I'm Still Here

Ch. 19

It was as simple as Hudson walking into my room to change my whole mood. When Grant and Belle ran out it made me laugh, but I was still a little heated. As soon as Hudson walked in, it was like a breath of fresh air in my antiseptic scented hospital room and I felt instantly lighter. I wasn't bogged down by feelings of rage and betrayal. Perhaps I can use my skills to do something nice for Hudson. It'd be a nice palate cleanser from driving my traitorous former boyfriend and best friend crazy.

"I think your blood pressure just went back to a normal level. Although I think I detect your heart rate going up a tad," Sera said with a chuckle.

I rolled my eyes and tried to control the blush I felt sure was visible on my cheeks. It was true though. Hudson made me feel calm and warm and safe. It's crazy to think that if it weren't for this coma I wouldn't have realized any of this. If and when I wake up, how would I explain it to him? This has all been so one-sided and he won't understand why I suddenly feel like I know him so well. Will he think I'm out of my mind if I wake up and tell him that I know we have a special connection?

Maybe not, if he truly believes when he talks to me or studies with me or watches movies with me that I can actually hear him. I can tell him I heard everything and that it made me realize so many things. That would be true and not sound like I'm some weirdo who has been watching him.

"Do you think if I do something that shows him I'm here it'll freak him out?" I ask Sera nervously. I really want to do something but I don't want him to get scared and never visit me again.

"That's tricky. It's hard to tell how people will react. Some fully embrace signs from their loved ones. Others get spooked," she shrugged. "And it's hard to predict. Sometimes you think the person will be totally hyped about it and then they run out of the room in the blink of an eye screaming bloody murder."

I bite my lip in thought. I really don't know which camp Hudson will fall in, but maybe if I do something subtle it won't be too disconcerting.

"In my opinion though," Sera said as she studied me, "I don't think it would scare Hudson." She knew all too well that I really wanted to do something. To send him some sort of sign that I was here and could hear him. Not just for fun, but as a small reciprocation for all he's done for me the last few weeks.

I sighed. "I need to think of something to do though. Something subtle enough that it's not scary, but not too subtle that he won't even notice it."

"And I want him to know it's me," I add. That was an important detail. I don't want him to think my room is haunted or something with some ghost with unfinished business in the hospital.

I look around my room as Hudson continues to "show" me more movie trailers on his laptop, all of which I hope to wake up to see in theaters. What could I possibly do, move, touch that would let him know it's me?

The bed curtains have no personal connection to me. There was nothing on tv that would hint to him that I was the one controlling the remote. The necklace was easy to use for my trick on Grant and Belle because they knew the personal connection it held between Grant and me.

I went to sit on the edge of my bed on the opposite side from where Hudson sat in the chair. I watched the movie trailers and got excited when the upcoming sequel to a fantasy movie I love started playing. As if Hudson knew I would really love this trailer, he increased the volume. The theatrical music played, the actors ran across the screen in black, stealthy clothing, and a dark castle loomed ahead. The dramatic music and sounds of screaming and clashing of swords upped the excitement for the next installment in the series. The trailer ended with the female protagonist in a surprising loving embrace with a guy we all believed to be the enemy in the first movie. My jaw dropped and so did Hudson's.