The New Girl Around

Chapter 29 ~ The Trip...

"Everyone pick up the pace please. Come on! Come on! There we go, on the bus." I see the teacher waving his hands wildly, trying to speed everyone up. "Ah! Hope, I need you to test everyone with these flash cards ok. You got the pen and pad?" I nod quickly as the teacher carries on struggling to help Flash with his bags.

"Why do I need it anyway?" I ask curiously as he finally pushes the suitcase into the compartment.

"God Flash. We're not gone for the year." He says, somewhat chastising Flash. Flash just rolls his eyes at this. "Sorry about that. I want you to take notes on ones we need to work on. Here's the flash cards, get everyone ready." He says as he puts his thumbs up and smiles. I fake smile back at him and push myself up onto the bus.

"Oh here Mj, let me help you with that." I see Mj struggling to push a bag fully into a compartment as she holds a stack of books in one hand. She smiles and sits down as I quickly push the bag in and close the door.

"Thank you, Hope. Have fun... assisting." She laughs slightly at my over exaggerated smile and my double thumps up. I turn around to walk back to the front of the bus when I come face to face with the one and only, Peter Parker. Just the person I was avoiding.

"Oh h-hey Hope. Are you ok? J-just cause you haven't really talked to me about the ki-" I take a deep breath and but in before he reminds me of the thing I regret most. Letting him get close to me was a mistake, and I knew it.

I say I regret it. I want to mean it, I really do. But I cant. Every time I think about it my heart breaks a little, knowing I can't have what I want. But I should be used to that by now, shouldn't I?

"I have a lot to do, Peter. We'll talk later though?" I say, hoping to postpone this conversation for as long as possible. His mouth is slightly open before he hastily nods and slides past me. I recompose myself and turn to everyone.

"Ok." I say before reading the questions out to everyone and noting down the ones they got wrong.

When everyone gets tired, I finally sit down by myself and I get my phone out to see how long we have left on the bus ride. When I see we still have thirty minutes left I groan and my head falls back onto my seat.

"You look fed up already. We that bad?" I hear Peters sweet voice say through small laughs. I quickly sit up and look at him.

"Oh. Hey Peter." I say halfheartedly. I avert my eyes to look back out the window hoping he will leave.

"So, can we talk now?" He mutters quietly as if  he didn't want to be heard. I turn to face him and put on a fake smile.

"Sure Peter. What's up?" I gulp as the words exit my mouth, holding back the tears. I don't know why I want to cry right now, but I do.

"Y-you know, about that whole... situation with the kiss." He whispers the last word so quietly it almost wasn't audible. He avoids my eyes as he speaks, stuttering at almost every word. I search his eyes to find an excuse not to say what I'm about to say, but then I remember the look in his eyes when he saw 'her'.

"Don't worry Peter, I know it was a mistake. Let's just forget about it and act like it never happened." I force out. I glare at Liz for the second half of that sentence before turning back to Peter who looks surprised.

"Oh. Um, yeah. I- Ok, well I should- I should go." Peter stutters. He looks at me but I look away quickly. He stands up to move next to Ned but as I clench my fist I hear his voice again, but this time a lot more confident.

"I don't think it was a mistake. I mean, If I could do it again I would. The only thing I would change is to have done it earlier." He says, determination in his voice. I scoff as he sits down next to me, obviously wanting to continue the conversation.

"Don't forget, Peter, you would also change Who it was with." I say sarcastically, trying to hold back the tears. My eyes stay focused on the world going past me outside, god I wish I was out there instead of here right now. I see his eyebrows scrunch in confusion as the words leave my mouth.

"What are you talking about?" He says, pure confusion written across his face. I look around to double check no ones looking then I whisper.

"I saw the way you looked at Liz the other day in the hallway. After that I overheard Liz talking about how I'm not on her level and that you were trying to get with her." I speak quickly as if it would make recalling the memory hurt any less.

Peters eyes widen and I can see his cheeks start to fluster slightly. I scan his face for any sign that what I was saying was wrong but before I could find anything he interrupted me.

"I don't know what Liz was talking about but what you saw in the hall was me looking at the homecoming sign behind her and thinking about taking you. I used to like Liz but when you came into this school, you changed everything for me, I would never have said I liked you if I liked Liz. I'm not like that, you should know that..." he says quickly, as if I was going to disappear any second.

I feel his eyes search mine desperately as I comprehend everything he just said. My heart wants so desperately to believe him, but my brain keeps stopping me.

"I-I don't know what to believe. I trusted you, and from my point of view it looks like you just used me so you could get what you wanted out of me. I'm glad we got interrupted, otherwise I don't know what would of happened." I say, each word hurting me so much more than he would know.

I watch as his jaw locks while sadness and pain fills his chocolate eyes, breaking my heart into little pieces.

"I don't believe you. All of this is just finding an excuse not to let me get close to you. What have I done to show you I can't be trusted. Nothing. Liz may have said some things but that doesn't make them true. so if you want to believe her over me then maybe you're right." My eyes widen at his sudden outburst, I can see the anger and pain in his eyes but they quickly disappear, overtaken by a look of guilt.

If anyone should feel guilty, it's me. I want to tell him that but before I can, he mutters a small apology and gets up, walking over to Ned.