Veins and Wires // Peter Parker

Tours and Detours

"I knew you were rich but this rich?!"

"Well legally I own nothing but thankfully, Pepper is merciful," I reminded, chilling on the couch next to Peter with my legs rested out on his lap as Ned whipped his head around, trying to take in everything.

"Are you okay or is this another 'Ned aneurism?'" I asked, tilting my head as he freaked out.

"I'm fine, I'm fine, I'm totally fi- wow you have a lot of books and...is that a picture of all the Avengers at a restaurant?" Ned pointed out, walking towards one of my many bookcases and lifted up the picture making me turn and smile at the memento.

"Oh yeah, we went to a Shawarma place after the Battle of New York. Most boring hour of my life," I shuddered at the memory of the constant chewing in complete silence.

"That's so cool," he muttered staring at the picture in a trance. "What are you like twelve in this? But that's impossible right? I mean the attack was like ten years ago?"

"Oh no, I was seven," I corrected casually and he snapped his head back to me.

"Wait you were, you were seven?! You were seven when you started fighting?!" I burst out laughing  at his absurd questions.

"Of course not, Ned," I chuckled making him visibly relax. "I was fighting bad guys since I was one."

"WHAT?!"  Ned yelled out in shock looking at me and then at Peter. "Did you know about this?"

"Yeah we talked about it," Peter answered calmly turning his head slightly to look at him.

"How are you not horrified?!"

"Oh I was and still am but we had a long talk about it. Literally. It was over four hours," Peter replied, remembering the horrified feelings that came with that conversation.

"Yeah, healthy communication, dude," I added, fist bumping each other.

"How...how do you even fight at one year old?"

"Oh well, my prototype body was set at about 10 years old so my missions were usually taking down sex traffickers, kidnappers, pedos, you know that sort of thing. I did that till I was five and started to work full-time at Stark Industries and did that until Nicholas recruited me and my father and then boom, I was an Avenger. Well until I got kidnapped by my crazy, murderous brother, Ultron that my father created because he was a dumbass. I was forced into retirement after Sokovia and went back to Stark Industries, occasionally coming back for missions that I was needed in."

"Blah blah, Secretary Ross is an asshole and all governments suck, they proposed the Accords which were the dumbest things I have ever read but was forced by my father to fight with him and yes, I'm a little bitter at Peter for blinding following my father who was in the wrong. I secretly helped Wanda help Steve get to the plane to save Bucky and made sure no one knew about and sure that was selfish to let them go to jail but there was literally nothing I could do then. Sorta helped Nat break them out of jail and hacked multiple jail cells but you didn't here that from me. Blah blah, Peter and I were stuck together, blah blah I got stuck with him as a partner and now we're here," I rushed out before taking a deep breath. "I think that's it but then again my mind is literally crumbling so what do I know?"

Ned stared at me, appalled, as Peter sat there having already heard the same monologue but in further detail a year ago.

"That is...I don't even... know if there's a word to describe...how horrifying that is..."

"Perfectly aware, Ned, thank you."

"What do you mean by a 'prototype body?'"

"I mean what I said. It was a prototype...body with incredibly weak skeleton and infrastructure. Ugh, I hated that one. I had it about a few years until I got an upgrade and then when I turned seven I got a vibranium skeleton and looked twelve like in the picture. Then when I was actually twelve my body was lengthened, skin changed and boom, I was 15. Then I died and now I look 18," I elaborated calmly as he stared at me.

"How-how many bodies have you had...?

"Wha- I... do the math, Ned. I can't do everything for you," I contended, giving him a look and shaking my head.

"Sorry, sorry...geez..." he mumbled, finally setting the picture frame down. "So who's Nic..." Ned trailed off looking at Peter, frantically shaking his head and doing a slicing motion with his hand near his neck. "....holas...?"

"He's an asshole who I aspire to slaughter and watch his blood splatter on the walls by my ha-!" I shouted, getting louder with each word until the lightbulb above us popped and exploded.

"I'm sorry I asked," Ned mumbled, backing away even further from me.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry. I just... really hate that guy. With every fiber of my being," I declared for the nth time as Peter rubbed my arm comfortingly.

"I know, I know," Peter consoled, calming me down gradually.

"But who is Nicholas?!"

"Nick Fury, you dumbass!" I exclaimed, throwing my hands up in aggravation, pushing Peters hand off my shoulder. "Context clues, man! Use them!"

"Nick, Nick Fury? That's who were talking about?! You know Nick Fury?! She knows Nick Fury?!" Ned hissed in disbelief, starting another Ned aneurism as he looked back and forth between Peter and I.

"Know him? He ruined my life Ned! He used a dead man to manipulate me into fighting aliens in New York City and then forced me back into a soldier!"

"He used a what?!"

"Yeah, Ned. A dead man. His dead partner that he had known for years too," I emphasized, smiling sarcastically.

"I can see why you want to murder him now," Ned noted, still in shock.

"Slaughter. I want to slaughter him," I corrected with a straight face.

"Is there a difference?"

"To her? Yes," Peter chimed in with an equally straight face. Ned opened his mouth but Peter stopped him before he could ask. "It's more bloody and much more terrifying." Ned stared at us for a moment in silence.

"I suddenly feel very unsafe," he expressed.

"You get used to the feeling," Peter assured making me whip my head towards him.

"You feel unsafe with me?" I emphasized in disbelief.

"You literally terrify me," Peter admitted.

"Aww..." I sighed putting my heart on my chest before kissing him lovingly, hearing Ned groan in abhorrence. "If you don't like it, you can leave! But just so you know I have an at-home theater right upstairs," I offered after separating from Peter.

"Again, how are you this rich?!"

"I know, I'm amazing aren't I?" I gloated, watching Ned practically hover towards the spiral staircase like a cartoon character. "What do you guys want to watch?"

"What about Stars Wa-?"

"I will murder you, Ned. Don't think I won't."