christian picks up the university mail from off the island counter."

"I'll look at it later." I reply from the living room. "Probably something stupid I got an email about anyway."

Christian takes his time studying the apartment I share with Eddie. Majority of my life was spent in this apartment, and he's taking his time looking at every piece of it. "Did you grow up here?"

"Hm? Uh, no." I respond. "We lived up closer to Oregon for a few years when I was younger."

He folds his arms. "So why Los Angeles, then?"

I shrug. "I don't know. No other place felt like home to us."

His eyes follow me as I hurry to straighten the living room. On all the things on my priority list, having him here was not one of them. I see him gaze upon the portraits of Eddie and I throughout my younger years and notice him grinning.

He points. "How old are you in this one?"

"Seven." I reply. "I specifically remember not having my two front teeth for a good portion of second grade and the other kids made fun of me. There was even this one kid that would pull on my hair during class and call me 'Toothless Baby' because I was the shortest girl in my class."

Christian sits down on the couch in front of me and leans on the arm. "Was it a boy or girl?"

"Does it matter?"

"Yes. If it was a girl, then she was just a little jealous bitch. If it was a boy..." he glances at the rings on his hands, "don't be surprised if you see his face as a missing person."

I laugh again to hide the nervousness stuck in my throat. "You're bluffing."

"Do I look like I'm bluffing, angel?" He rises to his feet and strides towards me. He parts his lips and studies my face like it's the first time he's ever seen such a design. He traces his finger along my jawline. "I've been to jail before. I've got no shame going back, especially for what's mine."

The pit in my lower stomach returns. He's not standing as close to me as he was earlier, but there is not a dining room of customers stopping him from doing whatever he wants this time.

Question is, would I let him?

The further he is from me, the more my skin longs to feel his. My head and my heart are screaming two completely different things at each other, and although my soul remains silent, it is my physical consciousness that longs for him.

The same hand that's near my face traces along the skin from my jawline to the nape of my neck, collarbone and down to the necklace hanging around my neck. I forget it's there most of the time, but Johnny's heated stares remind me it's there.

"You know, I've become slightly jealous of your God." He mutters.

I struggle to breathe. "How?"

Christian's face never leaves mine. "Cause you get on your knees and worship Him and not me."