Open your eyes

Chapter 5: The game

My hair caress the floor softly as I moved my head from side to side making it roll over the hard ground. My cold legs against the wall, I peel off the black nail polish i applied yesterday. Silence met me in the room when you fell asleep. It arrived later than usually. Probably because you were there. But as soon as it came our routine went on. Chills running down my spine at the creepiness of the night. It was never truly silent in the institute. When no one was having a mental break down, screaming for hours through the entire building, my thoughts made sure to make a little bit of noise. To comfort me. You know it's like when we were little. This little light we turn on because we were scared of the dark. If you think about it, the only thing that reminded us of the monsters is that little light we put on just to push them away. The dark never brought any monsters but the light was comforting. Even if monsters existed, the light would protect us. It's the same thing for me here. Silence won't hurt me, but somehow my painful thoughts felt comforting. If I am already hurt by myself, then nothing and no one can hurt me more right?
« Thinking about me? » your sleepy voice resonated in the room.
I looked up « did I think too hard it woke you up or you have a sixth sens ? »
« The entire institute heard you thinking » you said rolling over the bed to sit up and frowned as you just realized « why are you on the floor? »
« You pushed me off the bed »
« You are such a liar »
I chuckled pushing the peeled nail polish off my chest « I am not a fan of cuddles in bed. We were too close »
« Aren't You tired? »
« I am fine Oliver »
« Call me ollie »
« Keep dreaming oliver »
You looked at me annoyed and I smiled looking back at my nails.
« Why do You hate me? »
« You took the ring away from me » I said lifting my ass from the ground to remove the pain settling in my back. You also pinned me against a wall and tried to intimidate me but.. who's counting.
« It was my mother's one »
« It was mine's too » I looked at you. Your green eyes met mine and I saw the muscles of your face relax through the dark as if you stopped smiling. She was mine too. You shrugged « it's mine »
I scoffed « it doesn't even mean anything to you. » I sat up to face you « you got the clothes, the perfume, the jewelry, the half used shampoo, the old trinkets, the fucking pictures and video tapes. »
« If she loved you so much she would have left something for you »
My breath got caught inside my lungs. What did you say? I felt my jaw clenching and my head burning. It's 2am and I still have to spend 4 hours here trying not to kill you. I shook my head being filled with disgust as I laid down on the floor, my back to you. My forehead hit the cold wall as I closed my eyes and brought my thighs against my belly. I heard you sigh and felt a blanket lay over me.
« Fuck You oliver. » i said yet didn't have the guts to remove the piece of sheet you covered me with. If you only knew I am here because of you.
« Hey.. I am sorry »
I closed my eyes and chose not to answer that.
« come on gina.. »
« You are fucking bipolar »
You sighed again and sat down « I know. I am sorry. Being nice is not my thing »
« Then keep being an asshole away from me »
« I am actually trying to be nice here »
« I am not I am trying to sleep and you won't stop talking » I said.
A huge arm wrapped around me as I felt You against me. Are you spooning me??
« You are so annoying.. »
You nodded « I know » and pulled the sheets over you and stopped moving. Great. You are spooning me. Feeling your heavy and imposing body against and around mine felt annoyingly comforting. More comforting than my thoughts. Maybe that's why they disappeared all of a sudden..
« It's really cold on the floor » You said and I opened my eyes.
« You really won't stop talking will you? »
You smiled. I felt you in the back of my neck « sorry. I'll stop. »
« Good » I whispered.

« Regina enough » Her voice caught me as I gasped and hide the phone I stole from an old man under the blanket.
« Give it to me » she pulled her hand out reaching for the reason I am still not sleeping.
I sighed and laid it in her hand « that's unfair. I don't do anything of all day I am not tired »
« And so when you're not tired you go through the gallery of a phone you stole? »
I shrugged laying down « it fell from his pocket. Technically I just found it »
« Regina for god sake! You are turning 15 next month you can't keep stealing! What if you get caught? Huh? How will I get you out of jail?? They'll put you in the system until you're 18 and you can draw a cross on your future »
I looked at her pouting. I don't like when she grounds me as if I was a child « you could adopt me and I wouldn't be in the system anymore » I talked back.
« You know that won't happen young lady. And you know why » she softly said slipping the phone in her purse « sleep now. I'll come to check on you tomorrow morning around 10 »
I sighed and turned in the bed to face the wall. The silence always felt so heavy in this appartement. I know she is looking at me. Her heels clicked over the floor as I felt her stepping in bed with me. Her caress on my arm felt like a cloud was wrapping me up into a safe bubble. She wrapped her arm around me and I hugged her hand. She must have felt the tiny tear falling over her hand before she laid a kiss in my neck.
« Stay with me tonight. Please » I turned around to burry my face in her chest and hug her. Emily's hand caressed my hair before her fingers tangled in my hair to scratch my skull « I'll stay until you fall asleep » she said as I closed my eyes enjoying her smell. I hate when she does that. It's worst to wake up alone and look for her everywhere before finally remembering it was the deal. You fall asleep with her and wake up alone while she is waking her child up. I hope her son knows how lucky he is. I hope he thanks her every single time she cooks breakfast for him and answer each of her kisses and sweet words. I hope he always tries his best at school to make her proud. I hope he helps her clean up and make her life as simple as possible. I hate him. I hate him so much for taking her away from me every single night. I hate him for being the first thing she thinks about when she wakes up and the last when she falls asleep. I hate him for not being half worth her. I hate him.

Every image She left me with keeps haunting me. I dreamt of her last night. Like every night. The dark curtain covering my eyes slowly got pulled up as I looked around all sleepy. I also looked at you. I turned around in my sleep and you were now holding me as if we were cuddling. I lifted up my head from your chest looking for the alarm clock. It's 7 am. Damn.. I overslept. My knuckles rubbed my tired eyes as my free hand grabbed your arm resting over my hip to lay it on the floor next to you. I yawned and sat down. I am warm and confused as if something was wrapped around my head to overwhelm me with a feeling just as pleasing as irritating. I need to wake up. My legs carried my body to the sink I had in my room. Water splashed against my face and I took a deep breath. My eyes met my reflex in the mirror. Still the same damaged girl. Well.. good morning.
I heard you moving around. You start to wake up. I grabbed my towel and walked outside the room. I still smell like you and I need to take that off. The hallways are weirdly empty.. usually people are rushing to the bathroom. What day are we? Friday. Friday is the visit day.. everyone should be out getting ready. Something is off.
I turned around and pinned the man standing behind me against the wall holding him by the throat. Blood rushed through my veins faster than it should I squeezed the neck of the stranger. « Never stand behind a lady »
The man chuckled. Around 40, half bold with tired features. Rough ones. « Miss Mills »
I tilted my head looking at him « what do you want? »
« I am here for Queen »
I raised an eyebrow to which he answered « it's time darling. The dices were rolled and the game started »
I looked into his eyes and wished I could see his soul leaving his body through them. Someone yelled. A guard probably. They grabbed my arms and pulled me away as the man fixed his suit « see you soon miss Mills » he said and left as I stayed there completely frozen. The game started.

I kneeled down in the snow looking at the roses that bloomed this summer. Her favorite. I closed my eyes feeling the cold air slapping my cheeks as petals fell over my thighs barely covered. « I promise you Emily. I'll save him from the game »