Wished Away : Loki x neutral!reader

23. Maybe I'm Destined to be Evil

After dinner, Loki and you lay in your bed. Instead of watching a movie like you were planning, you two lay in silence as you make small braids in Loki's hair.

Loki has his eyes closed and he stays silent. Quickly, your hands tire so you stop playing with his hair and lean back, closing your own eyes.

"I'm not good enough for you Y/n. You deserve better," he says, after a few minutes, breaking the silence.

"Hmm, I think I'm just fine with you. You are the better I deserve," you respond. You could hear the sadness in his voice, like he thought this was the end—that you would leave him.

He stands sits up and moves to the end of the bed. "I am not. Everyone is right about me. I'm a bad, horrible, person."

"You are good Lok-"

Loki cuts you off, "Y/n, I am the God of Lies. Which practically makes me the God of Evil because I'm a liar. And no good can come from lying."

"But you don't have to be. You don't have to lie. You don't need to listen to a stupid title Odin gave you when you were young. You've grown, you're a good person," you plead.

"I tried to take over New York—Midgard. I wanted to rule it. I killed people." His face crumbles in sadness and anger.

"Stop. You didn't have a choice, stop acting like you did. It's just like how Bucky didn't have a choice."

"I could have fought against it, I'm strong enough. I should have," Loki says, his voice sounding more strained.

"Loki you were injured—you weren't in good health, of course you couldn't have snapped out of it. You were forced to do bad things, but you never went to do them on your own fruition," you respond, slowly going to hug Loki. He hesitates but hugs back. "It's okay to feel bad, and it's normal to blame yourself. I just need you to know that it was never your fault.

"But what if I'm incapable of being good?" Loki whispers.

"You already are, love. You helped Thor and Jane, you've helped the team on missions, and you've helped me by making me the happiest I've ever been. Loki, you aren't bad, and you don't have to be," you answer.

You hadn't realized it until just now, but this is the most you've smiled in years. Maybe it was because your life wasn't filled with a draining and repetitive routine of work anymore, or maybe it was because you finally have real friends. Whatever it is, it's made it to where you haven't felt the need to make a wish since you've got here.

You feel your shoulder start to get wet and you realize that Loki is crying. His shoulders are shaking and you can hear his breath catching.

You hug him tighter and start slowly rocking the two of you back and forth. "Sh sh sh, it's okay. Let it out," you whisper.

After a while he starts calming down, and you slowly lean back on your bed so he's laying on your chest. You two lay there in silence for a long time, probably hours.

"Hey Lokes, do you feel better?"

"Yes, sorry about all this," he replies, his voice tired.

"You don't need to apologize," you say, kissing the top of his head. "You can sleep if you'd like."

"Okay, goodnight Y/n," he mumbles.

"Goodnight Loki, I love you."

"Love you too," Loki responds, sleep causing him to almost slur most of his words.

You stay up until he falls asleep, the rise and fall of your chest seeming to help put him to sleep, and you fall asleep soon after him.

-

a/n: poor loki :[
they're very insecure