If You Think I'm Gonna Come Up With A Title For This, You're Dead Wrong

Chapter 17

"I can't."

You are delirious. You feel it, anyway; the rushing of blood to your head, how light your voice sounds, how hard it was to climb out and how hard it is to rationalize what hell you just heard. Your heart is pounding, your hands are shaking. Are you sure it is not a result of the drugs? No. Are you sure it is not helped by the bombshell just dropped on you? Yes.

"Why not?"

"Because," you laugh, running your hands through your hair with just a bit of delirium in your voice, "i-it is going to get you and I killed, Donnie."

Sitting on a swivel chair in his lab and watching you pace, he is not sure how to feel. You are not rejecting him. That alone is enough to confuse him, but your reaction now is making his head as messy as yours. "Wait," he puts his hand up, "I'm confused."

You turn to look at him. "It's not rocket science."

"But you're not rejecting me."

"Oh, of course not," you wave it off. "I've had a thing for you for months, but that's not the point."

His eyes widen. "I think it should be."

"I don't."

"But I do." He hops off, trying not to openly freak out again for his brothers' sleep's sake. "I think that is the quintessential point, actually."

"How is that more important than the practicalities of a relationship between us?"

He fights the urge to grin. "Because you like me."

"Like's a weak word for it." You stop pacing for a moment. "You've seen me at my weakest. I let you see me at my weakest." The words spill from your mouth quickly. "Your mind is as beautiful as your smile and I care for you deeply, but that means nothing right now," you do not meet his eyes, "because the most relevant thing— stop smiling, this is serious— is that having a relationship with you creates a massive risk for the both of us, especially you, given your line of work and you seem to be completely ignoring that."

It is hard not to smile. It is equally hard to truly consider the implications of your words when you are actively saying that you... well, he is not sure exactly what you are saying, other than that you like him more than just as a friend. "You more than like me?"

You stare at the wall. "I'm not going to be responsible for getting you hurt more than you will be already."

He walks around so he can see your face, trying to keep it together. "But I don't care about that."

"What if I do?" You shoot a glare at him, your face stained a gorgeous shade of red as you try to will him to take this seriously. "What if I care about your safety, that I might be the jackass who gets you in a bad situation.?"

'Huh?' He purses his lips. "What sort of bad situation?"

"Holding me for ransom comes to mind." You cross your arms tightly. "Hurting me to get to you guys, luring you into a trap. Karai knows where I live."

'"If that's a concern," he reasons, taking a step towards you, "then just because we aren't together doesn't make that less of a threat."

"How so?"

"I care about you regardless." He takes another step.

"But—"

"If anything," he walks over to properly meet your flickering gaze, "us being in contact with one another more frequently will reduce the chances of one of us being kidnapped."

Your voice does in your throat. He is very close. "W-well," you still avoid his eyes, "that doesn't mean the idea of a romantic partnership doesn't present its risks."