what i never talked about

Present

I mean, don't get me wrong, I was still broken, sad and grieving because my brother died a few hours before, but in that moment, I knew I was alive. I knew that I was going to have a future.

It's been a week since I told my story and the first day in a long row that the weather is good again. I called my son over to drive me to the graveyard. It's long overdue that I have visited my husband, my brother and my son.

There were two gravestones. The smaller one said:

In memory of

Jack Dawson

17. 3. 1892 – 15. 4. 1912

The second one said:

In memory of

Harold Godfrey Lowe

Com. R.D. R.N.R

21. 11. 1882 – 12. 05. 1944

Flight Sergeant Pilot

William Harold Lowe

VC DFM RAFVR

31. 6. 1921 – 13. 8. 1943

Except for the early death of my first son and of my beloved husband my life couldn't have turned out better. I started earning money from my drawings and I started wearing lady-like clothes, which I didn't like much at first, but I got used to it pretty fast.

When Harold and I arrived in Wales again, we looked for a cheap house and got a proper engagement with ring and all. I always told him that I wouldn't need any object that would prove how much he loved me. Shortly after that I met his family. They weren't necessarily enthusiastic about our relationship and the wedding because they thought we would get ourselves into marriage too fast. Well, no. We got married on the 18th of July 1913 and were happily married for just over 30 years.

Our first child was born in 1916, shortly before the first World War ended. We named our daughter Martha Rosalie Lowe, but were only calling her Mary. She now lives with her husband Jacob, with whom she has two children, Howard and Sandra, in London.

Two years later Elizabeth Jane Lowe was born. But we mainly called her Betty. She married a banker named James Reed, with whom she has three children: Sarah, James and Veronica.

In 1921 our brave son William Harold Lowe was born and ripped out of life only 22 years later by a plane crash. Bill, as we called him, joined the Royal Air Force very early. He was a great pilot and would've made it far if there wasn't the incident in 1943.

And lastly, Jack Dawson Lowe was unexpectedly born in 1932. I never really knew why I didn't name my first son after my brother, but I always talked myself into the reason that I just wasn't ready. Jack married a nurse named Rosalie – ironically everybody called her Rose – who passed away due to cancer in 1970. Still, they have two children together: Paul and Julia.

After Titanic sunk, I never heard of Rose again, but as far as I know she married, had a couple kids and lived happily ever after.

I felt a hand on my shoulder: "Mum?"

I slowly turned around. "Yes, Jack, dear?"

"Since it's your 94th birthday today we got you a gift."

"We? I only see you, Jack."

"Then you should maybe go and get your eyesight checked", I heard my daughter's voice, and she hugged me.

"Mary", I whispered and kissed her cheek.

When we pulled away from the hug, I saw my whole family standing behind Jack. Betty and James with Sarah, James and Veronica. Mary's husband Jacob with Howard and Sandra. And Paul and Julia.

"So, mum, here's the gift we got for you", Jack said and gave me a drawing folder. "Open it."

I opened the folder and nearly let it fall out of my hands. It contained my drawings, which were recovered from the wreck of Titanic.

I started crying and all of them walked to me and hugged me. I didn't think I would ever see the drawings again. When they let me go, I kneeled down to the grave.

My story is told and soon I'll have to make place for a new one to be told.

I am Kathy Lowe and this was the story of my life.