The Light's Dark

Part 14

Jin ZiXuan stared at Yanli as she walked about the Lotus Pier. He had requested that they meet up, and of course Madam Yu had eagerly agreed thinking perhaps that some good could come out of that Brat teaching ZiXuan a lesson or two. Barring that he was also now out of the way, and now Yanli and ZiXuan perhaps had the real opportunity to get to know each other without improper influence. As such Jin ZIXuan had come to the Lotus Pier, determined to properly court Yanli and get to know her more. He had to admit it was a strange thing to do, especially since before he had been so vicariously against it, but...he also could not really help it. He wanted to be able to...to get to know her a little bit. He had seen a spark, and he wanted to be the person to bring it out. To let it shine, to burn so brightly that nobody else could fight it.

Previous insults that he had spewed her way had made him wonder if she would bother to even give him another chance. He had burned her so many times, he deserved everything that Wei WuXian had said and done to him. He deserved it more than anything else, and it was frightening to see that now, only after that, he was realizing just how precious YanLi was. He had insulted her cultivation, but just because she had a lower level of cultivation did not make her useless. Did not most healers have low level cultivation skills? Even should she have low cultivation, it was not like she was useless. She took care of everyone around her religiously, caring for them greatly. She was quite the gentle person. She had a beauty in a different way than was conventional, but even then she was not a pain to look at either. He could not believe that he had so continually insulted her so badly about everything just because he was angry about an arranged marriage. He had not even really considered the fact that Yanli was stuck in this as well. It made him feel like an absolute jerk. He was. Had been. Now? He hoped to make things right. Hoped to prove himself a bit more. Better at least.

Yanli, strolling around the smaller areas of Lotus Pier, watching as she talked graciously to all the stall owners, smiling, comforting, she was the flower of the sect. He wondered...he wondered if when he took over the Jin sect, if he would be able to turn her into a diamond that shone so much brighter than all the gold around them. He wanted to make LangLing a place where she could live without fear or repercussions. To do that, he would need to do a lot of purging, but he was willing to. She deserved far more than what she had given her. It would be his last courting gift. Showing her the changes he had made. Of course, this was just assuming he could get his father out of the throne anyways. It would not be too difficult, and perhaps...perhaps he could get help. He had heard of various bastards his father had with poor woman, forcibly and otherwise. He wondered if he could enlist their help.

It would be risky, of course, but he knew that it would be better, and it would make them feel more appreciated. To be honest, he should have tracked down his half brothers long ago. Then again, he had taken the same approach that he had with Yanli thinking them below him as he was the Sect Heir. How many things had Wei Ying done to change his mind. Not just of Yanli. Perhaps he had not meant to...no, ZiXuan knew that he had not meant to, how would he even know the inner thoughts that he had kept to himself...but in changing his opinion of Yanli he had forced him to reassess many things, and he found himself shamed at how many times he had acted so high and mighty he was not able to see that perhaps others were in need of his help too.

His half brothers for instance. He had known his father had plenty of affairs with other woman. Yet, he had not bothered to try and see them, not bothered to try and be the gege that he should have been. Sure, they were unloved marital affairs, but knowing how his father was just how many of those affairs were actually willing in his affections. Even if they were willing, what would they have done? Say no? LanLing Jin had quite the influence, what could they have done? He realized that despite the fact that his father had had these affairs, and knowing that he would ditch the woman the moment she was pregnant with no care or regard for the life of the bastard, he had not bothered to care either. After all, it did not affect him as long as he did not worry about it too much. It was not as though any of them would be capable of succession. None of them would be, they were bastardized children, and he was the only legitimate child that his father had. It was stupid to be jealous of the bastards and worried that they would take his place.

Just how many bastards had he condemned to a horrible life with the utter lack of care he had? How many of them were like Yanli. Bright in their own way, but needing someone to help bring it out. His love had Wei Wuxian, and Jiang Cheng, but what about those bastards? Maybe they did not have anyone, maybe they were utterly alone. He needed to find them. Immediately.

"Jin Gongzi, what are you fretting over?" Yanli questioned, having turned to him to see the worried and slightly anxious expression upon his face.

"I was just thinking..." He hesitated. Was this something he should share with her? Shaking his thoughts away, he realized that in the end, he would marry this woman, and if not her than he would not marry. It would be good to get her opinion as well. He had none else who he could trust to keep this from his father after all. "I was wondering about the bastard children my father had. I know most of them are probably dead, but...what if even one is still alive. I...I realize that I have been acting so pompous. Wei Gongzi is right a bout a few things at least." Yanli moved to speak but he rushed ahead of her. "I was thinking, about what your opinion was, at finding them? Would it be a good idea? Is it too late to try and help them? I know...I know my father will not. if he so much as finds out I was even trying to get into contact with them he would fly into a rage, but..."

"I think it is a wonderful idea." Yanli said with a soft smile.