Forever and Always

Return Home

Three years ago I left the only place I had ever called home. Hogwarts is where my heart is. Noella is just about ready to graduate. While away I had learned more about the Resurrection potion. One drop could bring a person back from the brink of death. Two could bring them back to life. I had played my part well in creating this war. I had done what needed to be done to keep people safe and now it was time for me to save him.

I had about three hours to do everything before I had to be there. I arrived and headed to the great hall. The students were tending to each other and talking. A gasp was heard as you walked in. Whispers and silence is what greeted you. That was expected with the mark on your arm in full view. Minerva caught sight of you and rushed towards you but once within 10 feet, she stopped and stared at my mark. I stopped as well.

We watched each other for a long time as tears welled in my eyes. "Minerva." She held her arms open to me and I hugged her like like this might be the last time. "Oh my dear its been so long! You stopped sending letters and I was so worried!" She pulls back. "Look at you now. All grown up and ready to live." I sniffle and wipe my eyes. "I'm so scared right now. Its gonna happen soon and I need to be ready. As do you." She nods and hugs me again. "Its good to have you back." I spot the kid. "HARRY POTTER!" He looks startled and sees my arm, drawing his wand. Minerva stands in front of me. "You put your wand away this instant!" He lowers it.

I step closer slowly, hands up. "I am not evil. I worked for Dumbledore. I have some stuff to do but you go to the Weasley's. And repair his body before giving him this." I hand him a tiny bottle. "That way he won't bleed out as soon as he's back. Use the same spell that Snape did on Malfoy after your Sectum Sempa incident. Be quick." He walks around me towards them. "Minerva I need to see him. Now." She looks upset. "I haven't seen him since I ran him off." I nod and head to his room in, what's left of, the dungeons.

No one pays me any attention because they're busy fighting and dying. I make it to the room and use a spell to trace his magic. I find it not far from myself and apparate to it. He stands near the tree, as if waiting. I accidentally step on a stick and he turns on me so fast, wand drawn, that I barely have time to block. "Severus stop!" He halts for a moment. "I'm back. And I'm not leaving you this time. I spent three lonely years trying not to kill myself before I saved you. Regardless of what you said to me." He looks astonished. Then he grabs his arm. "Not yet. It can't be happening yet. Please." He turns to me. I pull out a vial. "Take this right before they see you. It'll allow you to die and come back, if you wish it." He frowns. "How did you do this? We tested it." I shrug and smile. "For your sake, I made variations. I have them for nearly every situation. I've almost perfected everything. There's even one for the long dead but non decayed." He tucks it away.

"I figured there would be more time but since there isn't, I still love you. I always will. Despite what others may think of you, I will know you were a hero. Oh and, before you die, Harry must have your memories. A tear or two should do it." He steps closer and I look at my feet. "I'm sorry that this has to happen but if nothing else makes you want to live, remember me." He tilts my face up. "I should be the one apologizing. I hurt you that day and yet you came back to save me. I was terrible to you. I meant none of it. Every word I said was-" I finish his sentence. "Wrought from the pain and disbelief of what I said." He puts our foreheads together. "You know I won't take the potion willingly, don't you?" I shut my eyes tight. "I do. But why?" He pulls away. "Because I don't deserve to be here. No after all I've done. I should have died so many times before but I didn't." I hold his hand tight. "You think you don't deserve me, don't you?" He says nothing and it confirms it. "If you truly believe that then I must kill myself."

He looks confused and shocked. "What? Why?" I smile. "Because I don't deserve your devotion, loyalty and love. I've never deserved anything I've gotten. I've escaped my death so many times by now that if anyone should die, let it be me." He takes my face in his hands. "Never say that ever again. It isn't true. You deserve so much more than I could ever offer and give." I put my hands on the back of his neck. "I don't want more than you can give. I want you. Everything you are and will be. I want it all."

He pulls me in for a scorching kiss. I nearly cry at how much I've missed us. I pull away. "Take it now and accept that you have to die. Only then will this version work. Greet death and return to me. Or I will make you." He rests his forehead on mine again before apparating and leaving me alone.

I apparate a bit away so I can come in with the trio. They come down the hill and I catch up. "What's going on?" They say nothing but Hermione shushes me. We all kneel outside of the boat house and I take deep breaths. I use a wordless spell to silence anything that may try to escape my mouth when he dies. Voldemort tells him that the wand won't ever serve him if he doesn't kill Severus. I dig my hands into the dirt as I hear his order Nagini to kill and I scream silently as tears stream down my face. All the while listening to him being murdered.

Voldemort and Nagini disappear and the trio rushes in. I wait outside, not knowing what he's chosen to do. Harry takes the tear and I see all life leave him. I make them leave as I grab his hand and pray to whoever exists here that he did the right thing. I shake as tears roll down my face and he doesn't wake up.

I put my forehead to his as I search his pockets to find the full vial. "Oh Severus. Why have you left me? Was I not enough? Did I not have enough for you?" I grab my after death resurrection potion and put two drops on his tongue. "Please wake. I don't want to imagine life without you. We will leave here. I can take you anywhere." I feel his stir. "Please come back to me."