Take My Hand - Kaname x Zero Oneshots

Chapter 13: New Parents!KaZe

Zero walked inside his home, a baby carrier in his arm. He set the carrier down on the counter, carefully unbuckling a small, sleeping child. He grabbed the small girl gently, and held her against his chest, walking into the living room and sitting down, carefully shifting the small child so he was cradling her. He looked at her face, analyzing it. She looked a lot like kaname. Speaking of kaname.. Where was he? Zero thought, his attention suddenly shifting. Suddenly the baby opened her small eyes, looking up at zero. Her eyes were beautiful. They were a dark red, but faded into a lighter purple. She was only a few weeks old, but she already loved attention, especially from kaname. But he was quite withdrawn from her. Zero thinks he's afraid he’ll hurt her. Or maybe he's just nervous about being a father. Whatever the reason is, zero could only hope that he'd at least try and pay attention to her. Zero looked at his daughter, as she squirmed. “Are you hungry, little one?”zero murmured softly to her, keeping his voice low. Just then, the door opened and kaname tossed his keys into the counter. Katherine start crying and squirming, wiggling and kicking zero. Zero tightening his grip on katherine slightly, standing up and holding the crying baby against his chest. Kaname looked at zero, before his eyes ocking on the crying baby. “Did i do that?” kaname asked, as zero nodded briefly. “You just startled her, it's okay.” zero said softly, walking into the kitchen. Kaname followed zero, slipping his arms around his waist and resting his face against zeros shoulder, sniffing softly. “How was work?” “pretty stressful. But I'm here now so I'm good.” Kaname mumbled. Katherine slowly calmed down,staring at kaname. She made a few noise, squirming slightly. Kaname looked over at the child, unsure what to think. Katherine tried to scoot closer to kaname, but zeros hand holding her stopped her. “Kaname, she wants you to hold her.” Zero said, as kaname blinked, taking a small step back. Zero turned, facing kaname. “Kaname, can you please hold your daughter?” zero asked softly, as kaname nervously looked away. Zero sighed quietly. “You don't want to, do you.” Zero half asked, half stated. Kaname, still not looking at zero, slowly nodded. “Its okay, i guess. Will you at least look at her, though? She loves you so much and just wants you to hold her, or at least look at her.” zero said, as kaname nodded. “We’ll continue this conversation when she lays down for a nap.” zero said as he turned around, holding katherine with one hand and using the other hand to make her some beanstalk(its a japanese formula brand? Beanstalk sukoyaka m1) milk. Kaname looked at the small child in zeros arm, who was staring intently at kaname. She seemed fascinated by him. It was.. Kinda cool. After a little bit, zero finished making the baby milk, before cradling katherine. “I'm guessing you dont want to feed her?” zero asked. “I… I could try, if you're willing to help me learn..” Kaname said quietly, as zero turned to look at kaname, a huge smile on his face. “Go sit on the couch, i'll help you.” zero said as kaname quickly nodded, walking over to the couch and sitting down, zero following him and sitting down next to him. “I'm going to set her in your arms, okay? You need to support her head but be careful.” zero explained, as kaname nodded, his eyes locked on the child. Zero carefully handed kaname katherine, as kaname carefully rest his hand on the back of her neck/head/upper back area. Zero smiled. “That's great.” zero said, ahnding kaname the bottle. “Now, carefully set it in her mouth and hold it up, but not too much- ah, no that's a little high, let me help.” Zero said softly, grabbing kanames hand and carefully adjusting the way he held the bottle. “There. Perfect. Now talk quietly, so she'll relax and fall asleep.” zero said, lowering his voice.  Kaname nodded, his eyes locked on the child looking up at him. He felt.. Happy. It was nothing like he had expected. And.. it was beautiful. He could feel her slowly drinking their milk, and he could see her eyes fluttering. He could feel the soft blanket she was wrapped in against his fingers. He could feel and see her chest slowly rising and falling. But most importantly, he saw zero, and himself in her. She was beautiful. She had soft features like zero, but had his dark eyes. Even the purple the red faded into was quite dark. After a small while, katherine had fallen asleep. Kaname carefully moved the bottle and set it beside him, still cradling katherine and watching her. Zero smiled softly, “Shes cute, huh?” He said softly, as kaname blinked and looked up, forgetting zero was there. He seemed to have.. Zoned out. “Yeah..” aname murmured. “Here, I'll lay her down. Or, you can if you'd like.” “I can?” kaname asked softly, as zero smiled and nodded. Kaname carefully stood up, shifting how he was holding katherine, as he placed one of his hands on her back, the other supporting her bottom as he held her against his chest. She squirmed a little, but soon adjusted, and slept soundly. “Let's lay her in her room, okay?” Zero said softly, standing up.Kaname nodded briefly before walking into a room, looking around. The walls were covered in painted butterflies and flowers. There was a changing table and boxes of diapers, and there was also a few containers with toys. Then, he noticed the centerpiece. It was a nicely made wooden cradle, painted white. There was a small mattress inside, and hanging above the cradle was a mobile with small, woodland creatures and flowers. Kaname leaned down, placing his daughter inside the small cradle. She squirmed at the loss of her fathers warmth, and woke up, but slowly stopped, being too tired to fight anything. Her eyes closed back up, and after a few seconds she went still, besides her slowly rising and falling chest. Kaname flinched when he felt a hand slide into his. He looked over at zero, who was looking at Katherine and smiling. Kaname squeezed Zero's hand lightly, holding onto it, still looking at the small child himself. Zero let go of kanames hand, turning away, as kaname looked up at him and turned as well, to look at zero. Zero grabbed kanames hand again, walking out of the room and dragging him with, gently shutting the door. “We need to let her sleep, kaname.” zero said as kaname blinked. “Oh yeah, right.” Zero dragged kaname into their room, sitting him down, before sitting down next to him. “Now, we need to talk.” Zero said, as kaname gulped softly. “I wanted to know why you don't want to be involved with our daughter's life. And i want the truth, kaname.” Zero said as kaname shifted slightly. Zero sighed softly. “Kaname, you can tell me.” Zero said softly, as Kaname shook his head lightly, concerning zero even more. “Kaname, you know you can trust me.” Zero grabbed kanames hands in his. “I'm your husband. And I want to help you. Please, kaname, help me understand.” Zero said softly. “I don't know, really. I just.. I don't want to hurt her, and.. I'm kinda scared about it. I'm not used to being around kids. What if I slip up and.. And I hurt her..? I-i don't want that to happen..” Kaname murmured, his voice dying out. Zero's expression softened. “Kaname, it's okay. I know you've been working really hard on controlling your impulsiveness and aggression. And you're doing great. I don't have a doubt in my mind that you'll be a great father. All that matters is that when she looks at you, she sees her father that she just wants attention from.” Zero said softly, as Kaname stared down at the floor. “But- i just- i could do so much better..! I still feel so..so dirty. I just.. Don't feel like I'm good enough to be a father. And she looks so nice.. And-and i just can't keep my mind off the fact, what if i can't break the cycle..?” Kaname muttered, thinking about his past.(In this, Kaname's father was abusive and absent basically. No, this isn't canon) Zero moved his hands, wrapping them around Kaname and pulling him against his chest. Kanames shoulder rested against Zero's chest(he was sitting sideways when zero pulled him over), as he sniffled softly. Zero carefully turned Kaname around so he was facing him, as he hugged him, his arms around kanames neck. Kaname sniffed softly again as he hesitated, before carefully placing his arms around Zeros upper chest/upper torso, his hands resting on Zeros shoulder blades, as he held tightly onto the back of Zeros shirt, trying not to cry. Zero gently began to run his fingers through kanames hair, talking softly to him. “It's okay, kaname. Just let it all out, you're okay. I'm right here.” Kanames grip on zeros shirt tightened, as he pulled himself closer to his lover. Zero carefully moved his arms, pulling Kaname onto his lap, before placing his arms around Kanames neck again, gently running his fingers through his hair and murmuring soothing assurances into his ear. Kaname felt the tears sting his eyes, and slowly roll down as he hid his face in zeros shoulder. 

Once kaname was calmed down, he actually fell asleep on zeros lap. Zero however was awake, humming softly and playing with his husband's hair. After about an hour, kaname woke up, stretching and yawning. “Good afternoon, my big sunshine.” Zero said with a soft laugh, as Kaname huffed and looked up at zero, placing a soft kiss to his neck. “Hey, baby. Did Katherine wake up at all?” “Nope, she's still napping. How did you sleep? Are you feeling better?” Zero asked, as Kaname shrugged lightly. “I slept fine. And yeah, I'm feeling better.” “Good, because I have to go to the store and you're staying here with our lovely daughter.” zero said, as kaname blinked, looking up at zero. “Do you..do you think i'm ready?” Kaname asked slowly, as zero smiled warmly. “Of course. Katherine loves you! She just wants you to pay attention to her. Just make sure to feed her every like 3 hours, although it shouldn't take me that long. Once she wakes up, feed her, and then sit with her. You'll be fine.” Zero assured, as Kaname huffed softly. “Okay..” Kaname mumbled, as zero smiled, pressing a kiss against Kanames forehead. “Thanks, sunshine.” zero said with a grin. 

Zero had already left, and Katherine was crying. Kaname was feeling tired as shit, as he watched the small child on her back, screaming and kicking, wearing only her diaper and a pacifier on the ground beside her. He already had fed her, he already changed her diaper, so what more could she want!? Kaname turned away from her, as she started screaming louder. Kaname groaned loudly. He turned back to face her, trying to think of what to do.  He remembered hearing Zero say something about skin to skin contact. He wasn't quite sure what that was. He grabbed his phone, googling what it was, trying to ignore the screaming child beside him. ‘Skin to skin contact is a way mothers or fathers create a deep bond with their newborns.' He read a little more into it before setting his phone aside and yanking off his t-shirt, stretching lightly. He carefully picked up his daughter, laying down on the couch and resting his daughter down on his chest, feeling her soft skin press against his own. She squirmed, gently trying to lift her head. Kaname placed his hands on the baby's bottom and back, as she slowly stopped crying, shifting and squirming a little, trying to look at her father. Finally, she got in the right position to look at her father. She stopped squirming, just laying on kanames chest and looking at him. Kaname gently rubbed her back, as he felt the small child relax under his touch. His heart melted. She was so cute. After about 10 minutes, both kaname and katherine had fallen asleep on the couch. A few minutes later, zero walked in the door, bags lining his arms as he set them down slowly, looking around for his family. He noticed the top of kanames head on the couch, as he walked over, smiling softly when he spotted Katherine cuddled up on kanames chest, both of them sleeping soundly. He placed a soft kiss on each of their foreheads.

A/N
Okay so I kinda lost the will to write this I tried to bring it back and I'm happy with the chapters I added but this isn't working for me. I hope to see you at my next story! Considering yall were fed until October(this month) I don't wanna hear shit from yall I pushed myself really hard for this so ion wanna hear any complaining. I'm glad I wrote this but I can't do it anymore </3 I might write a bonus chapter here and there if I get a block but idk. I'll see you sometime, readers. Thank you for joining me on this journey.

-T the author, signing off.