renegades, httyd

xxvii. Hard Decisions

renegades
chapter twenty-seven

Even once I returned, I didn't sleep at all. I spent the entire night thinking about what Stoick said, until I finally came up with a decision. I glanced back at Speedifist as morning came and everyone started to wake. I knew what I had to do, but I still felt this overbearing guilt. Astrid was speaking with Hiccup about something. He didn't look to pleased by it but nodded. Around me, the others were prepping their dragons for the trip back to the Edge, or just stretching their backs to get ready for another whole day of rebuilding houses. I sighed and reached back for Winglash, who let out a squawk of a yawn, stretching her legs and her wings. I ran my fingers along her snout, slowly coaxing her awake.

A pair of feet walked up to me; one clanking against the stone. I looked up, and I saw Hiccup's eyes filled with worry at the look on my face. It must be obvious I didn't get any sleep.

"Hey," he crouched down in front of me, "did you get any sleep last night?"

I didn't see any point in lying. I sighed and shook my head. Hiccup pursed his lips and sat down properly. His hand settled against my back and my breath hitched, it was the closest he's been since he came back around the others. Toothless rubbed along my side, purring. He sat down and—thinking we didn't see—mischievously whacked his tail against Winglash, startling her awake. "No," I admitted. "I just spent the entire night thinking."

Hiccup's brows furrowed more. Behind us, Winglash, who had been miffed in being woken up in such away, brought out her wing. Toothless ducked, giving her a flat look. She just sat back, preening her wings. She gave him a side eye. Hiccup thought something over, then, moved his hand from my back and took my own, giving it a reassuring squeeze. "If you want me to stay back for a little bit I can—"

While him saying that made my heart flutter, I couldn't allow it. I immediately shook my head. "No, you're going. You have to find Dagur, the plan stays the same. I ... I have things handled here."

He didn't look convinced. "You sure?"

"Yeah," I meant it this time. I had a plan.

Hiccup sighed, "Okay. But Astrid's staying back for another day ... you guys need to spend time with your family." I nodded, admittedly relieved to hear that. "But ... Estrid, listen, I━" whatever he might've said was cut off by the boys who made their way over, ready for the day.

Speedifist, surprisingly, was the first to speak, crossing his arms and asking me, "So, what's the plan? Are we going to go after Dagur?"

I don't know why━even while I was really angry with him━I still felt horrible over what I was saying next. "No, we're not," I saw Speedifist's face drop. Wartihog and Clueless shared a confused look. "Like Hiccup said, we're staying back. Wartihog, I want you to continue with heavy lifting. Clueless, I want you to gather the Academy riders."