Summertime Sadness // Larry

8

...

Once Harry was comfortable, his tears had stopped rolling, Louis had found a way to make him feel like this was the safest place in the whole wide world. As he held his head in his lap. Both of them laying spread on the sand with no care on the world.

In fact he now was giggling as Louis called his scars, waves of sad old times, and called them pretty. Harry never saw them as pretty. He liked to cover them up. But Louis had kissed his scars so many times now, that he thought maybe he'd been wrong to hide them at the first place. And if he's to gain kisses he might as well let him.

Louis holds him, starstruck at his beauty, his beautiful curls where spread on his lap like millions of ribbons.-"How did this angel land into my arms?"

Harry blushed.-"Angel? Where?"

Louis cupped his face making Harry look at him.-"Between my hands. Over my lap. Looking at me with big life filled green eyes, ones I just want to drown inside off..."

Harry giggles again.-"Thanks, you're not bad yourself mister."-After a short silence he spoke again.-"So...are you ready, it's your turn."

"Just know this before I start. No one knows of this story with details, you'll be the first to hear my confession!"

Harry had a few chills run down his spine.-"Of course. Understood."

Louis took a deep breath and started.-"My life is not too much to be proud of. I was raised by a family with many children, stick parents, so coming out was out of the option categories. Throughout the years all I wanted was to grow as a person. But all I was taught to be RIGHT was to Get a degree, get a job, get a house, get a wife, have a family, have kids and let the circle go on and on forever...I believed in this circle for a long time. I tried to forget my preferences. I tried to forget my feelings, I tried washing away my own colours, being told they where a sin..."

"No Louis...It's not! Being you is the only right!"-Harry said softly cupping his face.

"I know...but that's what they taught me. So I did all that, got a degree, got a job, made money to drown myself into, got a house, even got myself a girlfriend...but something always missed inside me...a huge part of me felt like this wasn't my body anymore, every night, by every kiss I got by her, I felt like I was losing myself...but I didn't accept it until..."

"Shhh, take your time love."-Harry whispered kissing his hand.

"Last year after my birthday, 25 December. A phone call...from my dearest friend changed everything. He was always joyful, always happy, always with a smile, had this big brown doe eyes, just like his hair. He was my best friend, the best of everything. But that night when he called me he was sobbing, I could see he had started drinking again, not to much to get drunk but he had been drinking enough to call me so late. I knew something was off, like something was done...gone. His words sounded like echoes, his voice trembled like leaves after a storm. I knew everything was going to end badly...but not that bad...He died. At that bridge back in Manchester. The bridge that me and him would always go when we get drunk or where sad. He drowned on the bottom of that river that we both watched so many times pass by our feel. I was still on the phone when he jumped..."-He was fully on letting his tears fall.

Harry tried his best to wipe them of and mumble sweet nothings in his ear. Maybe that was the reason Louis got distant when they walked the bridge of the town, it reminded him of what happened to his friend. It all made sense now.