The Fake Soulmate [ 𝙏𝙓𝙏 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝘼𝙐 ]

💥 : A Right to Doubt

"What's making you so happy today, Beomgyu-ah?"
"What? What do you mean happy?"

I take a bite out of my breakfast, looking at my mother with genuine confusion. She's walking around the house trying to make sure she hasn't forgotten anything – at least that's what she claims, but I know she's somewhat nervous for her job interview. Walking around helps the tension.

"I don't know, son. You have such a beautiful smile on your face."
I chuckle. "Mommm."
"What? Let me guess. That Soobin guy got kicked out of school or something?"

"No, actually... he's my friend."
"Huh?"

Her eyes let me know her worries. And I get it – why would I be friends with my own ex-bully? It takes my mom a moment to understand, or maybe pretend she understood while she figures it out later.

"I'm leaving now. Have a nice day, Beomgyu-ah, fighting!"
"Good luck for the interview! Fighting!"

She walks to the door before turning back. "Beomgyu-ah."
"Yes?"

"Take care of yourself, son. All I wish for is your happiness and safety," she says, smiling brightly.

—

In the past few days, I've been hanging with Soobin and Yeonjun's friend group. I'm considered a little part of it, because, well, I can't possibly be the center of attention like Soobin. Nobody asked questions about why I was suddenly "with the guys" – they just went with the flow. Still, I felt intimidated at first and decided to talk about it to Yeonjun.

"What if he hurts me again?"
"Don't worry. We'll all make sure he doesn't," he told me.

Considering that he already is Soobin's good friend, I chose to trust him.

Still to this day I wonder how a simple guy and the nicest student could ever change Heonbon school's bad boy.

"Yeonjun, hi!"
"Waddup."

When I find him, he's eating some pastry while leaning on the gate, as usual. I lean next to him.

"How are you?"
"You asked that like three times yesterday," I chuckle.
"Yeah, but the fight seemed really..."

I recall my fight against Taehyun in the cafeteria. How I replied to Yeonjun when he asked me if I was okay, to which I responded I'm fine.

"Oh, yeah. Well it's been some time since I got in a fight... Since I last fought physically with Soobin actually."
"Mhm."
"So I dunno. On the other hand lots of people are questioning my friendship with him."

"Hey. Don't listen to these people, man." Yeonjun says with his mouth full. He swallows before continuing. "You have a right to doubt. And it's also okay to realize maybe you don't wanna be friends with Soobin."

I suddenly remember my state before Yeonjun spoke to me for the first time. I was helpless. Lonely. Resentful. Suicidal. I was a mess.

Everything changed when Yeonjun came. I saw new opportunities that are right in front of me. Do I want to take chances to actually feel better with people or do I want to go back to the mess I was?

"Yeonjun, I have an idea."
"What?"
"I'll ask him to do homework together after school."

—

I look at Soobin. The ladder is eating his ramen like it's his last, making Joshua give him a look once or twice.

"Soobin," I call.
"Uh?"
"Eat slower, your belly might hurt later."
"Oh."
"Did something happen? Why are you so hungry?" a chuckling Joshua asks, making the others laugh.
"Guys, this ramen portion is fucking huge. I wanna be done before class."

The guys move on and talk more among themselves. Discretely, I tap Soobin's right shoulder.

"Can I have some?"
"Of course."

I take my chopsticks to get a load of his ramen while he's looking. Good, I have his attention.

"By the way Soobin," I say with a mouth half-ful.
"Yeah?"
"I gulp wanted to know if you'd like to do homework together."
"When?"
"I dunno. After school."

"That could be a good idea. I say that 'cause Yeonjun wanted me to socialize. You know the guy."
"Haha, yeah. So, after school? Your house?"
"Yeah, I have tons of porn."

I blink, speechless. Is this guy dead serious?

Seungkwan, who's sitting to Soobin's left, opens his eyes widely.
"Boy. Don't get fooled. Soobin always jokes when he says he got porn."
Everyone laughs, making me laugh along with them.
"Yah Boo Seungkwan! You bastard, I had him!"
"Oh, come on. Lil gyu's smarter than that," Seungkwan says, followed by Joshua agreeing.

Soobin looks at me.

The moment is brief, but I wish I caught it on cam. His round black eyes look in mine deeply, and they smile, followed by his mouth, dimples, and cheeks.

—

"WHAT THE FUCK DOES THAT MEAN AAAAAAA"
"Soobin please."

Soobin's house is honestly pretty normal, I don't know what I expected. The only surprising factor would be the recessive gene of his family: being pretty loud.

It's not a bad thing. But both his parents did more than just greeting me when I arrived. They like to talk. A lot. I was surprised at first, but thinking back I guess it was kinda funny.

Soobin's room is a bit of a mess, but it doesn't stop us from working. The only thing that seems to keep Soobin from completing his worksheet is... himself.

"Can we take a break? I think I'm tired."
"Yeah, of course. You did pretty well," I say, half-joking.
"If it wasn't for your help I don't know what I'd do," he says, letting himself fall on the bed.

"Ahhhhhhh."

Understanding his exhaustion, I lay down next to him.

"Why is school so tiring?"
"I dunno, Gyu. I dunno."

A silence lands on us like a feather. The work exhausted both of us to a point where just laying down sets us at peace. And so, we breathe the air around the room, relaxed.

That's when I remember what I wanted to ask Soobin in the first place. Slightly nervous, I take a breath.

"Soobin-hyung."
"Yeah."
"Are we friends?"

He sighs, which gives a delay to the reply. And he's so tired that he sounds like he's sleep talking. "Eh... I think so."
"Do you think it's... okay to doubt?"

"Of course it is. Out of alllll people it was Yeonjun who set us together. Just because he saw that both of us could improve. But hey."

I look at him as he turns his head towards me. "If it doesn't work, if I end up hurting you like the jerk I am at this moment, we'll stop. But if we do end up being the best of friends, then..."

"Hm?"
"I'll be fucking glad."