I Hate Touring With Motionless in White

Hot

Next day

Eric
I walked in the living room. I went to walk out of the bus. Chris said where's your shirt? I said dude it's 98° outside today. I'm not wearing a shirt. Ricky said you're gonna get sunburned. I said I'll live. I walked around the venue.

30 minutes later
I walked in the building. My phone rang. It was Dylan (Video chat)

Me: bro what is up with you and Noah blowing my phone up.

Dylan: we like harassing you

Me: I can tell

I rolled my eyes

Dylan: eww the infamous eye roll

Me: stop blowing my phone up.

Dylan: do you ever wear a shirt?

Noah: he doesn't own any

Me: it's hotter then the pits of hell here and if you looked like me you wouldn't wear a shirt either.

Dylan: has anybody ever told you you have an ego?

Me: all the time and I'm aware. I can't help that I'm hot.

Noah: keep telling yourself that.

Me: well I got "straight" men hitting me up on snap

Dylan: who?

Me: I don't out people.

I heard clout but offset

Me: excuse me, but I thought that was banned from the locker room.

Noah: you ran it into the ground

Me: I did not

Dylan: dude you played it everyday after practice

Me: what's the difference between me playing clout and Jack playing I love rock n roll. The Britney Spears version which by the way how the hell am I the gay one when you prefer that over Joan Jett?

Jack: it is better

Me: bro no

It started playing

Me: I'm hanging up

Noah: no!

Jack: Eric get your ass to the locker room now

Me: I can't

Jack: what got a man on the way over?

Me: haha no I'm on tour with my brother

Jack: why the hell did you do that?Don't you hate your brother.

Me: yes, but I'm being forced to be here. It wasn't my choice. Believe me I'd rather be in a ring and getting harassed by y'all or in the cage. But nope my lovely mother made me come to hell.

Dylan: oh shit, really?

Me: yeah

Dean: bro you gonna get drunk?

Me: I can't because my brother has some bullshit rule about alcohol.

Noah: yeah he's a major buzzkill. You can't drink or smoke around him.

Dean: really?

Me: yeah I'm gonna be ready to kill someone if I don't do something.

Noah: what are you gonna do? Since you can't smoke or drink.

Me: no idea and nobody has any work out equipment. So most likely lose my fucking mind or kill somehow

Noah: (laughing) what ya gonna go John Kramer on Ricky?

Me: see I don't have access to heavy machinery and the gayest thing about me is that I don't know how to build shit.

Jack: (laughing)

Noah: y'all should've seen him trying to put together a table

Me: okay hear me out the directions weren't in English and y'all know me I'm not the smartest person.

Noah: you have 1 brain cell and it's Shaggy Rodgers

Me: that's very accurate. Oh you won't believe who slid in my DMs.

Jack: who?

Me: Rebecca McKnight

Dean: no way

Me: yeah she was hitting on me. I don't get why girls still hit on me. Everyone knows I'm gay.

Noah: nobody believes you are because you act incredibly straight.

Me: yeah I suck at being a stereotypical gay

Jack: do you do anything gay? I mean besides fuck men.

Me: (laughing) I do a lot of gay shit.

Dean: you don't give the vibes. You are a bad gay

Me: don't straight shame me

Noah: dumbass, it's gay shame

Me: (laughing)

Devin: yeah you're definitely a natural blond

Me: I've taken to many hit to the head

Jack: we can tell

Me: okay well I'm gonna go. Don't blow my phone up.

Noah: I'm gonna call you repeatedly at 4am

Me: I swear to god I'll block your number

Noah: okay bet

Me: okay bye

Hung up