Back to School

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When the alarm rings at 5:30 on the morning of August 24th, I groan and look at it through a barely-opened eye. "Whhhhhy?" I whine, pulling my summer-quilt over my head. "Summer is dead," I mutter to my only stuffed animal, a brown teddy bear called Honey Bear.

"Cheyanne! Felix! Time to get up!" our mother's voice barks down the stairs. "Get up, or I'm sending the Ewok down!"

I think about yelling back that my mother's dog would only join me in bed, but decide instead that it is more important that I beat Felix to the bathroom. I grab my robe and lock the door behind me, flipping the bathroom CD player on.

"But it ain't no lie baby bye bye bye!" I sing, trying to ignore the sense of nervousness in my stomach. My first day of high school has finally come, and no matter how much bravado I priss about and put on, I am terrified.

"Hurry up! You're not the only one who got Mom's thick hair, you know!" Felix calls through the door.

"I have a fifteen-minute shower slot and it's only 5:35, Butthead!"

I rinse the remaining conditioner out of my hair and the Neutrogena off my face. Wrapping up in a robe, I grab the blow dryer and straightening iron. Felix is sleepily staring into his closet when I pass his bedroom.

"Do you need me to pick out your clothes for you? You don't want to look like a Backstreet Boy on the first day of school."

He grabs his Star Wars robe and goes into our shared bathroom, switching the CD to something awful I can not begin to identify. "Do you need me to pick out an outfit that doesn't make you look like a Spice Girl?!" he yells. I laugh.

"Isn't that the idea, though?" I ask the ball of tan and black fur snoozing at the foot of my bed. The Brussels Griffon snorts, rolling onto his back for a belly rub. "I hope it's a great year, Wokie," I whisper, tickling the dog's stomach. He snorts blissfully in response. The dog, at least, has no doubts.

Jamie's father picks Felix and me up at 6:45 after we eat two of our mother's homemade breakfast burritos each. Felix smothers his in green chile sauce; I sprinkle mine with avocado. The burritos taste freezer-burned and stale; I suspect they are from the previous spring during the last of my mother's nurturing gestures, before...

Felix looks casual, popular, and relaxed, with only a couple of pencils and pens stuck in his jean pockets. I flip my hair off my face and over my shoulder, adjusting my bag full of school supplies. I want to be pretty, I want to be popular, but most of all I want to be valedictorian so I can get a full ride to the University of Michigan and then go on to be Dana Scully, where my mother and her freezer-burned burritos can never come near me again,

"Straits, are you ready?" Greg asks through a grin as we hop into the Ashburn family Yukon. He was Felix's confirmation sponsor, and they remain incredibly close.

I am glad to get back to the routine of school: the discussions, eating lunch with friends, passing notes, getting the best score in the class on a test. I even have a boyfriend this year. Everything seems to be going my way. I try to ignore the nagging feeling that the higher I fly now, the harder I will crash-land when my life inevitably falls apart.

Felix is ready to play football, but he confides in Greg that he is not ready for classes and homework. The two discuss Felix's class schedule while Jamie and I swap thoughts. I envy the cool, calm way Jamie approaches the school.

"All right, we'll see you this evening!" We hop out of the Yukon, making our way into the building.

"Where is your locker?" Felix asks Jamie.

"Uhh....southwest hallway," she answers after checking her schedule. "Yours?"

"We're in the southeast hallway. See you in the gym for freshman orientation?" 

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