The Fake Soulmate [ 𝙏𝙓𝙏 𝙎𝙘𝙝𝙤𝙤𝙡 𝘼𝙐 ]

⛓ : The Right Choice

On monday, it was cold. I had to dress warm.

I walked past the gate with Beomgyu. He's cute. I love him.

I said hi to my friends. Seungkwan. Yeonjun. Joshua. Seokmin. Seungcheol. Seungcheol, he has a convincing smile. It's not easy to know what he means when he speaks.

I entered school. I waved goodbye to the other friends. I entered class. That's when they started. I didn't do anything, they just started to whisper around.

"I heard they're together."
"Did you see them kiss?"
"Who?" I asked.
"Taehyun and Lia."

Oh. Okay.

—

On Tuesday, it was cold too. I had to dress warm again.

I walked past the gate with Beomgyu. We have a thing together that we have to hide.

I said hi to my friends. Seungkwan. Yeonjun. Joshua. Strange, I wonder where the others went.

I entered school and saw them in the hallways. I waved goodbye to them. They didn't do it back. I entered class. It continued. I still didn't do anything.

"They always hang out after school."
"I never knew he was like that."
"Just when I was about to ask him out..."
"Who?" I asked.
"Taehyun and Lia."

Huh?

I went to eat lunch. Joshua was missing.

—

On Wednesday, it was colder. I had to dress warmer.

I walked past the gate with Beomgyu. He's amazing. I admire him.

I said hi to Yeonjun and Seungkwan. Seungkwan, he was acting distant.

I entered school. People were watching. My friends who don't talk to me anymore. I tried to wave. I entered class. It continued.

"His friends know."
"What a freak. Did they have sex?"
"I thought he was a real guy. But good for them if they wanna be together."
"Taehyun and Lia?" I asked.

"Sure."

I went to eat lunch. Seungkwan was there. Instead, he asked me: "So, you guys are gay?"

And I knew it was coming. I knew it was. I sipped my water. "Why the fuck would I be gay?" Was that me speaking? Maybe not, but at least it's my voice.

"I was told you and Beomgyu fucked last weekend. How was it, huh?"

We haven't. "Where did you hear that?" "That's not what happened, is it?" someone a few feet away affirmed: Hwang Hyunjin, who was sitting at the table behind Seungkwan. "I heard this guy," he said, pointing at me, "was flirting with Beomgyu on Sunday."

"And where did you hear that?" Yeonjun stood, defending us. "I dunno, somewhere. Just sayin', you don't have to believe me."

"Soobin, calm down," Yeonjun whispered.

I stayed silently loud the whole day.

—

Today, Thursday, it's freezing. I tried to dress warm.

I walk past the gate with Beomgyu. I have to hide.

I say hi to Yeonjun. I enter school. I walk quicker in the hallways. I enter class. I know it's there. I hate it.

I go to eat lunch. I see Beomgyu. I turn away. I go to the bathroom with my tray, and for the first time in a while, I cry.

—

During all his highschool life, Soobin was, to everyone, the tall popular guy who would get all the girls falling for him and guys wanting to be his friend despite his straightforward personality. Students his age would describe him like that kind of character from a movie: the macho guy with all the attention, glory and fame. And the adults, such as his parents and teachers, mostly saw the part of him that he hated. His anger issues. Coping with shit by bullying students. By responding rudely. That's what he was to elder people: rude.

But he wasn't rude, he told himself deep inside. He knew he wasn't all despicable under what others labelled him as. He had a kind side, he just didn't know how to express it. He also didn't know what was wrong.

Soobin didn't know himself.

That was until Yeonjun. Choi Yeonjun came into his life in the beginning of this year. He had just gotten into Heonbon All-boys High and left too small hints on why he couldn't before. He got attention as well, because there wasn't a lot of new students in the higher grades: yes, he was the only new student in Soobin's class this year. But unlike anyone else's, his eyes held something special: he wanted to know Soobin for who he was.

Everything seemed to have changed. In not even a few weeks, Yeonjun could confidently tell him when he was going too far. When he wasn't choosing the right actions. Each time, Soobin had the right to do as Yeonjun told him or not. And Lord did he learn of his mistakes.

Yeonjun helped Soobin. He improved so much in terms of managing himself and his actions, Yeonjun successfully made him become friends with the boy he was bullying. No, he made them start a whole situationship. Soobin found the confidence to kiss someone without having to worry what it means. Until this week.

Soobin chickened out for the first time in a while. He can't do it. Not now that Lia already started to date someone else. It hurts him. He doesn't know why, but it kills him inside, so bad. He can't go out there and face Beomgyu like this. He can't face the fact that someone saw them together last weekend. That someone told everyone. That people are making things up about him. That his image is changing beyond his control. He can't keep hanging with Beomgyu.

Maybe that's the right choice.

Soobin takes out his cell phone, about to text the one he thinks he'll never move on from. With trembling fingers, he types: "We can't see each other anymore. People are watching. Leave me alone." and hits Send.

Maybe that's not the right choice. But what else can he do?