A Disastrous Life Indeed

7 || Warning: Gory...I Guess ||

This - is Saiki's thoughts

"This" - is Saiki using telepathy to others or hearing other's thoughts

"This" - is normal dialogue (but you won't really see Saiki actually speaking that much)

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Saiki was content that he could soon show off the fixed wall and ceiling of Saitama's apartment. He was definitely going to be pleased about it...maybe even smile while he was at it.

He was in the middle of floating outside to the others, when a giant explosion erupted - the flames nearly burning him to a crisp. 

"Sorry, senpai!! I'll finish this gorilla in no time!" Genos shouted as he zoomed passed, landing a loud punch on his enemy.

Gorilla? Did i hear wrong or did he just say gorilla?

Saiki's question was immediately answered as he realised Genos's opponent was a toughly armoured gorilla-cyborg who was currently growling furiously and swatting at the smaller and faster cyborg in front of it.

Well...as much as i feel like defeating a monster right now...i think i should leave this...uh...gorilla-cyborg to Genos.

Saiki had turned around so he could see Saitama's situation when his eyes widened. 

In a split second he tilted his head slightly to the left, just in time, as a rock zoomed by his ear from behind. A small smirk lifted the corner of his mouth. 

Trying to act cool, huh? He had learnt the trick from a new anime he'd taken a liking to. Obviously, this was only possible in real life because he was a psychic.

Tsk. Those details dont need to be shared. Let me feel cool for once.

Just then, a loud roar made Saiki jump, and nearly bleed his ears out. He glared at the lion who was responsible for the unnecessary noise. 

His eyes then landed on a certain bald head. This time, it was sticking out of the ground...quite literally. Saitama was stuck in the concrete ground, with his only his shiny head poking out.

I wonder how he will surprise me next time. First, he's completely naked...next he's planted into a pathway.

"Leave me alone, man. It's quite nice here. Im kinda getting sleepy, so could you get lost?" Saiki heard the man say to the rather large lion, who was slightly taken back by his attitude.

"HAHAHAHAHA...I see, i will have to put you into your place..." it said, showing its razor-sharp teeth. Saiki hated these types of villains, who thought they could destroy everything in their path.

He softly landed on the ground and calmly walked towards the giant lion. Now that Saiki was close, he noticed a small mole as well.

"There's another one?? I'll have to sneak under him as well." He heard its inner voice as it disappeared underground. Pft.

Ive wondered what it would feel like destroying monsters with your own fist. Might as well try copying Saitama.

"Oh- Hey Saiki! You should totally try being underground like this. It feels hella nice--"

A loud boom shook the ground under Saiki's feet. He instantly regretted punching the monster, as he could feel a revolting shower of blood fall all over him, and on top of that, he could hear loud thumps of remains falling heavily next to him.

"Urk-" Saiki covered his mouth, trying his best to hold back the popcorn he enjoyed not too long ago, which was daring to come back up.

"Lmao! Nice one!" Saitama exclaimed as he watched with a dumb expression, "Dont forget the tiny one."

Just then, the psychic could feel claws grabbing tightly onto his ankles from below, tugging with great force. It tugged...and tugged again...but nothing changed as Saiki looked down with a disappointed face. He flew up suddenly, so he could drag the mole out in the process.

"Sneak attacks to trap your enemy...what a foolish one you are. Individuals like you should not even be considered villains. Just cowards." He said in a low, rough voice.

Wow...anime sure does make an impact in one's life, huh? It even made a god-level psychic copy lines from it. [a/n: and also made a lazy-ass like me write fanfics ;v;]

AGAIN, WITH THOSE UNNECESSARY DETAILS. LET ME HAVE MY MOMENT.

It took a while for the mole to process what had happened. It screeched with fear when it did.

Ahem...physical contact is definitely not my thing, so i think ill stick with telekinesis.

Saiki then proceeded to lift the mole off his leg, and tighten the atmosphere around it with immense force. This caused the little monster to be crushed like a fly, spilling blood everywhere. Thankfully, this could be done a distance away because of the telekinesis...in other words, Saiki could avoid being covered with mole blood.

"Damn...violent." Saitama yawned. It was clear that he was getting more tired by the second.

"And you say that like your punches are any different. Im pretty sure they also cause monster's blood and body parts to fly everywhere." Saiki huffed as he wiped blood off his face. This made him think of the lion, and shiver.

"Hey- I dont squash the life out of them. That thing almost looked like a wet towel being squeezed -- except blood gushed out, not water." The bald man walked out of the ground, casually, looking at the unrecognisable body of the mole.

"...well get used to it 'cause that's what ill mostly be doing to defeat monsters from now on."

"Awwww...the fire thing was cool, though." 

Saiki smirked as the two turned and walked towards where Genos was. As expected of the passionate cyborg, he had defeated the gorilla and was in the middle of getting information out of it.

"Sensei. Apparently these monsters are from a place called...'The House of Evolution'." He said, keeping his hand at the gorilla's head so he could blast it if even the slightest suspicious movement was detected.

"Hm? What's that?" Saitama asked, picking his nose.

"Sounds lame." 

"Apparently, they want to use you for an experiment on human evolution. Sensei, i dont think they will stop annoying you unless we do something about them." Genos said. You could hear a touch of excitement in his voice.

"You want to destroy them." Saiki stated dully.

"Senpai, you've only known me for a while but you can already predict my desires."

"I think you forgot that he's a psyhic, Genos. Reading minds is a piece of cake for him. Anyway, let's go." The bald man turned and walked away, making sure to swerve around the monster remains.

"..."

"..."

"NOW????" Saiki was surprised by Saitama's decision. He certainly wasnt the type of person who would be bothered to do this stuff. Not right away, at least.

"Mhm. Cant go tomorrow because of the sale that's on at the supermarket. I definitely cant miss out on that." Saitama pulled out a flyer, unfolded it, and waved it above his head.

Saiki gasped. He hurried over to the man and put an arm around him.

"So, uh...i want you to answer my question truthfully and seriously." He said.

"???"

...

"In this world...do you have a thing called 'Coffee Jelly'?" 

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A/N: Idk if that was way too violent for u guys but...thats how Saiki will be killing monsters half the time so...yea.