A Coalition Story

He Deserves to Know

Ravyn had spent the last two days in more agony than the two previous weeks combined. Since realizing she was in love with her best friend and exactly what that meant, well, she knew she was officially screwed no matter what she did. There was no fixing her situation now.
But Atticus deserved to know how she felt, even if there was nothing to do about it. Or maybe, maybe Ravyn just needed to tell him to get it off her chest. Even if it would hurt both of them in the long run. Maybe that was selfish, but Ravyn never learned how to be anything else.
She knocked three times on Ace's dorm door, a knock she knew he'd recognize. He memorized everything.
The door opened after about thirty seconds, and Atticus looked as excited to see her as she expected. So, not excited at all.
"Hi," she breathed out, sad eyes trying to catch his, but he stared above her head at the wall, not at her.
"Can I come in?" Ravyn asked gently, her voice similar to the one she used with Alice when talking about the incident and Lev.
"What do you want?" Atticus sighed, finally making reluctant eye contact.
"I want to apologize. And I have something I need to tell you." Something she had to tell him before the wedding in one week.
"You can do that here."
She sighed, eyes falling to her feet. The old Ravyn, back in the day, would have been bold and confident, but things had changed a lot in the last six months for her. She didn't have her confidence or boldness anymore. Not like she used to.
"Ace, I messed up. I was so selfish and cruel and I took advantage of your feelings, or I tried to. And I know it's been three weeks since then and this apology is long overdue, but there's something else I've been trying to figure out and-" She paused to breathe. "I've come to realize just how important you are to me. These last three weeks have been the worst kind of Hell. I've been so lost and alone, even when I was with Cal and Torin, and that's because I knew I didn't have you. You are the absolute most important person to me, and I don't know exactly what that means, but that combined with a whole bunch of other things makes me think I'm-" Another pause to breathe. She was rambling and her heart raced. She was either going to fix their friendship or ruin it even more with what she was about to say.
Ravyn looked up at Atticus, but she only found a stony face staring back at her. No emotion, no thoughts, no words. He was a statue.
"I'm in love with you, Ace," she finished, her light eyes hopeful for the first time in months. Maybe she couldn't fix anything with Lev, and maybe she couldn't escape her inevitable doom, but she could at least be friends with Ace. With her Ace.
Her Ace, who stared at her blankly. She told him she loved him, the same sentiment he had delivered to her weeks earlier, and he had zero response. Down went her hopes, as well as any chance of ever reconciling with her best friend.
In the past, Ravyn would have fought. She would have gotten a reaction somehow. She would have struggled and gotten her way. But Ravyn had grown up a lot in the past six months, and she knew that fighting with Ace wasn't going to get her anywhere anymore.
"I guess I'll go then," she breathed out, stepping backwards but not breaking eye contact. Again, no response. No reaching out for her. Nothing. Atticus stood in his doorway, staring at her with less emotion than the Mona Lisa.
"I'll see you around, Ace," Ravyn muttered, finally, slowly turning away and walking down the hall, brushing tears from her eyes as she went.
One week until Hell took over the rest of her life, and she wasn't really sure how she was going to survive, or if that was even worth it.