The Hero Next Time: A Novel of the Terribly Acronymed Detective Club (Book 4)

Chapter Forty-Nine: Lauren, Sunday

Lauren woke to a presence settling on the bed beside her. For a second she was confused, and thought she was in bed at home, and that Joe was in bed with her, finally returned. Then she thought of the baby she would have to find a way to tell him about at some point, maybe by showing him another positive pregnancy test. 

Then she remembered her baby was gone. Then she remembered she was in a hospital bed, not at home.

"Tosh?" she ventured, remembering he was in the bed next to hers; maybe he couldn't sleep and needed her to comfort him. That thought made her feel warmly content.

"Tosh is asleep in his bed," Rachel murmured. "Sorry, babe, it's just me. The kids are at home asleep, but I couldn't leave, and now I'm exhausted. Can I sleep with you?"

Lauren reached her good arm around her and drew her close. "You don't hate me?"

Rachel rested her head against hers. "Why would I hate you?"

"Come on."

"It was an accident. You were being chased. I heard the story from Joe. If anyone's to blame, it's the fuckers in the other car."

"I hate myself. Al... is he still..."

Rachel sighed and said, "Yeah. His mom's there right now. I thought I'd use the time she was here to check on you. I couldn't..." Now she started crying. "I couldn't look her in the eye, Lauren. This is her only child, and she might outlive him."

"I'm so sorry, so, so sorry," Lauren said, crying too, now.

Rachel kissed her wetly on the cheek. "You got hurt too. Can you move your neck?"

"Not without a lot of pain and stiffness. I don't know how long this brace needs to stay on." She paused before saying, barely above a whisper, "The baby's gone."

Rachel stiffened, then relaxed again and said, "Fuck. I'm sorry, babe. I guess the accident shook you around."

"Yeah, I guess. But... I have a confession to make."

"What is it?"

"I never told any of my friends this. I had two miscarriages before I had Naomi. It's hereditary, I think. My mom had a couple, too. Maybe this would have happened anyway. I don't even know for sure if it was the accident that caused it, to tell you the truth."

"Oh." Rachel paused before saying, "Don't be mad at Joe, but he already told me."

"What?!" she squawked. "Why would he do that? And when?"

"It was a long time ago. I can't even remember how it came up."

Lauren was struggling with this. "That was a very personal and tragic thing. Only the family knew. Why would he tell you?"

"I don't know," Rachel said sheepishly. "Maybe he trusted that I wouldn't tell anyone. And I haven't."

"Still. This hurts."

"Oh, babe, I'm sorry. Look, if it will make you feel better, I'll tell you something I never told anyone. Only Al and Joe know this."

"Joe knows something I don't know?!" Lauren nearly shrieked. "Now I'm really hurt!"

"Shhhh, you'll wake Tosh," Rachel hissed. "I'm sorry, I really didn't want you to think less of me. It was right when we all reunited, and the last thing I wanted was to push you away right when I had you back again."

Lauren wished she could turn her head to look in the eyes of her best friend and lover, to drive home what she was about to say. "I'd never think less of you, Rachel. I fucking love you."