𝗡𝗲𝗲𝗱 𝗬𝗼𝘂 𝗡𝗼𝘄 🤍

•𝗣𝗶𝗰𝘁𝘂𝗿𝗲 𝗣𝗲𝗿𝗳𝗲𝗰𝘁 𝗣𝗮𝗶𝗻•

A/N: Flashbacks in italics.

•🍂•

Nikki's POV, 24th February 2008

The last couple of weeks have been relatively uneventful, we've been recording demos like there's no tomorrow, we've only got two left now until we can cut a few songs and pick the final songs to record for the album.

The title track for the album was a must have on there, as soon as I thought of the line 'Saints of Los Angeles' I knew it had to be the title of the next album, it just fitted perfectly in my opinion.

This album is heavily autobiographical and links in nicely with our book 'The Dirt', granted that came out like six years ago but oh well, better late than never.

The song demos we'd done so far were pretty good, I was incredibly happy with how they were turning out, we had a day off today though which was both good and bad.

It was bad because I had literally fuck all to do and it was good because it saved me from having to be around Tommy, every time I see him it gets harder and harder to look at him and not kiss him and ruin everything.

It's driving me insane.

I was just sat in my bedroom right now, I'm my bed I had been writing another song, not sure for what yet but I have one in the works- I'd hit a lyrical brick wall though because as I was digging through my bedside drawer for a new pen after my current one ran out on me I came across something that made me lose my trail of lyrics- basically I had a selection of pictures of Tommy and I in my bedside drawer, why exactly? I'm not sure but they've just accumulated there over the years.

The second I saw one of them I just couldn't write anymore all I could think about was Tommy.

I haven't looked through these pictures in a while so why I'd chosen to do so now is beyond my capability, all I knew is that I'm looking back on times where my life was so much better than it is now, pushing aside the fact that most of these photos were either in the middle of my addiction or at the start of it.

Looking back through these good or not though made me want to pick up the phone and call him, so so fucking bad.

I'd gathered all the pictures up in my hand from out the drawer and was holding them in a pile in my hand going through them one by one remembering the memory behind each one, there was a couple of pictures before Tommy and I got romantically involved with each other at our early concerts and what not, the good old days.

There was some I'd taken from our first few dates, some just of Tommy and some of the two of us, one I came across was a picture I took of both of us laying in bed together, we were pulling faces and were naked from what I could see, I can't remember exactly when that was morning or night but I can practically see it wasn't long after we'd had sex with one another, we both just looked like that, that untidy, vaguely sweaty look... that and I think I could see an open bottle of lube on Tommy's bedside table.

There was a couple taken on our first anniversary in '85, that I'd labelled, I actually remembered this night, it was special and it always would be to me but it wasn't that picture I stopped and thought about for some reason, it was the next one that did that.

It was a picture taken of Tommy and I from what was dated as 8th of February 1986 which had been Vince's 25th birthday party. It was a good night, this picture was snapped by Vince as we were just chatting with him, he had it around his neck and just photographed us, he then gave it to me a couple of weeks later after he got it developed.