I'm doing incorrect quotes again because I don't have time for an actual update but this time with the whole empty cup family.
TW: swearing
Alex: What's the scariest horror movie you've ever watched?
Magnus: IT.
Samirah: Annabelle.
Hearth: Paranormal Activity.
Blitz: High School Musical. All throughout high school I was scared that everyone was gonna randomly get up and start singing and dancing, and I would be the only one who doesn't know the words.
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Magnus: I’ve done a lot of dumb stuff.
Hearth: I witnessed the dumb stuff.
Blitz: I recorded the dumb stuff.
Alex: I joined you in the dumb stuff.
Samirah: I TRIED TO STOP YOU FROM DOING THE DUMB STUFF!
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*Everyone is giving advice to Hearth*
Samirah: It's okay to ask for help.
Magnus: You're not a burden.
Alex: Murder is okay.
Blitz: Your feelings matter.
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Blitz: We need more help. Maybe I should call my friends.
Magnus: ... Your what?
Blitz: My friends.
Alex: Are they saying “friends”?
Samirah: I think they're being sarcastic.
Hearth: No, no, no, this is delirium, they've cracked from being awake all night. Hey, Blitz! All of your friends are in this room.
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Hearth: What makes you all smile?
Blitz: Friends and Family.
Magnus: Snacks.
Samirah: Victory and success.
Alex: Face muscles.
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Alex: What’s something you guys are better than Hearth at?
Blitz: Mario Kart.
Samirah: Yeah, video games.
Magnus: Emotional vulnerability.
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Samirah: Plants have feelings too?! What is this? Now I can't have food!
Blitz: You can eat a rock.
Hearth: Air.
Magnus: The fabric of time and space.
Alex: Chugging a bottle of bleach can solve all your problems.
Samirah: You guys are not helpful.
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Samirah: I swear to god I'm the only one here with a braincell.
Hearth, Blitz, Magnus, and Alex: ALL HAIL the keeper of the sacred braincell!
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Magnus: I'm going to be an adult in 4 years and I only have a vague idea of what I'm going to do.
Samirah: I’m gonna be an adult in less than a year and I don’t know what I’m doing with my life.
Alex: I'm with you there...
Hearth: I'm an adult and I don't know what I'm doing with my life.
Blitz: Three types of people.
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Hearth: Poison is a magic transmutation potion that turns people into corpses.
Blitz: This knife is actually a magic wand.
Magnus: Meet me in the Denny’s parking lot for a wizard duel.
Alex: *cocks gun* Magic missile.
Samirah: What the fuck is wrong with you people.
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Hearth: Alex's first detention, I'm so proud.
Samirah: Whoa, back up. Why did they get detention?
Blitz: Because they're an idiot.
Magnus, terrified: They can do that??
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Hearth: What's the worst thing you guys have done?
Blitz: Rickrolled my teacher in 4th grade.
Magnus: I kicked Samirah in the shin-
Samirah: -So I kicked Magnus between the legs.
Alex: I burned a town down.
Blitz: What?!
Magnus: What the hell is wrong with you?!?
Alex: A lot of things.
Samirah: No shit.
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Alex: Did you bring Samirah?
Magnus, gesturing to Blitz: No, but I brought the next best thing.
Alex: Blitz? The next best thing would be Hearth.
Blitz: I would be offended, but Hearth is freakishly strong.
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Magnus: You're a lying piece of shit!
Alex: Oh yeah? You're the idiot that thinks you can get away with everything you do, WELCOME TO THE REAL WORLD!
Blitz: I'm leaving and I'm taking Hearth with me!
Samirah, gathering cards: Aaaaand that's enough Monopoly for today.
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Blitz: Guys, I’ve been meaning to tell you… Hearth and I are dating.
Hearth, Alex, Samirah, and Magnus: *gasp*
Blitz: Hearth, why are you surprised?!
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Blitz: Anyone d-
Alex: Depressed?
Samirah: Drained?
Hearth: Dumb?
Magnus: Disliked?
Blitz: -done with their work... what is wrong with you people..
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Hearth: *visiting the squad* Hello, I just came to-
Hearth: *sees Samirah shoving Magnus into the washing machine while Blitz records and Alex watches*
Hearth: *retreating* Something suddenly came up.
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Magnus: Look guys, I need help.
Blitz: Love help?
Samirah: Financial help?
Hearth: Emotional help?
Alex: Help moving a body?
*Everybody looks at Alex*
Alex: What?
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Magnus: What did you guys get in your yearbook?
Blitz: 'Prettiest Smile'
Hearth: 'Nicest Personality'
Alex: 'Most likely to start a bar fight'
Samirah: 'Least likely to start a bar fight, but most likely to win one'
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*The gang's thoughts on stabbing*
Magnus: Would never stab anyone.
Blitz: Would stab someone in retaliation.
Hearth: Yells "I won't hesitate, bitch!" first.
Samirah: Would stab without warning.
Alex: Would stab as a warning.
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*the squad is at a dinner party but someone has been murdered*
Samirah: You’re acting pretty carefree for someone who’s life’s at stake. Who’s to say you aren’t the killer?
Alex: It’s a murder, not a tax audit. I’ll be fine.
Magnus: What about Hearth? Nobody ever suspects Hearth!
Hearth: Well what about Magnus? They have a sworr!
Magnus: Samirah has a knife.
Samirah: Yeah, for fun, not for murder! *stabs Blitz in the arm*
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Alex: Time for plan G.
Samirah: Don’t you mean plan B?
Alex: No, we tried plan B a long time ago. I had to skip over plan C due to technical difficulties.
Magnus: What about plan D?
Alex: Plan D was that desperate disguise attempt half an hour ago.
Blitz: What about plan E?
Alex: I’m hoping not to use it. Hearth dies in plan E.
Hearth: I like plan E.
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Magnus: Why isn’t the statue smirking at me?
Samirah: It isn’t smirking at anyone, they’re all just imagining it.
Blitz: Three of us saw it, Magnus. How do you explain that?
Samirah: *points at Hearth* Sleep deprivation. *points at Blitz* Paranoia. *points at Alex* Delusional personality disorder.
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Samirah: You really put aside everything and came all this way for me? How did you even get here so fast?
Blitz: Several traffic violations.
Hearth: Three counts of resisting arrest.
Alex: Roughly thirteen cans of energy drinks.
Magnus: Also, that’s not our car.
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Samirah: If you took a shot for every time you made a bad decision, how drunk would you be?
Hearth: Maybe a bit tipsy?
Blitz: Drunk.
Magnus: Wasted.
Alex: Dead.
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Magnus: Who the fuck broke the toaster?
Alex: It was Blitz.
Hearth: It was Blitz.
Samirah: Blitz broke it.
Blitz:
Blitz: ...yOU PROMISED-
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Magnus: Good morning.
Alex: Good morning.
Samirah: Good morning.
Blitz: You all sound like robots, try spicing it up a bit.
Hearth: MORNING MOTHERFUCKERS
I really like doing the incorrect quotes so I might make a separate story just for these
