I never thought we could be together [Cockles]

Chapter 4

Next morning Jensen woke up in a shitty mood. He had a kind of insomnia because all his thoughts were about that Destiel crap and he just couldn't stop thinking about it. The first thought after him being completely awake was that he still didn't talk to Danneel about it and that fact made his mood even shittier. He lazily rolled out of the bed in his trailer and looked at his watch. It was 6 in the morning. He groaned because he couldn't call his wife that early so he had to wait until night for the Skype time with her. Jensen looked through the script of their scenes with Jared they were supposed to be filming in the first day. There was nothing hard in acting for Jensen in upcoming scenes but some parts were going to be hard for Jared because he would have to face demon!Dean for the first time and show around all heartbreak his character felt because of it.

"Jared is a brilliant actor and he'll manage to do it in the best way," Jensen thought, "while I'm gonna screw up even these easy scenes."

Jensen was beyond glad Misha wasn't in the first episode because his presence would make it all even more difficult until he would have a chance to talk to Danneel and discuss everything.

He walked out of the trailer and found smiling Jared outside of his own one.

"Hey, dude," Jared greeted warmly, "Erm, to be honest, you don't look very good," the taller actor pointed out, "What happened? Did you talk to Misha yesterday?"

"Yeah, I did. We're good now I guess but I should talk to Danneel first just to be sure she doesn't mind."

"I really hope she does though," Jensen added mentally.

"Okay, good," Jared grinned, "But why you look that shitty then?"

"I barely slept this night because I can't stop thinking of all this Destiel thing. I don't know what's wrong with me. It's just a kiss, nothing more. I've kissed numerous times in my life, does that make any difference who I'm going to kiss this time, a woman or a man? It obviously doesn't but something deeply inside stops me from doing it. I'm afraid of something and I don't know what it is," Jensen blurted out all his thoughts and looked at Jared with a terrified expression on his face. Jared just smirked in return, obviously trying to hide his laugh.

"What so funny?" Jensen asked, trying to remember if he said something that might've caused laugh.

"I just thought what if you have feelings for Misha and this scares the hell out of you to do something intimate with him so you're afraid you won't be able to stop doing it in the future?" Jared thought for a few second at what he had said and started to laugh again.

"W-what?" Jensen asked, shocked, "Jared, are you high or something? How could you possibly think that? I have a wife and a child and I'm happy with my family. What was all that about?"

"Just remember my words in the future," Jared chucked and went into make-up trailer, leaving Jensen with still shocked expression on his face.

-----

All their scenes with Jared went surprisingly okay that day. Thoughts about Destiel had tried to crawl into Jensen's mind but he fought them and didn't let in.

"I suppose my professionalism won't last long enough so I'll give up someday and screw up everything..." Jensen thought, entering his trailer.

He was exhausted and all that he wanted to do was go and sleep all his tiredness and worries off. But Jensen had to do one thing first. With a heavy sigh he turned on his laptop and dialed Danneel on Skype.

"Hey, honey, how was your day?" Danneel smiled.

"Hey, babe, it was pretty good, how was yours?" Jensen answered, way too sadly.

Danneel narrowed her eyes a little to look better through a web camera, trying to figure out whether something bad had happened to her husband or not, "Jensen, what's wrong? Something happened?"

He let out a sigh, "Not really, I just need to talk to you."

Danneel's face relaxed a little, "I'm listening."

"Look, there's one thing about this season we're filming. The writers, they..." Jensen stopped talking, not knowing how to tell his wife about it.

"Come on, Jensen, what scares you that much? It's just the show, what could writers make you to do which is that disturbing for you?"

Jensen rubbed his face with his hands. He didn't know he looked so obvious and easy readable.

"Destiel," he let out the word he had started to hate already, "Dean and Cas need to kiss, it's one possible way to cure demon!Dean."

Danneel just laughed in response.

"What?" Jensen asked, stunned. It was far from a response he was waiting for, "What are you laughing at?"

"Nothing, just you should know that I don't mind about it," his wife smiled widely and slyly, causing Jensen to be even more curious.

"But..." he started but then he heard JJ crying.

"Sorry, honey, I gotta go and calm her down. Don't worry about Destiel, just do your job, I don't mind about your kiss with Misha at all. Bye," and with that Danneel hung up, leaving Jensen sat shocked in front of his laptop.