FRIENDS

19

Maddy and Zoe both stayed at my house that night after we left the bar. Usually I'd get kind of weird about people I didn't really know staying at my house, but I had a good feeling about Maddy. I knew that if Zoe trusted her, I could trust her. I might not be ready to tell her every detail of my life, but I was willing to let her in and gave her a chance.

The next morning as we sat at my kitchen table eating waffles, I gave Maddy a bit of background on everything regarding Michael and Ashton before I told them about how I had called Michael, and how he had blocked my number. Zoe had scoffed and went off on a tangent about how typical it was for Michael to be so immature about things because that's just the type of person he was. She was right; I didn't have any reason to argue with her. I just didn't like to hear it, I suppose.

Maddy, however, didn't seem as angry. She had this thoughtful look on her face as Zoe bitched about how awful Michael was, and after a few minutes I asked her what was on her mind.

"I just... I mean, I don't know anything about the situation, but maybe he has a reason. Like, maybe he didn't just do it to be an asshole. He's got to have some sort of reasoning for this, right?" I shrugged. If he had a reason, I didn't know what it was. We'd known each other for twenty years, our entire lives, and he'd thrown that all away. Zoe groaned.

"There is one rule here, Mads. We don't ever defend Michael Clifford. Not ever." She pointed her finger at Maddy, who nodded curtly. I would've thought that she was saying that for my benefit, but there was this look in her eyes that made me think that maybe, just maybe there was more to it.

I pushed my plate away from me and turned towards Zoe.

"What happened between you two?" I asked softly, making sure she knew I wasn't going to get angry with what she told me. I could see it in her eyes now; he had hurt her. Zoe pushed her food around on her plate, staying absolutely silent for what felt like minutes upon minutes. Finally she put her fork down and rested her hands on her lap.

"When we all started hanging out, I had the biggest crush on Michael but I didn't say anything to anyone. I was always the type to lust after someone in secret, you know? This went on for a while, too. And then finally, he asked me out and I was over the moon. We went to his house and fooled around in his living room but I wouldn't go any further than second base. I mean, he'd just asked me out that day and I was fucking sixteen. But he wasn't mad, and after that we just hung out until my curfew."

I remembered this day. I remembered getting her phone call and crying my heart out to Ashton.

"You didn't talk to me again after that day, but Michael and I were still dating. I was sad about you ignoring me, but God was I ever happy that Michael liked me. A boy that I absolutely adored felt the same way. I couldn't even believe it. He was cute and kind and made me feel great. I trusted him. And within a few weeks I even slept with him even though I hadn't ever done that with anyone before, and he knew that. He went home almost immediately after and never called me again. Wouldn't come to the door if I went to his house, avoided me at school, would get the boys to lie for him. I was devastated. I lost you and then I lost him." Her breathing was shaky and I thought she might have been crying, but I wasn't sure since she was looking down at her lap. I exchanged a sad look with Maddy before I got up and hugged Zoe, my heart hurting for her.

"I didn't know." I murmured. Zoe shook her head.

"I know you didn't." She replied, wiping a few tears out of her eyes. "I wasn't mad at you. I was confused but I wasn't mad. It hurt though, him doing that. It fucking hurt a lot. I really liked him. I even thought I loved him. I'm not heartbroken or anything anymore. I'm fine. But I still can't believe he did that, you know?" I nodded. I did know. Michael did a lot of unbelievable things.