FRIENDS

18

After I'd calmed down and gotten off the phone with Ashton, I'd gone back to the kitchen to find my mother and Karen had moved into the dining room and had begun to eat dinner, but I had no appetite anymore. So I'd gone back down to the basement and told Zoe that we should still go catch a movie. She'd paused for a moment before nodding her head and following me out of the house.

"Going to a movie, be back later!" I yelled to my mum as I slammed the door shut.

Zoe didn't say a single thing until we had almost reached the cinema.

"Are you alright?" She asked quietly, looking out the window instead of directly at me. I drummed my fingers against the steering wheel.

"I'm alright. I just didn't want to sit around with Karen and my mum anymore. I know that my mum explained everything to her, but like... they've been planning for Michael and I to end up together since we were infants. Sometimes I swear that they had some plans for a future wedding. And now my mother has realized that Michael and I will never happen, but it's going to take a lot for Karen to get that through her head." I shook my head and sighed. "I always thought the same thing, you know? I mean, they wouldn't tease me about it if they didn't think it was a possibility."

"I think everyone sort of thought you and Michael would end up together." Zoe mumbled. "I mean, even when I dated him, I knew it wouldn't be permanent. Not just because of the fact we were dumb kids in school, but because I couldn't see how you two just... wouldn't fall together. It seemed inevitable to me. To everyone we knew. Even when their band started to get big, everyone believed that you two were meant for each other and nothing could break that."

My hands were shaking. I wished she hadn't told me that. A few months ago, I would've killed to know that everyone believed Michael and I were meant for each other. But now it just burned from my throat down to my stomach, as if I'd swallowed a vat of acid.

"Unfortunately that is not how things worked out." I murmured, pulling into the theatre parking lot.

We had seen some shitty comedy that I hadn't even bothered to remember the name of. I'd let Zoe choose and I'd sat there the whole time, laughing when she laughed, but my mind was in a different place- an alternate universe of sorts.

In my head I was picturing how my life would have been if Michael and I would have ended up together.

We would have ended up living in Los Angeles, I knew that much. He loved it there, even more than he loved Sydney. I had always pictured myself living in Sydney, close to my family, but for Michael, I'd move to Timbuktu if he asked.

I had known since I was twelve that I wanted two kids; a boy and a girl, and Michael had agreed with me. He said he wanted the same, and I'd added that to the list of reasons why we were perfect for each other. We'd have a little Cooper and a little Spencer and we'd be happy.

When he'd go on tour, our little family would always go with him, not wanting to be separated, and we'd always have a blast. I had had this planned for so long, I couldn't picture my future turning out any other way.

For a moment, I tried to picture a future with Ashton, just to see if I could. I didn't really know how I felt about him, it was too soon, but I wanted to try and see if I could picture it.

Ashton wanted a big family. He had told me that once when we were at a party and his eyes had lit up as he spoke about the children and pets he wanted to have. He wanted to live in Australia when he finally settled down so that he could always be close to his family. He loved his mother and siblings more than anything and that was something I greatly admired about him.

I smiled as I thought about the idea of Ashton and I together, running after an array of small children, the dogs barking alongside us, trying to steal our attention away from the toddlers.