A New Chance To Live

18

Warnings:
-Talk about death

Clay's POV

I laid with George for minutes while my heart went very fast because I was nervous. George was constantly teasing me and I giggled softly as I ruffled his hair up.

'George, this is actually going to sound so stupid but I've been really scared to get close to you because of my past... but to be fair, I love you. You're a really sweet guy.'

George looked up with a smile. 'M-maybe I l-love you too,' he whispered with a giggle.

My face filled with a smile and I looked him in the eyes. 'Is that serious? Or are you just joking with me again? I understand if you are, but please tell me now, because I don't want to go through that pain again.'

'Again?'

'My last ex used me because I was popular and they wanted to become popular too. My last ex-girlfriend cheated on me and the boy I loved was talking shit about me behind my back because he got popular because of me and that was all he wanted.'

'I'm sorry,' George whispered. 'I'm n-not joking. I d-didn't even k-know you were p-popular.' He was struggling very hard to talk so I let him take all the time he needed.

'Yeah, I guess I'm popular, but I'm also not. I'm popular because of my looks apparently, but I get bullied for liking guys and being bi.'

George smiled softly. 'Bisexuality i-is r-really valid,' he whispered with a breathless voice.

'Thank you so much for accepting me,' I smiled softly, pulling him close.

George nodded. 'That's n-no problem.'

'Are you serious about caring about me? I'm sorry, I should trust you, but after the last few times I find it hard to believe someone can really love me.'

He grabbed his phone and started typing.

I'll type, because I'm too exhausted to speak for long. I've always seen you as my friend. At the party I realised I really appreciate you a lot for being this kind to me all of the time. I used to be alone too and people bullied me for having asthma.

I read his message and smiled softly. 'Well, you know I care so much about you that I did anything to save your life. I would do it over and over to stay with you, I just hope you want to stay with me too.'

I lifted George up so his face was in front of mine and I smiled. 'You're so beautiful,' I said with a big smile. 'Handsome, sweet, cute, gorgeous.'

George had a blush on his face and giggled shyly.

'So you want to be my friend, right? I just want to know if I'm crossing any boundaries...'

George grabbed his phone again and started typing. I was really nervous while he was typing, afraid that he rejected me and told me that he didn't want to be my friend at all.

I am, but do you think I'm not too much for you? I need a lot of care and since we don't have much money, you have to realise I'm in life-threatening danger every second of the day.

'I know, George. I'm here for you and I'll be with you as much as I possibly can.'

'W-what if I-I d-die?' George whispered. 'I'm afraid I w-will one d-day.'

'I'm going to do everything in my power to help you and if you end up passing away, I want you to have the best life you can. Don't think about what I can handle, if you want to be friends with me, I want to be with you too.'

'And i-if I pass a-away?' he asked again with tears in his eyes.

'Then I'll grieve for as long as I need to and always remember you.'

'I-I was so s-scared yesterday,' he whispered. A tear rolled down his face. 'I-I was a-alone and t-thought I would die w-without saying goodbye.'

It made me sad to know how much pain he went through and I hugged him tightly. 'I'm so sorry for not being there with you. I'm so sorry.'

'It's not y-your fault,' he whispered. 'I don't w-want to d-die, b-but I'm s-so s-scared.'

'I love you, George. I love you as much as I love Sapnap and I know him for years. I'm never leaving you alone again, okay?'

George smiled shortly and I wiped his tears away.

'Don't be scared, I'm not leaving you again. I promise you I will be there when you have another asthma attack and otherwise if I'm not here, then your mother will.'

George nodded softly and smiled as he glanced up at my eyes. 'What colour?'

'My eyes are green,' I answered him with a smile. He smiled back and nodded slowly.

I pulled him closer as I laid down more, letting him rest his head on my chest. I started running my hand through his hair and breathed out.

'You're not uncomfortable, right? I just really want to make sure you're okay. I know I'm bisexual, but I don't want a relationship anymore. I won't hit on you or anything, but if you don't like cuddling with me, I'll let go and sit up next to you.'

He looked up and giggled softly, leaning in to kiss my cheek. 'Boys can cuddle. Boys can kiss each other's face. Without feelings.'

He took a deep breath between each sentence and sighed.

'Break those dumb stigmas. I-if I kiss your c-cheek, I'm not suddenly gay. If I s-show my love to you by hugging you, I'm n-not gay. I can cuddle with you, I can kiss your cheek, forehead or whatever without f-feelings.'

He smiled when I blushed from happiness. 'I really needed to hear something like that... I've been so scared that people immediately think like that. I don't have the courage to call a boy handsome or beautiful because they'll just say I'm in love with him...'

'That's bullshit,' George answered. 'You're really handsome and I'm straight.'

I giggled softly and closed my eyes with him in my arms. He made me so happy and I trusted him. I hoped my trust wouldn't be more damaged than it already was...

1072 words