triggers: mentions of bad childhood, school, curse words words: 985
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Nolan knew a handful of things. He knew he loved hockey, that he loved his friends and teammates, he loved his dog, he loved his family, and he knew that you were one of the most amazing people he's ever had the pleasure to meet.
Nolan knows as much about your life as you want him to. He knows your favorite superhero, and he knows the first movie you remember seeing in the theatres as a kid. Nolan knows your food preferences and he knows your favorite song. He knows you.
But he doesn't know you.
Having only been together for just a few months, he still has a lot to figure out. Like what your favorite childhood pet's name was, or your deepest fear. He wants to know why you don't like the color green and if you want kids or not. Nolan wants to know you, but you don't know if you're ready for that.
You'd invited him over after his game. You haven't done that before, invite him over. It was a step in the right direction, you thought to yourself. You needed to be the one to initiate things in the relationship too, not just Nolan. You didn't want to be in a one-sided relationship.
But giving was a hard thing to do. It was hard to give when you felt like there wasn't anything in your life to give. You wanted to impress Nolan with...something. But what? You didn't think you had much to offer. Maybe the evening at your place would be good enough. Maybe...
"Hey," Nolan greeted as he walked in through the door that you left unlocked for him. Giving Nolan a warm smile you offer him a hug which he takes. Normally he would hug you back pretty snug, but given he just played through a very physical game, he didn't feel like giving tight hugs at the moment.
"Congrats on your win, you played well." You mumbled, rubbing your hand up and down his back softly. He thanked you and then moved ahead of you to sit on your couch. Following him, you sit on the cushion next to him and fold your legs behind you.
"I uh, I haven't ordered anything in. Have you eaten yet? I thought about getting something but then I figured I would wait for you," You rambled, playing with the drawstrings of your hoodie. Nolan gives you a small grin with a breathy chuckle and rests his head on the cushion behind him, turning his head to face you.
"They feed us after the games but if you want to go ahead and call something in that's fine with me. You don't have to plan around me or anything," Nolan replied, resting his hand on your thigh. It was a simple action but Nolan could tell it caught you off guard.
He didn't want to bring it up or make you uncomfortable by any means, but he couldn't help but let his mind wander. Did he do something wrong to make you act this way? Nolan might not have had the best luck with dating and relationships, but he's had enough experience to know when someone is uncomfortable around him.
"Are you feeling okay?" He asked, turning his head once more to look over at you as you watched the movie on the television. Your breath hitched, you had a million answers to this question.
You simply nodded your head and continued focusing on the movie, "thank you for asking though." You tried to make it seem like you were doing fine. Maybe it was convincing enough.
"I don't think you are okay, though." He said, grabbing the remote from where it sat next to you, pausing the movie. He set his hand on top of yours trying to get your attention. Instead, you kept your gaze forward, knowing that if you did look at him you'd probably break down.
"You don't have to tell me specifically, but I just...I can tell when people are feeling off. I want you to be okay."
You don't know why this was so surprising to you. On the first few dates with Nolan, he showed his personality. Little by little you got to know him better. He wasn't this dark and mysterious or cold man everyone thought he was. He was warm, light, and interesting. He cared for everyone around him, romantically or not.
He wanted his friends to be okay. He wanted you to be okay.
Getting up from the couch you walk into the kitchen, avoiding the conversation you open up your fridge to see...to see what? Nolan closes the refrigerator door with a thud, standing in front of you.
"Look- I'm not saying you have to tell me what's going on in the pretty mind of yours, but it's not healthy to keep it all inside you." Hopping up onto the counter you refused to look him in the eyes. But it was so hard not to.
His hands were resting on your sides carefully as he waited. He waited for you to say something first, for you to make the first move. He waited.
"I guess...I guess all I have to say is that I don't want to let you down. I know you think I'm this amazing, awesome person when I'm not. If I let you down I don't mean to." You breathed out, looking down at the ground beneath you. Nolan places his hands on your cheeks and presses a kiss to your forehead softly.
Wrapping his bigger arms around your body he carefully gave you a warm hug. A hug that you needed, very much. You slowly wrapped your arms around his body too, taking in a deep breath and closing your eyes.
