I Hate Touring With Motionless in White

I'm Gay

Next day

Eric
The boys and girls were gone. I was laying on the couch snapchatting my friend Noah. When the band and the girls walked in. Chris said hey. I rolled my eyes. I heard rain on me. I ignored it. Alicia said well that's different. I laughed and said what? Alicia said I wouldn't have expected that to be your ringtone. Noah called me again. I ignored it. He called me again. I ignored it. Justin said well they definitely wanna talk to you. He called me again. I answered.

Me: whose dying?

Noah: I'm dying of boredom

Me: so you call me

I heard fag by Todrick Hall

Me: (laughing) are you really listening to Todrick Hall

Noah: yeah

Me: bro this is my anthem

Noah: explain

Me: so you know Chase?

Noah: the asshole on the football team

Me: yeah, that one. Anyways he used to bully me relentlessly for being gay. But I know it was out of pure jealousy. Because I scored more points then him. All the cheerleaders tried to get with me. But anyways 3 months ago I was at a party with his girlfriend Lexi. We hooked up

Noah: you didn't

Me: that's not even the best part. I got a video of her blowing me and calling me daddy. I sent it to him and said your bitch calls me daddy too.

Noah: (laughing) oh my god! You didn't.

Me: I can send you the screenshot. But needless to say, he left me alone after that. I don't know how him and Lexi are still together though. She fucked a gay man when she was sober and she's not even that good in bed. She's a solid 5.

Noah: (laughing) she was sober?

Me: yeah, I told you I can literally pull anybody I want.

Noah: this is why you're my best friend

Me: the gay revenge stories?

Noah: yes

Me: but hey if you ever do need revenge on someone you have my number. It ranges from sex to beating the living hell out of someone.

Noah: (laughing) what's your favorite?

Me: well I really don't enjoying fucking women. I'm openly gay for a reason. So beating the hell out of someone is my favorite. I'm not a bi bitch. I'll fuck a woman for revenge but it's not something I'd do for myself. If that makes sense.

Noah: you're the straightest gay person I've ever met

Me: (laughing) thank you?

Noah: so how's your love life?

Me: bro, well Kade and I split up

Noah: when?

Me: last week

Noah: why?

Me: he's a dick

Noah: maybe you'll find someone on tour

Me: I don't know. But hey I'll call you back later tonight.

Noah: I'm getting drunk tonight. So I probably won't be able to talk.

Me: chug a beer for me and take a shot of Jack

Noah: see your the straightest gay person I know.

Me: (laughing) okay I'll snap you later then

Noah: okay bye

Me: bye

Hung up
Kym said so you're gay? I said yeah. Ricky was shocked. I said are you really shocked I'm gay? Ricky said uh yeah, I've known you your whole life. I said you've known me for 12 years. That's not my whole life. You don't know shit about me. Since ya know I see and hear from you once a year. I walked out of the bus....