A New Chance To Live

3

Warnings:
-None

Clay's POV

I laid in my bed, waiting for Sapnap to come since my heart was getting crushed because of the pain. It was the feeling of betrayal and the anxiety about this happening again that numbed my body. I never wanted a relationship with anyone who knew about my popularity again, I couldn't trust them.

I was still holding my bisexual flag and bit my lip as tears dropped down on it. An hour ago I was so happy, but now my heart was just crushed again. I never wanted another heartbreak after the boy I loved so much, but it happened again. Of course it did, I couldn't trust anyone.

As I looked down at my flag again, I felt an extremely sad feeling overwhelm me again. I shouldn't listen to what she said, but it made me feel worthless to hear someone say I just had to pick a side.

I sighed and a few minutes later I heard the front door downstairs open.

'Hi Sapnap!' I heard my dad say.

'Hi!'

'Clay is upstairs,' my dad said.

A second later, I heard footsteps next to my room and I waited for him to open my door. Instead, he knocked on my door and I mumbled for him to come in.

He walked in and smiled at me.

'I'm sorry, I look like shit,' I muttered, wiping my tears away again. 'It's just hard to believe that I'm still valid.'

'What makes you think that you're not?'

'Maybe I'm just being weird with my bisexuality.'

'No, you're not being weird. You just like two or more genders and that's totally fine. A lot more people are bisexual.'

'Okay,' I whispered as I looked at my flag again with a sigh. 'I'm so upset.'

Sapnap sat next to me on my bed and laid his hand down on my shoulder. 'It's going to be alright, Clay. I promise you. You'll find someone else one day.'

'I can't trust anyone.'

'You can, I promise. Maybe you'll meet a boy or girl somewhere else.'

I sighed and Sapnap smiled. 'Want the cake my dad baked?'

I nodded and Sapnap opened his bag, getting a lunchbox. He opened it and handed me the lunchbox. 'It fell apart,' he giggled.

'It's fine, thank you.'

I slowly started eating the cake while staring. Sapnap grabbed my bisexual flag and smiled.

'The bisexual flag is so cool,' he said.

I smiled. 'I like it too.'

'Do you wanna play some soccer outside?'

'I look like absolute shit,' I said with a soft giggle.

Sapnap softly pushed me and grinned. 'You always look like shit, idiot.'

I rolled my eyes. 'You're so dumb.'

I finished the cake and put his lunchbox away, sighing softly. 'I'm glad you're here. I'll get the air mattress in a minute.'

'Do you think I'm going to let my best friend be alone when he's sad?'

'You're an amazing friend. Luckily I can trust you.'

'Obviously, I'm not friends with you because you're popular. You're an amazing guy, that's why we are friends. You've been with me when my mother left and now I'm here when people are being assholes to you.'

I gave Sapnap a hug and stood up. 'Want to play soccer?'

'Yeah, sounds good.'

'Can you see that I cried? I don't want my dad to know. He thinks I'm a tough guy who never cries.'

'You can still be a tough guy while you cry. That's just such a stupid statement that boys can't cry.'

'True, I'm emotional as hell though,' I grinned.

'I know, but that's fine,' Sapnap said. He stood up too. 'You can see that you cried if you focus on it.'

I nodded and sighed deeply as we went down the stairs. My dad looked up with a smile. 'I'm leaving in five minutes, Clay. Your brother is sleeping, can you prepare his food? It's in the fridge.'

'Yeah, what's for dinner for us?'

'I didn't buy food for Sapnap, because I didn't know he was coming so you can maybe order some pizza. Are you alright, by the way? Your eyes are really red.'

'Allergies,' I muttered. 'Sap and I are going to play soccer on the grass field back there.'

'Okay, have fun. I'm going now. Both your mother and I will be home tomorrow morning.'

I nodded. 'Good luck.'

I walked off with a soccer ball and we went to the field in the back of my neighbourhood. Sapnap didn't play any sports, but I had played soccer for a long time. I was currently on a break to focus on school, but I was planning on going back someday when my mental health wasn't as bad anymore.

We started kicking the ball to each other and I was happy to forget my problems for a bit. Sapnap always cheered me up and made me feel worthy when I didn't feel that anymore.

I was exhausted after we played for two hours and we ended up going back inside.

'Dude, I forgot to wake up my brother.'

My brother just turned three so he always needed a lot of care. Next to him I had another sister. She was fifteen and went to the same school as me, causing her to know I was bisexual. She was accepting, promised to not tell my parents and also knew about my previous crushes and relationships. Luckily I could trust her and she was always sweet. She was currently at her friend's house to stay the night there.

I quickly ran upstairs, seeing my brother sit up in his crib. Since he just turned three, we found it safe enough for him to sleep in his crib.

He was making soft and happy sounds when he saw me and I giggled, tapping his nose. I grabbed his stuffed animal and gave it to him, having him wrap his arms around it.

I took care of him for a little and took him downstairs as I ordered some pizza and prepared my brother's food.

After a while we ended up eating and I played with my brother for a little. As soon as it hit the seven pm mark, I brought my brother to bed again and sat with Sapnap on the couch.

'How are you?' he asked.

'I'm okay,' I said with a smile. 'Thanks for being here.'

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