Frigid | Dream x Reader

Chapter 16

Dream's sleeping downstairs tonight. On the couch, away from me.

I hate that it hurts so much worse to know he's so close but so far.

Was going out there to try to stop him, only to end up making things worse, worth it? No, no it wasn't.

I feel like I did more harm than anything. Knowing that Dream can't even be in the same room as me, that lots of people don't have a home to go home to tonight, that they assume I helped destroy their homes?

I wish I hadn't gotten involved...

I roll over as I hear boots stomp the floor below, Dream's only sound he's made since we got back earlier. He hasn't said anything to me since I admitted how I feel he chose L'Manberg over me, just after he said I chose L'Manberg over him.

He hasn't even taken off his mask. All I see is that stupid fucking smile, that mask that I'd barely gotten him to take down for me.

I ruined that too.

I hear a door shut downstairs, realizing he's up only to go in the bathroom since the front door is a lot louder than the bathroom door.

It's not fair of me to feel disappointed that he's just going to the bathroom instead of coming up here to try to talk things out, is it?

I tried to stay angry. I keep replaying the sight of TNT falling onto L'Manberg, of Tommy being shot by Dream, of L'Manberg's final moments, in my mind. I keep trying to remind myself of what he's done, of the lives he's happily ruined.

But my greedy heart can only keep reminding me of what I ruined.

I should at least be grateful that my friendship with Ranboo isn't ruined, right? That he saved me from a Wither blast?

That he was so relieved to see I was safe after Philza stole me away from the battlefield. How he wants me to join him over in the anarchist's home.

But again, my greedy heart.

I hear it when the bathroom door closes again downstairs, bootsteps short as a sign he went right back to the couch nearby.

Not to me. Not to the person he probably doesn't love anymore.

Why did he even love me in the first place?

I don't know how I manage, but I fall asleep eventually on a pillow wet with bitter tears.

*

We aren't going to run off to who knows where and start over together anymore, are we?

Dream was gone when I woke up this morning. No note, no signs of him nearby, nothing.

It almost hurts more than going to bed last night knowing that he wasn't next to me. That he doesn't want to be next to me.

"Are you sure?" I don't waste my energy to look up at Ranboo's quiet question. I already know my answer, and so should he.

"What's the point?" I answer him instead of telling him no, I won't go back to the arctic home he's started with Philza's help.

If I did, Dream might destroy their homes too...

Worse than that, he might take their lives like he's done to others. I don't want that; I can't be the reason something happens to Ranboo.

Philza was kind enough yesterday, all things considered since the war. He doesn't deserve it either.

"I'm sorry." I finally look up to meet Ranboo's eyes, but instead his are downcast on the book sitting over his lap as we sit together under the gentle snowfall.