I never thought we could be together [Cockles]

Chapter 11

Two weeks had passed. Misha was desperately trying to forget Jensen. He truly was. Buy apparently it was beyond his power. Endless images of him were literally haunting Misha during days and nights. The worst part always came at night when he was trying to get some sleep. Every time he closed his eyes, he would feel Jensen's hands on him, his soft kisses covering his body just like he was in that hotel room in Rome again. Misha couldn't bear it. He knew it wasn't real, he knew he was only fantasizing about it but he wasn't able to shake it off because it felt so natural. Misha was longing to see him again, hear him, touch him, feel him. It was all that Misha wanted in his life. But then he remembered how all this dream had been ruined, how betrayed he felt and it kept him going for awhile. But, of course, it wouldn't last so long and Misha would want nothing but Jensen again.

He was infatuated. Misha knew it now. And there was no way to escape. In one of those night he realized that he would always love Jensen, no matter what the other had done or would do.
It was a summer hiatus and they didn't have to see each other every day and Misha was glad. He needed to stay away from Jensen as long as possible. But, as always, everything didn't go the way Misha wanted it to.

One day he woke up around afternoon, feeling not so good because his thoughts of Jensen couldn't let him sleep properly again. Vicki was already up, cooking lunch. Once Misha entered the kitchen, she smiled shyly.

"You look exhausted," she admitted, "couldn't sleep again?"

The concern in her voice was clear and this made Misha feel somewhat guilty. He had everything in his life to be happy; some people were only dreaming about having at least a small part of what he had already had. But everything that Misha wanted was only one particular person and nothing else.

"Yeah," Misha said quietly.

"Wanna talk about it?"

Misha almost said yes. He wanted to take off this emotional weight that had been put on him so badly but at the same time he couldn't tell Vicki. He didn't want her to feel betrayed just like he did.

He approached and took her hand, "I don't want to talk about it, I'm sorry."

"Okay. I won't insist," she said, smiling.

Misha felt that hint of guilt again. She was worried about him while he was being a selfish jerk.

"How's Jensen by the way? You two used to hang out even on a hiatus," she asked innocently.

Misha felt that his heart skipped a beat. He wasn't ready that Vicki would mention him; it caused his chest to hurt again.

He awkwardly cleared his throat before answering, "He's been busy lately. You know, interviews, preparations for the next season and stuff." Misha hoped he sounded persuasively enough.

"Yeah, about that," Vicki said with a grin; she was clearly hiding something from him. Vicki let go of his hand and brought her laptop.

"What is it?" Misha asked, confused.

"Just watch." And with that she clicked on the video.

An image of Jensen appeared on the screen and Misha felt that he wasn't able to force himself to look away from the laptop. He just sat in the chair, frozen, because Jensen was truly stunning; he was telling an interviewer something about the show but Misha barely caught a word - he was too focused on capturing every Jensen's feature. Moreover, Misha completely forgot about Vicki's presence who was staring at him. She had already been suspecting for a long time that something was going on between two men but now, sitting there and watching Misha with her own eyes, she got all sorted out. Especially when she saw her husband's reaction to Jensen's confession which he had made looking right into the camera.

"I love you Misha. I mean, honestly, it's you know, from the bottom of my heart that I say that. Seriously, it's not stopping."

There was silence after those words. Misha suspected it was Vicki who pressed the pause button but it was, in fact, the end of the video. At first Misha thought that he had misheard something or it was his mind playing with him again because Jensen couldn't really say that, could he? Misha couldn't take it, he couldn't believe it was true. Jensen was playing with him. But then he remembered what kind of human Jensen really was: shy and genuine. He wouldn't say a thing unless he did indeed mean it. And that gave Misha so much hope, he could feel his heart bumping in his chest so loudly, it could've just jumped out of his body.

Vicki reached out and took Misha's hand in hers, "Whatever happened between you two, it all will be fine. Just don't push him away, he has already proved you he loves you and even he did it through the social media which means he has nothing to lose. I never thought Jensen could do that, he's always stayed out of any internet and media stuff and look what he did for you now. Give him a chance, he looks just as miserable as you are. You're lost and broken without each other, that's just stupid."

Misha looked at his wife surprised and kinda terrified but all he saw in her eyes was concern. Somehow she knew about him and Jensen, Misha was sure, and apparently she didn't mind at all which had made her the best wife in the world.

"But how did you know?" Misha whispered.

"I can read you like an open book, remember? Besides, all your emotions always have been showing on your face. You're in love with him, it's obvious. So why are you still sitting here, huh?"

"He was actually the one who messed things up so I'm not gonna go anything about it." Misha said, matter-of-factly.

Vicki opened her mouth to tell him he was wrong but Misha's phone beeped. It was a text from Jensen: "We need to talk, Misha. Please, just give me a chance to explain everything."

"See?" Vicki said, smiling, "Go and talk to him. Make things right."

"But..."

"Go, I won't disappear anywhere. And no, I'm not judging you, all I want for you is to be happy and the only person you can absolutely be happy with is Jensen, so go and get him."

"Thank you," Misha said sincerely. He kissed Vicki and hugged her tight, "I love you too, you know?" He whispered.

"I know, dummy," Vicki laughed.

Misha grabbed his phone to send text to Jensen: "Meet me at 7 in the park."

Even ten seconds hadn't passed when his phone beeped in his hand again, "Deal."

"Maybe things weren't that bad after all," Misha thought.
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P.S. Jensen's words about "I love you, Misha..." were taken from that famous MTV video, you can easily find it on you tube if you haven't watched it yet :))