When Duty Calls: Overwatch Toilet Stories

Mission Accomplished (Jack/Soldier: 76)

"Are you alright, Commander Morrison?" Jack heard echo through his ears. He snapped back to attention; he'd lost his focus after a sudden churning in his stomach distracted him. "Yes, yes, I'm fine. Let's just keep along this path right here." He was in the middle of a rehearsal mission with some of his agents at Watchpoint: Gibraltar when he needed a toilet. Maybe eating that giant stack of pancakes wasn't a good idea.

The nearest bathroom was all the way back at the facility, and they were miles into the woods outside the building pretending to stake out for "targets". Jack knew that it wouldn't be long until his digestive system took over, so he decided to change the trajectory of the mission. He needed to come up with something convincing to tell his agents--and fast.

"I'll be down the trail observing you from a distance. You won't know from where, but just know I'll be watching. I want you all to go through the protocols I've taught you thus far. We need to ensure that you're capable of handling business when I'm not around; the sign of a true soldier." He left his agents behind, crunching over sticks and branches in his path. He got to the river and crouched next to a bush lining the river to provide himself with a little bit of privacy.

A strong *braaap* escaped his body as he sighed with relief. Two smaller *ppts* followed immediately after, echoing through the trees. Poop began to snake out of his body into the water with a confident *plink*. Jack sighed again. It felt good to empty his bowels, even if it wasn't in a typical location.

Suddenly, he heard the sound of footsteps crunching in the distance. He surveyed his surroundings and saw one of his agents approaching the river. They fumbled with their pants, dropping them and facing the river.

The agent started their dump with a *zzzrrpt*, the sound of their farts making the various wildlife turn their heads. Their poop mixed with Jack's, floating to the end of the river. The men sat in silence as they let their bowels talk, farting and sinking logs rapidly. Even with the open space and the familiar smell of nature surrounding them, an aroma of mud and poop began to fill the air.

After Jack released his final log with a conclusive *bloop*, he splashed some of the tainted water on himself in an attempt to clean up. It wasn't anything like toilet paper, but it would suffice for now. Standing up, he watched as the remains of his poop floated down the stream, blending in with the rest of the debris floating amongst the water. Another successful mission to add under his belt.