FRIENDS

13

The two days after I'd gone on my date with Alex, the boys were busy in the studio and Lacey wasn't really answering her phone, so I just hung out with him more. He'd called me almost instantly after he'd gotten off work that afternoon and had picked me up to go to a movie in the Grove, then had taken me for ice cream. I'd gotten home that night around the same time as the boys and it was slightly awkward, just for a moment until Alex drove away.

The next day, he took me to Disneyland.

"It's a place everybody has to go at least once. I have an annual pass even, I love it so much." He explained as we drove towards Anaheim. He was adorable and I loved being around him. I always felt happy and there was absolutely no confusion. Alex was very clear that he liked me and I think that was what I needed.

I had no idea what Michael felt, and even Ashton had hid his feelings from me for years. I liked that Alex was open about everything.

We hadn't had sex since that first night, but I was okay with that. Being around him was fun. Going to the movies and throwing popcorn at each other. Going to Disneyland and holding his hand and screaming on Space Mountain. Taking pictures with Disney princesses.

We had kissed a lot, though. Kissing him made my stomach turn and it was different than anything I'd felt before. I hadn't liked Austin at all, so this feeling hadn't existed. I'd only ever cared about Michael and the way he made me feel was different. Even when Michael and I had been drunk and kissing, I'd felt anxious and unsure about it all.

I hadn't told Michael and Ashton that I'd slept with Alex, but I had told Luke and Calum. They'd been their typical selves about it, patting me on the back and congratulating me for finally getting some action, but we had agreed that not telling the other two was for the best. Michael got jealous, and Ashton was better off not knowing. He may accept the idea of him and I not being together, but I didn't need to tell him about the sex I was having. I'm sure Michael had even come to his own conclusions. I had come home at four in the morning, he had to have some idea of what I'd been doing.

Both nights I came home and watched that stupid anime with him before we fell asleep together. The stupid show made him so damn happy, there was no way in hell I could ask him to watch something else.

I lived in a permanent state of confusion. I knew there was too much going on. I was already confused about everything with Michael, I already had to deal with everything with Ashton. Adding Alex into the mix was a bad idea. There wasn't a single thing about it that was good. It was like adding an extra corner to our little fucked up love triangle, if I could even call it that. Now we had like, a love square.

Could I call it a love triangles if feelings weren't mutual for all parties involved?

I wasn't really sure.

 

On the third day, Michael woke me up with a grin on his face. We'd fallen asleep early the night before; he'd been exhausted from working hard in the studio and I'd been dead tired from trekking around Disneyland the day before. Seeing him wide awake and full of life made me smile instantly.

"Why are you so happy?" I asked, my voice still hoarse with sleep. He was leaning on one arm to prop himself up in the bed. He'd woken me up by tickling my sides and I'd almost smacked him in the face, but had managed to refrain myself.

"Luke called me to let me know we have the day off. He's gone for a run with Ashton and Calum is in bed still. What do you want to do today?" He had a grin on his face, he was so damn happy.

Mikey had been pretty disappointed that I'd gone to Disneyland without him. He said he'd wanted to be there to see the look on my face when I first walked onto the grounds, when I first saw the princesses and other characters. I'd felt bad, but there was nothing I could do about it now.