Dream SMP & Hermitcraft Incorrect Quotes

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Phil: Name a more iconic duo than my crippling fear of abandonment and my anxiety. I'll wait.

Impulse: You and me!

Phil: *tearing up* Ok.

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Cleo: Astrology is fun because i can pretend that all of my behaviors are just a result of being a Gemini and not symptoms of mental illness.

Sam: Being a Gemini is a mental illness. That's not hate it's just a fact.

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Ant, holding an antique bottle: Is this whiskey or perfume?

Purpled: *grabs and chugs the entire bottle*

Purpled:

Purpled: It's perfume.

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Fundy: I need you to come meet me, and I need you to come alone.

Cub: And I need you to be less vague and weird.

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*Something crashes*

Tango: Shoot-

Phil: *running into the room in a panic* WHAT FELL?!

George: *walking by the room calmly* What died?

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Dream: I see the red flags, I acknowledge that they're there, and then I completely ignore them.

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Bdubs: Why is Ponk crying?

Skeppy: They saw a leaf on the sidewalk and-

Ponk: IT LOOKED SO CRUNCHY!

Bdubs: Please don't say what I think you're gonna say-

Ponk: AND WHEN I STEPPED ON IT THERE WAS NO CRUNCH!

Bdubs: NO, NOT THAT!

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Slime: Guys, I have a question.

Grian: kys <3

Slime: I love you too.

Cub: Ah, yes. Siblings.

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Dream: Are you laughing at that video of Zedaph and Ranboo fighting?

Puffy: No.

Puffy: I'm laughing at the comments.

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Bad: I don't like bugs. Phil, are you even listening to me?

Phil: I seem to have misplaced my ant farm.

Bad, at Ant: MOOOOOM!

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Scar: If you get in trouble, I'm gonna be like... a lawyer to you. Ok?

Foolish: Okay.

*later*

Skeppy: Foolish! Sit down on the chair, you're in trouble.

Scar, whispering: Deny everything.

Foolish, loudly: That isn't a chair.

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Scar: Any questions?

Ranboo: Uh, yeah, WHAT THE FUCK WAS THAT?

Scar: Uh, a plan, duh...

Sapnap: Ranboo, chill, I know it's weird, but Scar has a point.

Ranboo:

Ranboo: THAT WAS LITERALLY A PONY DOODLE WITH A HAT!!

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Iskall: Do you know the ABCs of first aid?

Purpled: A. Bone. Coming out of the skin is very bad.

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Hannah: Honestly, I am so evil. So full of darkness. I feed of the souls of the living I strike fear into-

Fundy: You sleep with a teddybear.

Hannah: He's my sECOND IN COMMAND IN MY ARMY OF DARKNESS!

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Purpled: Every zoo is a petting zoo unless you're a coward.

Skeppy: I'm worried about you.

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Stress: FUCK THE CHAIR. PARDON ME FOR MAKING MYSELF COMFORTABLE DURING A SINCERE HEART TO HEART DISCUSSION WITH A DEAR FRIEND IN NEED!

Stress: BUT THE TIME HAS COME FOR ME TO CEASE STRADDLING THIS DEEPLY OFFENSIVE PIECE OF FURNITURE! AWAY WITH YE, FOUR LEGGED TEMPTRESS! DISTRACT US NO MORE WITH THE MOST BASIC AND UTILITARIAN FORM OF COMFORT YOU SUPPLY!

George: Stress just threw a tantrum about a chair.

George: I just won Stress Tantrum Bingo.

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George: Am I a boy? Am I a girl? It doesn't matter. I'm going to burn your house down.

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Stress: So what's the plan?

Mumbo: I don't know. You're smart, *points at Etho* they're mean, come up with something.

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Ant: There are three ways to handle a difficult situation. The right way, the wrong way, and the Techno way.

Ranboo: Isn't that the wrong way?

Ant: Yes, but it's faster.

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Hello everyone and welcome to my shit post book, where I procrastinate everything by creating incorrect quotes. How are yall doing today?